I Think My Head is Gonna Explode

I know you're all dying to find out how the relish tray turned out.

I walked out of the door with six different dips; spinach and herb, asiago, cilantro, bacon, fiesta and key lime. I also had flour tortilla chips, pretzels graham crackers and graham pretzels.

What I was most proud of, though, was my beautiful vegetable platter. There were baby carrots, green onions, cherry tomatoes, celery, peppers in three colors, broccoli and the aforementioned purple cauliflower.

I don't even like most of those vegetables but I painstakingly cut each piece and arranged it carefully on a tray. I was amazed by my awesomness.

I was intending to hitch a ride with BJ and was told the Nitro would be pulling out at nine. He, as usual, made a big deal about how if I showed up even one minute late, he'd be gone. I didn't sleep well. I kept waking up, worried that my alarm wouldn't go off.

That alarm was going off extra early, too. I wanted to make sure I had time to properly prepare the vegetables. I'm not much of a morning person anyway, but with the cold temperature and lack of decent sleep, I was cranky.

The vegetables took longer than I had expected so I was running later than I had scheduled. But even behind schedule, I had the key in the lock of my car door at eight thirty which gave me plenty of time to make it to BJ's.

I lifted the handle on the door and pulled. The door would not open. I tugged some more. Still nothing. I tried the passenger side door and again, no luck.

See, these Buicks . . . there's something about the doors. When it gets cold, they don't want to open. It wasn't even that cold!

I pulled and pulled and then I heard a crack and knew without looking what had happened.

Engage complete meltdown.