Letters: Day One

Dear WalMart,

Do you see that face? That is exactly the expression that my face falls into immediately upon pulling into your parking lot. I should know better, but I keep thinking I should just give you one more chance. We used to have a decent relationship. Maybe we could patch things up a bit.

Yet again, you prove to me why my skin crawls just thinking about even looking upon you.

There are major improvements to be done in your parking lot. One, you should widen the road at your entrance. There is always someone dropping their shopping partner off at the door. Which wouldn't be so bad if they weren't blocking traffic both ways.

And what's the deal with the doorways? You've got them all blocked up so there's a very narrow space for people to cram through to get in or out and I'm sorry but I don't really like being crammed with people I know, let alone strangers.

I'm also hoping you could educate your customers on courtesy.

When people come in sight of you, it's like they lose all sense of humanity. They turn into animals and pay no attention to what's happening around them. They run their kids into poles and other people. They come to a dead stop right in front of you, even when they know you're coming down the crowded aisle behind them because they totally cut you off and nearly made you ram your cart into some poor little old lady.

And then there's the lady. THE lady.

Yes, I was being slow. But I was trying to be thoughtful in my purchase. I made sure to hug the shelves as close as I could so there would be plenty of room for people to come by. Because I'm nice like that.

But THE lady pulls around me and instead of parking her cart near a shelf, she parks it crooked right in the middle of the aisle so not only can I not move forward, neither can the lady on the other side of THE lady. It was really quite lovely.

And can you please please PLEASE invest in a few more cart cages for the parking lot? Do you see how many carts are strewn all over the lot?

I want to work this out. I really do. The ball is in your court.

Heart,
Aunt Bee

Good Intentions You Had Many

So here we are at a new month and my thirty one days of posting is over. Time to take a break like last time, right?

Well, no. I think I'm going to do this again. The NaBloPoMo theme for this month is "Letters." And there's only thirty days this month . . .

So I guess you should buckle in and get excited about another month of craptastic posting!

Lists: Day Thirty One and OVER!

Casey and I decided a couple of weeks ago that we were going to Sumo for Raw's birthday.

I also said we should go to a movie and Casey flipped out and went off for about twenty minutes about how he hates movies. "You're going to one because it's her birthday and she likes movies!" I told him. I swear he's such a baby.

I thought Raw would be excited but she surprised me.

"I don't want to go to Sumo!" I was speechless. She had to be joking! "I want to go to the place where Sumo used to be."

I was flabbergasted and I think my face was expressing something more along the lines of revolt because Raw tried to defend herself. "I want sushi."

"Sumo has sushi! Sumo has awesome sushi!"

Raw looked a little sad and explained that this new place, Ichiban, was supposed to be like Sumo but on a smaller, quicker and most likely less busy scale. I rolled my eyes and we ended up moving on to a different subject.

On my way home, I realized what a brat I was. If she didn't want to go to Sumo, we would go wherever she wanted! What was wrong with me? I swear, I'm such a baby!

I called her up. "I'm sorry. I'll totally go wherever you want! It's your birthday!"

"Good. Because I already have gift certificates."

Saturday was the big day and Raw was "Free of Children," so there were five things she wanted to do.

1. Get coffee
2. Go Shopping
3. Eat Sushi
4. Go to a Movie
5. Get a Drink

There were a couple of things on the list that we could lump together. We got Starbuck's on the way to the mall. Raw and I sat in the back of the van and made Casey drive us around. Which was great fun for me.

*Clap! Clap!* "Driver! Take us to the mall!"

We all ended up buying shoes at the mall. Raw and I bought the cutest shoes ever. No. Seriously. Look at those. Adorable, right?

Yeah. So we now have matching shoes. Like as if we were five years old. I also got a Yo Gabba Gabba shirt.

After the mall, we headed over to Target, which was awesome. Raw and I tried on sunglasses for about half an hour. I liked the ones I picked out so much that I wore them around the store--tags and all.

We headed over to Ichiban, hungry and worn out from the shopping. we were hoping to take care of the sushi and the drink at the same time. Ichiban had other ideas.

They were out of several things we wanted.

