Are You Drowning Your Fears?

I was going to write something here but I made the mistake of looking at my insurance claims first.

There goes the good blood pressure.

And Everybody Tries to Keep in Touch Through the Radio

So much for June!

I left you with a bit of a cliffhanger and I want to thank everyone for their good wishes. I'm alive . . . but crankier.

So I've always had this issue that I thought was normal but apparently isn't. When I eat something sour, I will often have a sharp pain in my jaw. In the last few years, sometimes I'd get the pain even if what I had in my mouth wasn't sour or salty.

When I was sick a few weeks ago, I had that pain and my face even swelled a bit on the left side. I thought it was just a swollen lymph node or something, due to the sickness.

On the night of Thursday, June 11, the pain came back and my face started swelling a lot. The left side of my face was noticeably larger and really tender to the touch. I did some looking around the internet and found Parotitis. I diagnosed myself and hoped it would go away overnight.

I woke up the next day, still a little swollen and sore, but much better. I went to work and I know I probably helped it along by messing with it, but my face got worse. It hurt to eat, so I ate half a piece of wedding shower cake mid-morning.

The people who noticed my face were concerned. I told them I had already diagnosed myself, but they were skeptical.

"With what? WebMD?"

No way! I hate WebMD. Okay, so it helped me diagnose my mother's shingles but other than that, it usually all comes down to "You have a tumor."

Since Friday the 12th was Sadie's birthday, I had planned on spending the evening with her and showering her with presents. I thought I'd bear with the face for another night and if it was still bad on Saturday, I'd go to the doctor.

But then I got to thinking . . . what if I was wrong about my diagnosis? What if it was the mumps?

I called Raw and let her know I probably wouldn't be showing up to the party and called poor Doll. As soon as she saw my face, she laughed at me. She then threw me in the car and ordered me to a doctor. We went to a Take Care Health Clinic at a nearby Walgreen's. It was surprisingly awesome and I totally recommend going for any quick & easy medical needs.

They thought I had the mumps and were quite adamant that I get to a hospital ASAP. There was no real treatment, but it would have to be reported.

I ended up at Wesley's E.R., which is totally not like the emergency rooms you see on television. The triage nurse was pretty horrified by my face and semi-quarantined me before calling someone down to take a look. If it was mumps, they couldn't just let me sit in the waiting room.

Then she threw the blood pressure cuff on my arm and started it up. She started talking. Telling me all these horrifying stories about her son's face and the pain he was in. The machine didn't work and she kept trying to read my blood pressure on the same arm. Six times. All while telling me to go to my happy place and talk talk talking and wow it's crowded in here and oh man the computer went down . . .

It was really not the best situation for a good blood pressure reading. When she still couldn't get a reading, she worked the other arm. Five times. I think you can see where this is going.

When she finally settled on a reading, my pressure was sky high. Like why-are-you-not-collapsed-on-the-floor-in-the-middle-of-a-stroke high.

Needless to say, there was concern. But not enough concern to make me wait any less than one hour for a doctor.

The nurse approached me from my "good side" and when we went behind my curtain she asked "So what brings you in?"

"Well, I have this face."

She turned and looked. "Oh. Oh wow! Woah!"

The swelling had worsened.

My doctor came in and surprised me with his um . . . gregarious ways. Gregarious is a good word to describe him. He's a big guy with a crazy beard. He's an intern, but an intern just cocky enough that I thought he might know what he was talking about. Especially when he said "It looks like--and this is pretty cool because I've never seen this--Parotitis."

Yes. Once again Dr. Bee is right.

Between the swelling and the high blood pressure, the doctor thought it necessary for me to stay the night in the hospital.

One night and a new set of doctors turned into two nights. Two miserable nights.

The doctors were pretty sure I had one of a few different diseases/disorders. Both my blood pressure and pulse were high. Not as high as the triage nurse made it, but high nonetheless.

Apparently this is abnormal. Usually, if someone has high blood pressure, the pulse is slow, and vice versa. I guess I live it hard and fast.

They pumped me full of antibiotics and fluid. Unfortunately, they could not test for the reason my heart is beating so crazy because the infection in my face would throw off the results. Tomorrow, I'm going in to see the doctor and decide what's next.

That's really all I know for now. I have things to tell you, but boy did this turn out to be long-winded already! So the stories of Percocet and my horrific roommate will have to wait.

Another cliffhanger!

You and I and a Love so Tender

Dear Sadie,

I know! Late again!

