And I Rock Well

Evan, Through a Toy

I like monkeys.

In high school, my friend Jacob started drawing a little stick-figure monkey. His name was AFUBU!

AFUBU gained quite a lot of notoriety. In fact, there was soon an AFUBU Fan Club.

There were more members in attendance at the AFUBU Fan Club meetings than at any of the sanctioned school club meetings I attended.

For the first meeting, we took up several rows at our local movie theatre. We were there to watch the film Jumanji.

The only reason we decided to go to that particular film is monkeys. We saw monkeys in the trailer and decided we had to go.

Intoxicated by nothing more than the thrill of seeing a monkey on the big screen, we were a rambunctious group. Each time a monkey showed up in the movie, we would stand and make loud monkey noises, which as you may have heard, I'm quite awesome at making.

At another meeting, we gathered at my friend Ashlee's house. We had a giant bowl of banana pudding, which no one ever ended up eating, because a battle began.

See, there were a group of jealous people. They were jealous of the happiness AFUBU brought us. They were so bitter, they created the Anti-AFUBU Club.

Their club had gathered the same night and began threatening us. This was something we weren't going to take. They were going to share in our light and love and happiness, whether they wanted to or not!

Off we went to Pesha's to gather secret weapons. Her mother, rightfully worried since the last time Pesha and I had gone out of city limits in the same vehicle, said vehicle was rolled, started in with the questioning.

"So what is it you're doing?"

"Um . . . getting revenge on the . . . Oh it's too hard to explain!"

"Pesha. This is the second and last car we are buying you."

I hopped in the backseat, and Jacob navigated from the suicide seat. As our caravan approached the enemy headquarters, Jacob pulled out a lighter and aimed our weapon: a roman candle.

The chaos was beautiful. Water balloons. Shaving cream.

Never will I forget the image of Kirby leaping for his life over balls of fire.

And still today, I can hear Jacob's evil menacing cackle as he continued to aim at him after Kirby had fallen to the ground.

I love monkeys.

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