1. Liquor

2. Beer
"What can I get you to drink? No beer or liquor. It's expired."
I'm assuming she meant the liquor license.

3. Spring rolls.
"I'm sorry! That's the one thing we don't have that's listed on the menu. I don't know why they still have it there!"

4. Gyoza
"I hate to tell you this, but they just told me that we're out of the gyoza!

Luckily, they weren't out of sushi. That could have been a big problem. I thought it was pretty good sushi. Not as good as Sumo, but . . . The atomic rolls were the perfect amount of spicy. And I ordered one that was a surprise. I think it was called Akuma or something. It came out all warm because they fried the whole roll before slicing it. Pretty tasty!

We didn't think we'd have proper time to get to the movie, so we decided to extend Raw's birthday by a day. We scheduled a trip to the theatre for Sunday, which left us more time for drinking on Saturday!

Not that we drank much. But it doesn't take much for Raw these days. Three beers and she's silly.

Well, silliER.

Graceful Raw from Aunt Bee on Vimeo.

Lists: Day Thirty

I'm usually pretty good at buying presents.

They usually just pop out at me as I'm wandering store aisles or perusing the internet. Usually, it's way before I actually need to have a present. Casey's birthday isn't until the end of May and I've had his present for a week, now.

I'm afraid all that good luck is at an end. Raw's birthday was Saturday and I didn't have her full gift lineup until Thursday. And I wasn't satisfied!

I got her
*A Crest SpinBrush Pro Recharge
*Three fifty meter packages of dental floss
*Replacement heads for the SpinBrush
*Toothpaste

Yeah. I'm totally not kidding. Lamest present ever, right?

It's not like I came up with it all by myself. I told Raw a few weeks ago that I was having trouble finding a present for her.

"I want a Crest SpinBrush toothbrush with replaceable heads."

"And so it will be."

But how could I just get her a toothbrush. For weeks, I searched all over, trying to find something cool to get. I was going to get her the Nike + iPod Sport Kit, but found out you have to have the shoes, too.

"Here's your present! I bought the cheap part! Now you get the shoes! Happy Birthday!"

I even thought about giving her a hundred dollar bill, but cash is so tacky . . .

Instead, I freaked out and just stocked up on dental care products. If it's clean teeth she wanted, clean teeth she would have!

As she was opening her presents, I sulked. "I'm sorry it's such a lame present."

"Are you kidding? It's awesome!"

I'm thinking maybe toothbrushes are cool to give as presents. So now everyone's getting one for their birthday! Go clean teeth!

Run Fatboy Run

Lists: Day Twenty Nine

I mentioned before that I subscribed to Paste Magazine and enjoyed it. I'm on my third issue and totally obsessed.

I feel kind of bad. I didn't even know what the magazine was when I subscribed. I saw a link on the internet that allowed you to subscribe by paying what you wanted. I subscribed with five bucks. Had I known how brilliant it was, I would have sent more. At least another fifty cents!

What makes the magazine so great?

1. I can read the album reviews and know if I'm going to like the CD.

. . . inspires awe at how deftly the band employs bells, organ swells, orchestral flourishes and stacked, co-ed "oohs" and "aahs" for instant indie pop bliss.

No thanks!

2. The articles vary from ice cream trucks to how a person could attend over thirty music festivals in a season to living in Germany.

"Yes, America should be better parents to the world!"
"How do you answer to that, Hollis?" she'd say, as if I needed to answer anything.
But I tried anyway, pointing out that if they think we're such bad parents maybe they should just goddamn grow p and move out of the house.

3. The layout and artwork actually fit the content.
Especially now that they just re-designed it.

4. They like Yo Gabba Gabba!

5. The CD.

Each issue comes with a CD full of tracks by artists featured in the album reviews and elswhere. The first CD I received started off with Radiohead, so of course I loved that one

I've been pretty obsessed with the second CD. Particularly these songs:

"Pretend" Shelby Lynne
"Mockingbird" Allison Moorer

This month's CD is full of good stuff, too. I had this song on repeat for awhile:
"Changing Your Mind" Bob Schneider

The first couple of minutes really hit me and had meaning for me. But then it turned into a total break-up song. And then there's the end with the werewolf. I don't understand that part.

This is the song I'm taking to heart, now.

