But Then the Smell Hits 'Em

Happy Halloween!

Gather 'round kids! It's time for the annual Jack-O-Lantern Joe story!

One night, my roommate and I were on one of our many late night trips to Food4Less. it was just before Halloween and, like most other stores, there was a huge pile of pumpkins under the ugly fluorescent lights.

As we left, I commented on how easy it seemed it would be to steal one of these pumpkins. Something posessed me and as we walked by, I just kinda grabbed one.

I'm not sure how it happened, really. But the pumpkin was the perfect size. The stem made a great stealing handle. I would be ashamed, but it was like maybe we were meant to be together.

I bestowed upon this beautiful pumpkin the name "Pumpkin Joe" and vowed to make it the best jack-o-lantern, ever.

Unfortunately, my mother had never allowed me to carve a pumpkin. She's an art teacher and somewhat anal about things and she wanted her jack-o-lanterns to be perfect. Of course she used the "I don't want you to cut yourself" excuse.

In any case, though I had never carved a pumpkin, I was determined to do it right. After hours of designing his face and transferring that into the hard rind of Pumpkin Joe, "Jack-O-Lantern Joe" was born on the thirtieth day of October, 1998.

Here he is. My beautiful, beautiful Jack-O-Lantern Joe.

Now . . . I'm not saying he's the most beautiful jack-o-lantern ever created, but I was pretty proud of myself. We enjoyed how hilariously wasted he looked and on Halloween, had a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Which was funny until the rain put out the cigarette.

A couple of days after Halloween, we stepped outside to see that Jack-O-Lantern Joe looked a little funny.

In fact, it seemed Jack-O-Lantern Joe had an exciting Halloween, also. It appeared he had contracted herpes.

Yeah. I know. It's scary.

You can't really see it, but there was some sort of white fungus all around his mouth and he was all saggy.

So of course, we were worried, but more so, we were disgusted.

And so we watched Jack-O-Lantern Joe's descent into hell. We couldn't touch him. It was really scary to do so. He just rotted on the corner of our balcony.

One night, as my friends hung out inside, I snuck out and lit a Doritos bag on fire and placed it inside Jack-O-Lantern Joe.

I then yelled for help and as my friends poured outside, they all stopped in their tracks.

I started rambling about how Jack-O-Lantern Joe had spontaneously combusted. I'm not sure if I should admit that I hung out with people like this, but they believed it.

This is Jack-O-Lantern Joe in all his burning glory.

After that, Jack-O-Lantern Joe just got scarier and scarier, as you can see in these last two pictures.

Eventually, I got up enough courage to pick him up (with a spatula) and salute him as he dropped three stories into the bushes below.

Perhaps it was Karma. My punishment for stealing was just a brief time with Jack-O-Lantern Joe.

Or maybe it's a lesson in looking at the bright side of things. Anyone who reads this story can't be too sad about finding their jack-o-lantern smashed in the road on the first of November!

Still I Got to Stick to My Girls Like Glue

A couple of months ago, I was testing a product for AdaptiveBlue. The product works with Firefox so I should have known to close out the hundred or so tabs I was browsing.

Instead, I tried to go ahead and install. I encountered a malfunction right away.

I sent a message to Fraser via Skype. He tried to guide me through the start-up process but nothing seemed to work.

I see you with your head in your hands, John Doe! Yes, I know we ruins everything!

Anyway, somehow after a few restarts, everything worked perfectly. Since I was testing, the AdaptiveBlue crew was concerned and wanted to do some more investigating. Fraser was very sweet about asking me if I would be willing to share my system with them via Webex. As if it was really going to mess up my day. I was only worried about them seeing all my embarrassing array of tabs.

It's not like I was looking at porn or anything. I just look at things I'd rather people not know about. I saved my tabs to a new bookmark file so I could read through them later. And of course I messed up the netmeeting for awhile. Because that's how I roll.

But once we got it working, they looked through some of my stuff. "What tabs did you have open when you installed?"

I was mortified. They were going to find out about the real me!

They saw the tabs with Yo Gabba Gabba toys and the three tabs all about The Hills. I had a few tabs up about the Large Hadron Collider. I'm sure they were really impressed by the picture of my devil eyeball!

On Tuesday AdaptiveBlue released their newest poduct, Glue.

This browser add-on makes it easier to connect with friends around books, music, movies, restaurants, stocks, wine and more.
Glue automatically appears on Amazon, Last.fm, Netflix, Yahoo! Finance, Wine.com, Citysearch and hundreds of other popular sites to show friends who looked at the same thing and what they thought.

