Into the Mercy Seat I Climb


Last night, Raw and I went to the theatre.

She had a coupon, so she bought the tickets. "Two for the balcony, please."

We were really early for the movie, so we went upstairs to have a drink or two at the bar. We were the only ones there at that point, so the bartender was very chatty. "What movie are you seeing?"

"Pineapple Express."

"Oh awesome! I haven't seen it, but I've heard it's hilarious! I just caught a couple of minutes and I almost pissed myself!"

Other customers came to the bar, so he walked away to serve some drinks. Raw and I contemplated buying some Depends.

He came back, still interested in us. And by interested, I mean, he was trying to figure out how much money he was going to squeeze out of us. "Are you watching it in the balcony?"

The balcony seats are different. The tickets are typically purchased as a pair, since you sit in a loveseat with a small table in front of you. Servers bring food and drink to you at the touch of a button and you even have your own seat warmer.

We were, as mentioned, sitting in the balcony and decided it was time to head in. We tabbed out and gave our tickets to the usher.

"These tickets are actually for downstairs."

My brain was already working on what crappy seats we would get since we had been hanging out in the bar, assuming we had decent balcony seats. Raw's brain went straight to outrage. "We asked for balcony!"

The usher took pity upon us. "Well, if you don't care where you sit, we can fit you in."

He led us into the far dark corner. Crappy seats, sure, but at least we didn't have to try to search for something decent downstairs!

We thanked the kid profusely and made ourselves comfortable. We griped about the stupid ticket kid and gushed about how awesome the usher was to get us in, anyway.

Not that it really seemed to be a big deal. The show was starting in five minutes and there were more empty seats than full. Which is why it seemed really strange when a couple came and sat right beside us.

"We're mad at you!"

Raw and I glanced at each other. Do we know these people?

"You're sitting in our seats!"

Who would actually want these seats? We felt bad, since apparently we weren't supposed to really be there anyway. "We can move!"

"No that's okay. These are fine." And then she told us about how we were sitting in the seats they sat in when they first came to the theatre. "So they became our seats!"

"Seriously, we can move!" Raw was thinking the same thing I was. She and I could go to the other far corner. The one over there, that was empty. The one you'd think a person would naturally pick if they really wanted to be in one far corner and found out it was occupied. Why would they rather sit right next to someone?

"No. Really it's fine."

But it didn't seem to be fine. The man told us the whole story about how they weren't able to get the seat they wanted and she looked around the theatre. "It doesn't look that full!"

I was definitely feeling more annoyed than sympathetic at this point. It's a crappy seat, people! How can we get them to quit griping to us about it?

"Well, there seems to be enough room that we all four could share the seat!" I offered.

That did it!

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