"Hideaway" The Weepies

I made a Muxtape for you, so you can have a listen yourself.

Yes, John Doe. This does help to confirm your theory that I like whiny voices.


ps--This song isn't on any of the CDs but this is my favorite Bob Scheider song:

Lists: Day Twenty Eight

Things that have annoyed me over the last couple of weeks:

1. People who are still fastening their pants or buckling their belts after they've exited their bathroom stall.

2. People who talk about passion with completely monotone voices.

3. People who pull their clothes all the way to the ground when they use the restroom.

4. People who throw balls around all day and use noisemakers at work.
"I'm speaking with a client who now thinks I'm missing recess."

5. People who hang up mid-sentence.
"You're a useless f@%#in--"
What? What am I? Tell me that noun!!!

I AM A GENIUS!

I Never Understood

I have a friend who recently applied for a job with a railroad. They've never worked for a railroad so they're dreading the inevitable "Do you have experience?"

"Say yes! Fake it!" I said as they laughed at me. "Just say you were the one who steered!"

Lists: Day Twenty Seven

I thought I might be kind of relieved, but I was wrong.

I'm not moving to New York. The opportunity I mentioned before didn't pan out, so I don't have to pack up my tons of crap and take it halfway across the country. So I should be glad. That would be a lot of packing.

But I'm pretty bummed. I always knew it was a long shot, but I really had myself talked into it. I knew I'd miss my family and friends, but it's not like it's 1852 and I'd only send messages via Pony Express. And I was crazy excited about the opportunity.

I always imagined I'd live in New York and now I finally had a reason to go!

Anyway. I'm bummed. But there's a lot of people who are really happy.

1. My parents.
They weren't too keen on me being so far away.

2. My brother.
How can I fix his computer from so far away?

3. My friends.
Who would spoil their children and provide them with great entertainment?

4. My co-workers.
Who would answer all their questions?
5. The executives at Target.
Who would buy all their stuff? There are no Targets on the island.

The poomongers weren't worried. They know I'll send presents from anywhere.

Lists: Day Twenty Six

I mentioned the other day that people were surprised at some of the things I like.

Apparently I also angered people. I guess I'm not supposed to like both ABBA and Tool. Seriously people. Calm down. I'm full of contradictions. Just take a gander at my favorite professional sports teams:

Kansas City Chiefs
Oakland Raiders
Kansas City Royals
Oakland A's

Lists: Day Twenty Five

I was talking to Michael tonight and we discussed a variety of things, as usual.

"Hey! You know some Catholic people! Are the Catholics doing away with purgatory?"

First, I laughed. I'm not sure why. It just struck me as funny. Second, I responded. "I don't know. I'll check. But I just can't imagine. I mean what about all the people already in purgatory?"

"That was my first question!"

A quick Wikipedia search seemed to indicate that purgatory was still going strong. We had many other things to discuss an email I had received.

It was one of those forwards that makes its way around the world and back to each person at least three times. It had an angel in it that was bestowing blessings, but at the end, the email threatened harm to me if I didn't forward the mail.

"I think every email I get like that has an angel in it. What did the angels do before email?"

We brainstormed for awhile and came up with several things.

1. Executed God's will.
2. Announced births and other events.
3. Played trumpets.
4. Made food cake.
5. Smited.
6. Annhiliated.
7. Danced on the head of a pin.
8. Fell from Heaven.
9. Played baseball in Southern California.
10. Got fruit spread in Philly. Or Philly in fruit spread. I'm not sure which.
11. Acted as eyes of God.
12. Rode Motorcycles.
13. Wrassled.
14. Worked for Charlie.
15. Fought wars.
16. Debated whether or not to get rid of purgatory.
16. Acted as guardians.
17. Inspired Tony Award Winning plays that were made into television mini-series.
18. Made Easy Cheesy Chili Dip.
19. Guarded the gates of heaven.
20. Made hair pasta.

Rendition

Why the hell was this all backwardsy/forwardsy? What was the point of that?

Sahara

Lists: Day Twenty Four

Last Friday, I was pretty obnoxious.

Jill asked me what I was doing for the weekend and all I could do was say "BUNNY CAKE!!!"

