12.16.2007

Like a Chasm in the Night

White December

Dear Drivers of Wichita,

I'm getting tired of having to write you these letters. Please can you learn to drive so I don't have to?

We live in Kansas. We get all kinds of weather here. This doesn't mean you have to turn into a scaredy cat. Nor do you have to turn into some crazy kamikaze driver, either.

But when there's just a tiny bit of moisture on the road, you don't have to drive twenty miles per hour down the flyover. Really. It's okay. There is a middle ground!

It's called careful, yet confident.

And you know, even if you really feel like you have to drive that slow, can you stay in the right lane? That would help out the drivers like me.

But do you know what would really help? It would help if you would turn your headlights on.

Yes I'm writing directly to you dumbass! You can't go speeding down Kellogg, in the dark, while it's snowing with no lights on!

I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!

Please take this into consideration. I'm not ready to die yet.

Thank you. Enjoy your snowmen.

Heart,
Aunt Bee

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