You may remember I mentioned using AdaptiveBlue's BlueOrganizer awhile back. Glue is much simpler to use and looks prettier.

It's also more social. I see you rolling your eyes! "Not another social network!"

I know. I'm rather burned out, too. But this really takes no effort. You download it, create a tiny profile, and it really does the rest for you.

You participate simply by visiting pages. As you browse Glue automatically remembers the last 20 things you visit. In addition Glue gives you two simple ways to express your attitude - Like button and 2Cents box. Whenever you click the Like button your friends will see that you liked this book or music album or movie, regardless on which sites you use. The 2Cents box lets you add a playful comment so that you can let your friends know what you thought.

Glue is incredibly simple to use and takes no web-savvy whatsoever. It works with other social applications, like Twitter and del.icio.us.

If you're using Firefox (and seriously, if you're not, you should. You can do so much more with it than IE), definitely give Glue a try. It's really nifty and I've enjoyed using it.

I'm glad I didn't manage to break it for good in testing!

You Still Matter to Me

Dear Everyone Who Thinks They Will Vote for Obama,

Now is not the time to sit back and relax. You may think "He's so far ahead in the polls. It doesn't matter if I vote."

How many people have to make that same decision before McCain ends up winning?

Don't be lazy. Don't think you don't matter. Please. Vote.

Heart,
Aunt Bee

Cracking Jokes and Drinking Liquor

This weekend, I headed up north to go to the OU vs KSU football game.

It was a great day. Not just because OU won, but because I had a good time with my family.

Doug and Kathy came up, of course. But we were all surprised to see my cousins Jill and Jeremy show up.

"So what's up?" Jill asked me. "I haven't seen you in a long time!"

"Yeah, this is about the time of year when we'll actually see each other." We all live in Kansas, but for some reason, we never hang out except at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

But just like with everyone else I'd like to hang out with, it's hard to sync up. Everyone's really busy!

I really would like to hang out with Jill and Jeremy more often, though. They make me laugh more than just about anyone else in the world. We seem to really understand each other. I guess it's a family thing.

Which is why I wish they were at the Country Club later that night. I think only our family would understand what was happening when Kathy handed David a birthday card and BJ intercepted.

BJ asked for a pen and those of us paying attention started laughing. We knew just what he was doing. Instead of buying David a card, BJ was just going to sign his name to Doug and Kathy's.

Soon the card made its way around the table. Someone even threw in a dollar bill.

It was probably the greatest birthday card David ever received.

Another Bad Taste to This Show

"I have a couple of questions for you."

These are the first words I hear out of my brother's mouth when he called the other day. I'm always afraid when he calls for a reason. Not that he's ever the one to deliver any bad news to me, but there's a first time for everything!

"Whaaat?"

"I need help with this movie thing."

He and T-Biscuit had signed up for one of the mailed-to-your-house movie rental companies. I've used Netflix for years, so he figured I'd know what to do.

"We got our first movies the other day."

"Oh yeah? What did you get?"

"Um. Prom Night."

"HAHAHAHA!"

I know. It was right up there with I Know Who Killed Me."

"Must have been awesome. What else did you get?"

"Um . . . 2010: A Space Odyssey."

Insane taste must run in the family.

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

When I was in San Francisco, I watched a guy fly down a mountainous street on crutches. I thought that was cool. This is cooler.

And Feel the Changes Already Beginning

Thursday was a big day for Jacque. She registered to vote for the first time.

Jacque hadn't registered earlier because she didn't want to be called to jury duty. This election has become the most important choice our generation has ever been asked to vote for, so Jacque is willing to take the risk.

I am really proud of her because I think voting is important. Even if you're not "into" politics, you should vote.

I feel it's especially important for minorities and women to vote. People my age tend to forget, because we weren't a part of it, but people had to struggle to give us the right to vote. We can't take that for granted. When I vote, I'm paying tribute to Susan B. Anthony, Alice Paul, Lucy Stone and all the other men and women who fought so that I could sign my name to that registration card.

I'm proud because of the example she's setting for Evan. She's showing him that she cares about his future. She's giving him a sense of civic duty. He should eat his dinner because there are starving kids in Africa. He should vote because those same people are dying to have the same choice.

Voting is the centerpiece of a democracy. Your vote is important. It's frustrating in Kansas, because my liberal votes are most always quashed by the huge amount of conservative votes. But that doesn't mean I should give up. My vote is telling my government that I'm interested. I care. I have a voice.

