All I Wanted Was a Pepsi, Just One Pepsi

I don't even know what to say about this.

From KWCH:

35-year-old woman who apparently spent two years in her boyfriend's bathroom in Ness City had become stuck to the toilet seat.
Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said today that she was physically stuck to the toilet seat by her body, adding that it appeared her body fat had grown attached to the seat.

UPDATE: Now with videos!