I've learned more than I ever thought I wanted to know about babies in the last few months.
They like to bounce, rock and scream for absolutely no reason. They can't eat strawberries, peanut butter, eggs or Pop Rocks.
Mostly, I've learned that babies like attention. Lots and lots of attention.
No matter how smart I get about them, I can never seem to do enough. Because no matter what you do, the baby always wants his momma.
The first two times I hung out with Evan, he was really quiet. Every other time, he has decided I'm some sort of evil crazy person and will scream until the Magic Momma calms him down.
Now, he may be right about the crazy, and maybe even the evil, but when he's older, he will love me. I plan to spoil the crap outta the kid. Why can't he understand that now?
I've begun to understand that it's not just me. He seems to scream at everyone who isn't Jacque.
What is it about her? There's something about the way she gets him in the crook of her arm. It's one thing I haven't learned.
I've tried and tried, but my arm just never seems to fit him right.
Well, tonight, ladies and gents, I found my crook!
Mr. Mohawk was uber tired tonight, but knew there was a party going on, so he wouldn't sleep. Jacque would get him in her crook, rock for awhile, then put him in bed.
It would only be about five minutes before we would hear some very insistent screaming through the baby monitor.
After about twenty trips to his bedroom, I convinced Jacque maybe I should try. I figured maybe he would decide she had given up and he'd think "Screw it. If she's not coming, I'll just go to sleep."
I peeked over the crib to see the red-faced goober give me a look as if to say "You ain't my momma!"
But when the song was over, the anger started bubblin' again.
I grabbed a pacifier, shoved it into his mouth and forced him to lie on my arm.
Suddenly, he cuddled up. It was my crook!
And that was it! Dude didn't wake up the rest of the time I was there.
This Aunt Bee crap is easy!