When I was a senior in high school, I was chosen to be a D.A.R.E. Role Model.
Yeah, I know. Me? A role model? Insane, huh?
Each fifth grade class had four role models. We showed up twice to hang out with the kids.
We thought it was great, because we got to have recess and miss pretty much a whole day of classes. The fifth graders liked it for about the same reasons.
When we arrived, we had to introduce and tell a little bit about ourselves. Then the kiddos got to ask us questions.
They started out pretty typical.
"I saw you singing a solo at That's Entertainment, Allison. Were you scared?"
"Luke, why did you decide to play cello instead of violin?"
"Hey Scott! When you play basketball, how do you know when to jump for the rebound?"
But there's the one little twerp right in the middle of the class. He's whispering to his buddies and has this certain gleam in his eye. When it's his turn for a question, he grins and asks "Have you ever done any drugs?"
We had to go down the line to answer that one. Allison said "No." Luke said "Of course not!" and Scott said "Never."
It came time for me to answer and I replied "Oh yeah, all the time!"
The room froze . The adults in the room looked at me in horror, my fellow classmates looked at me as if to say "You have? And if so, why the hell are you telling little kids you do?"
The kiddos looked excited as if they were going to hear some good stories.
I didn't wait long before I said "I take stuff like Tylenol, Dimetapp, Ibuprofin . . ."
The kids laughed while everyone else breathed a gigantic sigh of relief. I was the hit of the day!
I certainly couldn't lie to the poor children!
*This is a line from the Huey Lewis and the News song, "I Want a New Drug." When I was little, I thought he was singing "I want a new truck"