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I'm a nerd in so many ways, it hurts.

I'm such a nerd, I even have an arch nerd enemy! Well, I did. Until I defeated her! To protect her defeated identity, let's just call her "Weirdo."

When I was in high school, I was in debate. I did not have a fabulous flair. My speaking style was pretty crappy, but I could punch holes in your arguments. I'm still bad at losing arguments.

In my second year, this girl suddenly started showing up at tournaments. Her name was Weirdo and she spoke too slowly and had terrible arguments. And she was winning.

Weirdo and I were pretty much opposites. She had a really brown-nosey, calm delivery. Mine was fast and mean.

Weirdo annoyed the crap out of everyone who had to face her. Especially me. Especially after she beat me. She beat me with that??

In the summer between my junior and senior years, I attended the Kansas Regents Honors Academy. Students from all over the state attended this month-long academy. I was the only person represented that year from my school and I knew very few people there.

But guess who one of the few I did know was. That's right . . . Weirdo.

Weirdo instantly attempted friendliness, but I just couldn't get around her fake demeanor. What was worse, we ended up in the same secondary course. Ugh.

Eventually, for this course, we had to give a speech. Weirdo actually asked me if I wanted help on mine. "I heard you were having trouble deciding on what to give your speech. Mine is all done. Do you need some help?

Now, you may think she was trying to be sweet and helpful. But if you could only see her face! Smug and condescending!

I'd show her!

I wrote up the best speech ever. I did it on the subject of streaking. You know, running around naked? I even had visual aides. God, it was beautiful!

Weirdo had to give her speech first and it was terrible! I'm not saying that out of spite, either. I've heard her give a decent speech. This had to be her worst work, ever.

Soon, it was my turn and I was great. I don't mean to brag, but really it was my best work, ever. I had everyone, including our beloved professor, laughing their heads off. You know I'm all about the laugh.

A few days later, a friend and I were walking past the laundry room and Weirdo was sitting there with her boyfriend.

"Oh hi! How have you been? I haven't seen you for a few days! What did you get on your speech?"

Out of fifty points, I had scored a forty-nine. But it's not something I really wanted to announce to everyone. In fact, I hadn't even told the friend I was with at the time.

I hesitated and Weirdo pressed on, "C'mon! I know you got your score. I got a forty-five! I was shocked! I thought I did bad. Yours couldn't have been much lower than mine."

You think I'm joking but she actually said these things!

"Yeah, I was surprised with my score, too. I got a forty-nine."

Her face fell and her boyfriend said "I knew you'd get a good score! You totally deserved it!"

Weirdo, quite stiffly, agreed. "Yeah. It was funny. Good job."

The next year, in debate, she faltered a lot during the two matches in which we debated against each other. I beat her both times.

Victory is totally sweet!

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