But it's not because I don't love you or think you're gorgeous. Just look at you!

Your smile, your eyes, your adorable dimples! You've only gotten more beautiful this year.

And your laugh. It kills me. It always makes me want to tickle you more and more.

And I want to tell you all about it, but your Poor Old Aunt Bee is in the hospital. And I missed your party because of it. And I'm really really sad about that.

But I'll make it up to you. We'll celebrate. Just think of this as me teaching you my ancient secret of extending your birthday way past the actual date!

Just as soon as they let me out of this boring place, I'll make it up to you.

But for now, I've got to stay here to make sure I'm healthy enough to watch you grow up into the fun and beautiful person I know you'll be.

Happy Belated!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

It Got Filled with too Much Crap

I'm pretty sure Raw always has her thinking cap on.

Me: I just spent the last of my twenty dollars in quarters and I'm still not done with laundry.

Raw: Time to start hand-washing in the bathroom!

Me: Haha! A little difficult with towels.

Raw: Throw in the cat and shut the curtain! That will work for an agitator!

The Clue Just Came to You

I haven't been home during the weekdays for a long time. So when I was sick last week, I noticed several things.

Most notably, the hot hippie dudes that have moved in!

Where did they come from? When did they show up? I guess maybe in the early mornings, when I leave for work, they're still sleeping. And when I make it home, they're out playing music for crowds of five.

Saturday, I did laundry all day. It was annoying.

When I do laundry, I'm always careful to leave washers and dryers open for anyone else. Because I hate it when I get down to the laundry room and they're all full of the same person's crap.

So all morning I was rotating everything just perfectly so there was room for other people. And of course one of those people came in and scared the crap out of me. A tiny little rabbit could come into that room all fuzzy and sweet and I would jump out of my skin. I'm jumpy in that room.

The man that came in wasn't scary. But he wasn't friendly, either. No response to my neighborly "Hello."

The next time I went down, there was someone already there. And my clothes were stacked on a dryer.

"Hello," I said to the woman who was shoving her clothes into the dryer I had been using. She was the kind of lady I'm pretty sure could beat me up.

I grabbed my clothes off the dryer and put them on a washer for the time being. At first I felt guilty because maybe I'd been hogging the laundry room. And then I felt panicky. What was I going to do with the wet clothes in the washer?

"Are those your clothes?"

"Yes! I'm sorry!"

"I was in a hurry."

And then I noticed one of the dryers just sitting there empty. Curious . . .

And my clothes were folded. Even the underwear. Curiouser . . .

"Nice clothes," she said. And winked.

Why couldn't it have been one of the hot hippie guys touching my stuff?

Oh that's right. They don't wear clean clothes.

"Your painting certainly had color and confusion at times. All the small dots and sweeps of the brush were each and every day of your life.... Maybe my dad wasn't even aware of what he painted because he was so close to it. Maybe he had no idea how it was all going to work out. But for sure, he believed in his art. He believed in the effort and the joy of his work. He loved the feel of the brush in his hand and the paint on canvas, and he kept painting because he had faith and because he loved it.
"As I look out on you today -- all of you, in many colors -- I see all the brush stokes. I see all the dots. I see all the people, the color, the canvas of my dad's life.
"I can stand back from it and I can see the plan. I can see the whole picture. He really did paint an incredible masterpiece, and it's you. It's all of you. You are my dad's living masterpiece."

The Wichita Eagle

You Know I'm Gonna Do It

I seriously think I might die from laughter if I watch this video one more time.

Well You're Drowining In It Too

I know this site has been totally dead this year. I truly apologize.

It seems I'm suffering a bit of writers' block lately. I can't seem to pinpoint the one reason.

I really have been working a lot. And hard! So when I come home, I don't really feel like sitting in front of the computer and thinking.

There's also a lot happening around me. These are things I'd like to write about but they're not my stories to tell. It's just really difficult for me to come up with something else when all this is right at the front of my mind.

But I'm going to try harder this month. And the video is a bit of what I've been doing and not writing about. So we'll just call that catching you up on the last month.

The Jaded Ones Will Wither

Six.

That's right, six. Six posts in May. How embarrassing.

I intended to write this post all about how June was going to be a different story. I was ready to promise a ton of long, interesting content.

But then I started out the month sick. So sick that I went to WalMart, but only because it was closest. So sick that I bought all this liquid because I'm afraid of dehydration.

So sick that I'm thinking about having a bidet delivered. My poor bum.