It has come to my attention that I am an idiot. I know you've all been aware of it for some time, but things come slowly when you're an idiot.
In the wee hours of Independence Day, I received a phone call from Casey. He talked for several minutes about blowing things up with fireworks.
Raw had recently purchased a camera phone and while Casey was chatting, they decided to try it out. "We're going to send you a picture. I'll call you right back."
So I patiently and sleepily waited for the picture to arrive. Once I saw it, I had to stare at it for awhile.
At first, I had no clue what it was. Then it started dawning on me when I saw the initials "EPT." They had just sent me a picture of two pregnancy tests!!!
I told you it takes us idiots longer!
What a way to find out your best friends are having a baby, huh? Damn technology!
When Casey called back, I answered with "What the hell is that???"
I was in disbelief. Raw and Casey always said they would never have children. It's not that they hate them or anything. The parent thing just didn't appeal to them.
Parents on both sides had been begging for grandchildren. So when they sent me the picture, I thought it was just some kind of joke.
"It's not a joke! It's not even funny! Why would we joke about it?"
And yet, still, it was hard for me to believe. For weeks, I was still only about 99% sure Raw was pregnant.
We talked for a long time that night. About how crazy and scary the situation was. What a surprise. How happy their parents would be.
"It's all their fault! We're not going to tell them! We won't give them the satisfaction!"
Like you can just hide Raw's expanding belly for nine months. As if they could raise a kid in secret.
So I've been keeping this relatively secret for awhile. Just in case they've forgotten to tell someone.
But, idiot that I am, I've been taking pictures of Raw's growing belly.
The secret's out. That's no beer belly, it's a baby!