Dear Crazy Guy Crossing the Street in the Dark,
Look, we both had plenty of time. I passed you when you were barely in the other lane. What were you doing crossing the street in the dark without a crosswalk into traffic? You didn't even start jogging until I approached. I really don't understand why you yelled at me and then raised your arms as though I had done something wrong. And why did you continue to yell and gesture madly as I was well down the street? You're freaking me out. A few years ago, I went to the bar with a couple of my friends. Tonya decided she really needed a McDonald's cheeseburger right now! So since I was the sober one, I drove her car down the way to the nearest McDonald's. I saw a guy standing in the road down the way. He wasn't moving. He was just standing there. I wasn't really sure what to do, so I slowed, but kept going and stayed in the other lane. Just as I neared, he leapt forward and slammed his hands on the car and screamed at me. I really don't know what that was about. He wasn't hurt. He was just screaming at me. The more I think about it, the more I think you're the same guy. Are you stalking me? Are you trying to get me to kill you? That's not cool, dude. Please stop. You're freaking me out. Heart,
Aunt Bee
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