If I'm Not Feeling Any Less Sour

Too Much?

I saw a bulletin on MySpace. There was a link to The Amazing Death Predictor.

I'm pretty sure you can figure out what it's all about. You give the predictor some information and it lets you know how you're going to die.

I decide to give it a try because look at all these fantastic deaths that were listed!

Jayden: At age 27 you will realize that you actually died three years earlier, and have been dreaming all the events since then.

Laura: At age 34 the artificial intelligence software you programmed becomes self aware and devours you. You will be saved to disk though, so no worries.

Kathryn Daye: At age 65 a statue will fall over and crush you while giving your acceptance speech for the position of Governor.

Stephanie: At age 75 a tiger will maul you. Don't ask why, but you will be in a Burmese jungle.

Casey: At age 48 you will die in a fiery golf-cart crash, alcohol will be involved.

After cancelling my trip to the Burmese jungles, I gave the predictor my information.

It didn't give me great news.

At age 37 you will die lonely and alone.
Man. Less than ten years left. I guess I better start living it up!

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