At random times during the day, I would send her a message. "BUNNY CAKE!!!"

I guess what you could gather from this obnoxiousness is that I was pretty excited about a bunny cake. And you would gather correctly. You see, my hometown has a bakery that makes bunny cakes for Easter.

They're not lame like the bunny cakes I see everywhere else. They're not only delicious, they're also adorable!

I'm not a giant cake fan. I mean, I'll eat it. But I could definitely live without it. I could especially do without frosting. It's just too much for me.

Usually. But when it comes to bunny cakes, I'm all into the frosting. I think it may have something to do with the coconut. I love coconut.

You can't just dive into a bunny cake. Oh, no. You have to eat it a certain way. Here is a list of steps you must take in eating one. Just in case you ever manage to be lucky enough to get your hands on BUNNY CAKE!!!

1. Gaze lovingly upon your BUNNY CAKE!!!

2. Gently pull one of the ears from the cake.

3. Gently pull out the other ear.

4. The bunny can smell his impending death. Pull off his nose.

5. The bunny should not see the horrors. Take his eye.

6. Better take the other eye, too.

7. Eat the bunny, head first. It's more humane that way.

I didn't provide photos for the rest of the carnage. It was just too much to handle.

The cake? It was moist and delicious!

Lists: Day Twenty Three

Reasons to Not Fall Asleep While Babysitting

1. The kid will not fall asleep just because you did.
2. The kid will get bored.
3. The kid will poop on your living room floor.
4. The kid will get out your wedding cake knife and sever set.
5. The kid will . . . well I think you can guess what happens next. Hint: The kid will not be serving cake with those things.
6. The kid will get out the champagne glasses from your wedding and fill them with . . . I think I'll let you fill in the blanks on that one again.
7. The kid will decide it's time for you to get up and see the masterpiece.
8. The kid will wake you up by smacking you in the face with the cake server. Yes that cake server.
9. You'll have a heart attack and die when you see the mess.
10. Oh and you'll have poop on your face.

Lists: Day Twenty Two

I've told you a time or two about how people enjoy "food days" where I work.

It's starting to get insane. Our team is supposed to have one monthly. We have them for birthdays. When people have babies. When new team members join us.

And of course February was Black History Month. How did we celebrate? That's right. Food Day.

We got an email a couple of weeks in advance, announcing the department-wide event. "Bring food from your culture."

What were some of the suggested dishes?

1. Cornish Hens
2. Sweet Potato's*
3. Mashed Potatos* with Gravy
4. Biscuits
5. Beans
6. Cornbread
7. Yellow Cake
8. Barbecue Chicken

Too bad I missed it.

*Their misspelling.

Lists: Day Twenty One

People who haven't known me for years are always surprised when they find out about stuff I like.

Today, Jill asked me if my family was into "the whole Final Four thing."

"They are. I am, too."

I then told her about how excited I was at the idea that Duke might lose last night. They were down by one and had just missed a shot. Belmont got the rebound and I jumped out of my chair.

I started rocking back and forth and silently willed Belmont to win. Don't mess this up. Calm down. You can do this. Get some points.

They mad a shot. And missed. Duke came down with the rebound.

"NOW YOU'RE GONNA LOOOOOSE!"

Yeah. I actually shouted at the television. I think I probably looked like the very end of this clip:

Jill was really surprised. I guess she didn't take me for a sportsy kinda gal. I'm not really sure how that happens. It's not like I try to hide my interests. I don't try to be that girl for different people.

I think it has to do with how people get to know each other. We're drawn to each other by common interests and as time goes on, you find out other things.

I've done a lot of surprising the last few months with my enjoyment of several things:

-golfing
-lima beans
-video games
-crosswords
-ABBA
-Tool
-Tetris
-crosswords
-reading
-chicken livers
-rhubarb
-staying up all night.
-politics
-sushi

The people who have known me a long time probably won't be surprised about these things. My dad, for example, knows all about the lima beans. My brother and I would fight over who got to eat the beans from Dad's soup. Raw has always been freaked out by my nocturnal ways. She suspects I might be some kind of vampire hybrid.

I'm sure I have some surprises up my sleeve.

Lists: Day Twenty

A couple of weeks ago, I bought some Twizzlers Cherry Nibs.

