Come to the Ogre Sight

*Names have been changed to protect the jerkfaces.

I seriously just can't believe the people I deal with every day.

Today, a woman walked into the building and started talking to me. "I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Helga Gooch*."

Helga comes in often, so I knew her. "Of course I remember. How are you?"

"Well, I bought a Malibu from you awhile back. There's some kinda poppin' sound in it so I want to get an estimate."

At this point in the conversation, I am totally confused. Did she get a car loan from us? And she expects us to fix it? What is she talking about??? All I can stammer is "Um . . . you need an estimate?"

"Yeah," she replies. "I wanna know how much it's gonna cost me to get you to fix it."

I'm freaking out, trying to figure out what I'm going to say to her when I look up and realize she's got an earbud in her ear and she's talking on her mobile phone!!!

The whole fact that she's talking on her phone and how it totally annoys me when people do that is a whole other story. But that gives you an idea of how annoyed I was with this person already.

Oh, man. She did mean the green one!

When she's finally done talking on her mobile, she looks at me and says "I'm sure you've been told this twenty times, but you look like that girl from Shrek."

. . . ? . . .

"You know! Shrek's girlfriend, Fiona! Not ugly green one, but when she's pretty!"

Are you kidding me??? I don't know if she's trying to insult me or compliment me! I really don't!

I had no idea how to respond to this comment. I finally came up with "Well, I certainly act like a cartoon character, that's for sure!"

I turned to look at Chris. Her face was red and her eyes had a look of "Did she really just say that???"

As soon as Helga walked out the door, Chris practically fell on the floor in hysterical laughter. Word got around and soon everyone was practically on the floor, laughing.

When Allie heard what Helga said, her response was much more positive. "I love that movie! Fiona is so pretty and she's a princess! That's awesome!"

Did I tell you how much I love the new kid, Allie?