Now it's your turn. Use your voice.

Will You Meet Me in the Middle?

"If Kenley wins Project Runway, I'm going to vomit. Really. Like so hard and projectile, you'll see it in San Francisco."

"Me, too. Maybe our vomit will collide over Utah."

After checking MeetWays, I can see it totally would!

Good calculation!

Gimme That

Christmas is coming up soon.

OH yes I know, it's well over two months away. We haven't even gotten through Halloween blah blah blah. But I've got most of my shopping done already!

That's right! Your presents have been purchased and I'm buying a lot of "green" things this year. Don't you groan at me! They're cool!

Ingrates.

Anyway, I'm sure all this talk of Christmas has you thinking "Hmm . . . what can I get Aunt Bee for Christmas?"

Well, let me tell you! I need this.

The RS-2 is like an escape pod from your camera bag. It has a spot for your ID or business cards, a cell phone/radio holder, a spare-battery pocket, and room for two CF cards. The quick-release sizing adjustment, located on the front, makes the strap easy to put on and take off, while also allowing full adjustment to fit your frame.

My current strap is uncomfortable. And I have never felt comfortable wearing any strap around my neck. I've tried to wear them cross-chest, but they just look wrong.

This however, looks brilliant!

So, I need it. Christmas is coming up. Actually, Halloween is much sooner if you were looking for a reason to buy me a present!

Tastes Like Cottage Cheese

Dear Everyone,

If your cottage cheese bucket tells you to use by a certain date, please follow those instructions.

I know. It may only be one day past that date. And you probably haven't even cracked the seal yet.

But please, learn from my mistakes. Don't think it's okay. Because it's not. And you will be gargling for ten minutes and fighting vomit.

Enjoy your Columbus Day!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

ps--The video above doesn't have anything to do with cottage cheese or vomit. It does, however, show you just how annoying I was on Evan's birthday. By watching this, you will feel just a tiny bit of the agony I felt while gargling rancid cottage cheese out of my mouth.

Some People Like to Hug

So when I watch the debates, I don't just watch them.

I'm glued to the television as well as my computer and my phone. I'm constantly reloading about three websites to read their liveblogging of the debates. And I'm receiving Twitter updates. I'm also sending my own observations out by Twitter (as can be seen to the right under "UPDATE").

Ana Marie Cox is usually my favorite:

McCain wants to nationalize every single piece of bad debt in the country. But not health care.

Also? How did the internet come to ask questions? Perhaps the Google is more sophisticated than I thought...

But the winner tonight was Jon Armstrong:

Will anybody from the internet be asking either candidate about any number of girls and any number of cups?

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

If you don't watch this Raw, I will punch you in the face.

viakottke

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

L.O.Freaking.L!

Go Gadget Go!

In a get-to-know-your-team meeting the other day, I was asked "What is one thing you can't live without?"

It won't surprise most of you to know I answered "My mobile phone."

I used the day I left for San Francisco as an example.

I woke up to my alarm. I then checked my email and flight status. I watched the news while I ate my cereal. While showering, I listened to mp3s.

I videoed myself on the moving walkway. On the plane, I played games while Raw slept. When we landed, I took a picture and sent that to friends and a text message to tell the world we made it.

I called Michael to let him know we were off the train and used a map to guide us to his office.

I did all of this using my phone.

If only it cooked breakfast!

Just Be! Just Be cool!

When I was in high school, I was on the debate team.

Quit laughing! I was awesome! Regional champs, yo!

Anyway, when I was the only girl in a room full of boys, things were weird. A girl really has to watch herself in a time like that.

It's really easy for the people watching to see you talking over people and think "Wow. What a bitch!"

Sure, you might be playing the same game the boys are playing, but nobody seems to see that when they're judging you.

On the other hand, if you know how to work it right, you can make it look like the boys are big bullies. "Why are those mean nasty boys being so mean?"

The debate is starting soon. Biden needs to keep that kind of stuff in mind tonight. Not that it's a room full of boys, but Palin is certainly going to bring the "bulldog." It would be easy to try to jump all over that.

Be polite! Don't be snarky! And for God's sake, don't roll your eyes!

The debate starts in half an hour! Get the popcorn ready!

UPDATE 8:55 Okay. That was like the tenth "maverick." You can roll your eyes now, Joe.

Have a Heart and Make Me Moo

Hey Michael!

Guess what we're doing next time I come to San Francisco!

One Month in Corral for Disorderly Woman.

You know. Minus the jail stuff.