I love me some red licorice and Nibs are like the ultimate. When I was lifeguarding, I think I lived on these for a full summer. No really. I spent so much time at the pool when I worked there, that my diet consisted of a few terrible things:

1. Nibs
2. Peanut Butter M&M's, smashed in bag and then frozen into a makeshift candy bar.
3. Sunshine
4. Chicken pita pockets if my mom would bring it to me.
5. Sonic jalapeno poppers
6. Chlorine
7. Sonic blue coconut slushes
8. Sonic cherry limeades
9. Subway veggie delights
10. Yogurt

Healthy!

I gave up candy for Lent. I don't even eat that much candy. It's just that I forgot about Lent and candy was something I hadn't already had since the forty days started.

I've never wanted candy so bad in all my life.

My mom has always said Sundays don't count since they're not calculated in the forty days, so we were always allowed to have what we gave up. So it was exciting to get Nibs on that particular Sunday.

I'd been very good about not giving in to these new cravings. I was turning down candy at work and from friends. To finally get a taste of candy was going to be great. Especially since it was one of my all-time favorites!

Yesterday, there was a big traffic jam on Kellogg and I was creeping along. Bored, I reached down and grabbed the bag of Nibs that was still sitting there and nibbled while I sang along to my CD.

Today, I drove through downtown and traffic was way congested, so I reached for the remaining Nibs and popped a couple in my mouth. As I was chewing, I flipped out.

"I'M EATING CANDY!"

And after I gave Raw all that crap about eating ice cream.

Give it Up, Hour after Hour

It all started this morning as I was telling the car in front of me to "Go! Go white car, go!"

Which of course turned into "Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!"

Which of course kept this song stuck in my head all day long.

Lists: Day Nineteen

Tonight, I headed over to Jacque's with red beans and rice.

I have to have my red beans and rice a certain way with certain condiments and such. It's Jen's fault.

1. The red beans and rice must be The San Francisco Treat.
2. I must have a little shredded cheese.
3. If there's no toast, it just ain't right.
4. Of course there's got to be hot sauce. But pepper will do.
5. It can't be soupy.

Well, I kinda failed on number five. But Evan seemed to like it.

The green beans, though . . . not so much. They went in and right back out.

"Gross. I don't like it."

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Lists: Day Eighteen

Sophia and Sadie were baptized on Saturday. We were all a little nervous for several reasons.

1. We were going to Mass first.
Not that Mass is bad or anything. But have you ever been to Mass with four children aged two and under? Raw only had to leave once with Sadie. And Ryan left once with LexiMo. Once, because they never came back. And Sophia only slammed her head into the back of the pew twice. And she only broke out into a full-out drama queen wail once.
All in all, not so bad!

2. Sophia is a parrot.
Sometimes, nobody knows where she picks up words. But one word that she really seemed to enjoy for awhile was "evil."
Now that wouldn't be so bad. Except she says it in a really evil voice. And with crazy eyes. So it makes you think maybe she's possessed.
We were all pretty sure she would break out in an "evil" fit when the priest poured the holy water on her head.
Apparently, she only said it once during Mass.

3. The children were all wearing white.
Bright, shiny white. Have you ever tried to keep a baby who is just learning to crawl off the floor? Not so easy.

4. How screaming would there be during the actual baptism.
It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The priest anointed each child's chest, first. They all seemed pretty cool with it. Oh except for Sophia. She was last and tried to twist her way right out of Casey's arms to get away.
I held Sadie during the part with the holy water. I leaned her back and when the priest started pouring water on her head, she gave me a funny look. "What's the deal? A bath? But I have my clothes on!"
Then she realized the water was cold. Then she started crying.
And Sophia? Well . . . Sophia pretty much didn't like any of the baptism. She complained--loudly--any time the priest approached her.
I leaned over to whisper in Raw's ear. "As long as she doesn't start sizzling, we have nothing to worry about."

And Made Me Smile for More

*This is awesome because I remember the internet in 1995. I think I even saw that lightning video. But I was surprised to hear there were modems slower than 14.4!

*The wall of my dreams!

*This is why Twitter is awesome. I LOL'd. 4RL.

*Oops!

*I'm sure you've probably already seen it, but Google Sky is a good time-waster!

*Good idea!

*And I always heard he was a jerk.

*"You go, Where did that come from?" he says. "You kind of go, Dude, weren't you in Dunston Checks In?"

Lists: Day Seventeen

Why was today a crappy St. Pat's?

1. I went back to work.

2. I had to work hard!
Can't expect anyone to go easy on me!

3. It was really dark when I woke up.

4. It was also lightning.
Someone put the fear into me at a young age, so I'm always afraid to take a shower when there's lightning.

5. I took my shower last-second.
Even more last-second than usual!

6. Everyone was driving around.

7. Everyone was driving at two miles per hour.

8. I hit every stop light.
Now you know why it's my dream to work from home. The stress-relief will work wonders!

9. Everyone else at work got their hair did last week, too.

10. I found out I should have celebrated a couple of days ago.
Not that I celebrated. Unless you count stopping by Target celebrating.

We Own the Night

Lists: Day Sixteen

Today, I did nothing.

It's my last day of vacation. I have to go back to work tomorrow. I deserve a day of nothing.

I ran out of nothing to do, so I took a bath. A bath with a ton of bubbles. And for some reason it reminded me of when I was a kid.

When I would take baths as a kid, I loved it when there were so many bubbles that, when the tub would drain, the bubbles would come out the overflow hole.

And then I got to thinking about how I really like weird things.

1. I really like to sort paper clips.
When I worked in a banking center and it was slow, I would weed out all the big silver paper clips from the others. Because those were the ones I liked best.

2. I like to draw stick figures.
On everything.

3. I love to look for little things that fall on the floor.
About once a month, my mom would drop the back of her earring on the bathroom floor. She would holler for me and I would come in and find it.

4. I love looking at color combinations.
Maybe I should blame this one on my mom, too. That dang color wheel! We'll blame the continuation of obsessiveness on ColourLovers.

5. I love to peel things.
Labels off of bottles, bar coasters, oranges . . . if it's peelable, I'll totally drive you nuts with my absent-minded peeling!

Rock Chalk!

Down with Texas!

Oh man I hate Texas. And I love you, Mario!

If KU plays like this in the big tournament, they can take the trophy.

If . . .

ps--What was Bobby Knight wearing today? What are those colors about? Is he Miami-bound?

UPDATE!

Number one seed!!!

Lists: Day Fifteen

I was reminded of this story the other night and couldn't quite remember all the details.

Back in the days before children; back before we all had mobile phones, I visited Raw and Casey in Lawrence.

We were all three hanging out at their apartment when Raw and I decided to go somewhere to do something. We weren't twenty-one yet, so there weren't a lot of options. I can't remember where we went but that's not really important.

What's important is knowing that Casey didn't come with us. For some reason, Raw wasn't going to take her key. I can't remember why she wouldn't bring a key or why Casey wouldn't come. But I do remember him making one important promise:

"You go. I'll be here when you get back."

When Raw and I came back to a locked door and no response to knocking, we did several things.

1. Cursed Casey.
2. Pounded on the door.
3. Shouted
4. Figured Casey was asleep in the bedroom.
5. Stood on the stoop and pondered what to do.
6. Cursed Casey.
7. Stood outside the bedroom window and yelled.
8. Apologized to the people on the first floor.
9. Found a broom and started pounding on Casey's window.
10. Cursed Casey as it started raining.
11. Walked ten miles uphill in the pouring rain to where The Croc was parked.
12. Drove around for awhile, trying to decide what to do.
13. Drove to Gumby's and asked Nate if we could use the phone.
14. Called and let the phone ring. I'm pretty sure this is where I snapped.
15. Cursed Casey.
16. Called again and let the phone ring until it cut me off.
17. Scored a free pizza.
18. Called and let the phone ring until Casey answered.
19. Cursed loudly into Casey's ear.
20. Drove home and cursed loudly into Casey's face.

Like I said, I can't remember the full details. I'm sure there was more cursing.

Anything to add, Raw?

Love is Like Laughter

I've just finished packing up all the presents I'm bringing for your party. Today you finally get to start talking about your birthday in terms of years.

It seems like you're taking after your Aunt Bee a bit. You've been reminding us for awhile that you're turning one.

Your new thing is to point your index finger in the air as if to say "I'm not sure if you remembered, but there's a special birthday coming up. A certain someone is turning one, you know."

I'm not sure what happened to the year. Wasn't it just the other day that you were a bug of a thing, cocooned in a blanket while I worried about whether or not my brother was ready to be a daddy? Now you're on the verge of taking your first steps and my brother is a pro at changing diapers.

Not that he doesn't beg your Grammy to change them instead.

We ask because we know she'll do it. That lady would do anything if it meant getting some more one-on-one with you.

And I know this will probably embarrass you later in life, but you're the same way. Yes. You're totally a Grandma's Boy.

If she's in the room and it's time to sleep, you don't want anyone but her. If she leaves your sight, you start bawling as though she were never returning.

You were hanging out with Grandpa and me and you bumped your head. Grandpa grabbed you and you whimpered but were fine. Grandpa sat down and you decided to be King of the Drama.

You started screaming and turning red. We tried to quiet you and I realized you were shouting at the hallway. You didn't realize Grammy was gone and you were hollering for her. I had to take you through the whole house to show you that she wasn't around before you'd stop yelling.

Which isn't to say you don't like anyone else. You remind me of your Daddy because you will smile at everyone. Even strangers. But especially with family.

And even more especially when you're in trouble. You do a lot of standing up at the coffee table. At Grammy's that means you have a lot of catalogs and junk mail and candles within your reach. Apparently, they're just so tempting you're always grabbing at something. And of course, someone is always telling you "no."

Instead of getting mad, though, you'll turn to the Negative Nancy and grin. It's funny because you don't even move your hand. You just turn with a big smile as if to say "But look at this! Aren't I adorable with this face? Do you really mean 'No?' Or do you mean 'Go ahead and do whatever you want, you gorgeous creature?'"

Of course we mean it, so we usually have to separate you from the table for a bit. You just wander, un-fazed, off to a toy that you're allowed to touch. But it's just a ploy to get us to think you're being good. Once we're not paying attention, you'll go right back to all that junk mail.

The problem with that plan is that there's always someone paying attention. Nobody can take their eyes off of you.

You've totally changed the way our family works. The television is on, but no one's watching. All plans are made revolving around you.

It kind of freaks me out to see the change in how the family acts now. I never thought I'd see your Daddy look at someone the way he looks at you. Or talk to someone in a voice like that! How goofy!

I knew Grammy would be kooky, but I didn't expect that most of our conversations would be all about you. I didn't know how heartbroken she would be when she's not able to see you in weeks.

Your Grandpa is the biggest surprise. That guy is crazy about you! He changed a diaper. Full of poo. He'll just gaze at you and tell me how he can't believe how awesome you are.

You are pretty awesome. Awesomely spoiled!

Someone's always buying you something. Or giving you a new treat. Or grabbing you for a snuggle.

You're pretty good at the snuggle when you want to be. Your new thing is to slam the side of your face into your snuggle object and pat it with your right hand. The Boy's version of the hug.

I always thought that the spoiling was going to be my job. The plan was that I would spoil you and I would be your favorite. Since everyone else is stealing my method, I'm always afraid you're not going to remember or like me so well.

Last time I saw you, you gave me that look when I showed up. You know, the look that says "Oh not this whacky chick again!"

Once I got my stuff put away, I grabbed you and tossed you in the air a few times. That always gets you laughing.

I tossed you in the air and then sat you in my lap. I would have tossed you more, but as I've mentioned, I was a little afraid of the results.

You didn't seem to mind, though. You laughed and then slammed your head down on my belly and gave it a good pat.

You like me!

You couldn't be bothered to sit there for long, though. No. You had too much to show me. You crawled off, giggling as you went.

You laugh all the time. No really. It's great! Because, what more could I wish for you?

It is always my greatest hope that you will be happy and healthy and that your life be full of laughter.

Happy Birthday, Jackson!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

Laughed and Said I'm Gonna Be What I Be

This was the fortune in my cookie tonight. So I'm still holding onto hope, I guess.

Please feel free to add the "in bed" in your head.