The Clue Just Came to You

Evidence of Ill

I haven't been home during the weekdays for a long time. So when I was sick last week, I noticed several things.

Most notably, the hot hippie dudes that have moved in!

Where did they come from? When did they show up? I guess maybe in the early mornings, when I leave for work, they're still sleeping. And when I make it home, they're out playing music for crowds of five.

Saturday, I did laundry all day. It was annoying.

When I do laundry, I'm always careful to leave washers and dryers open for anyone else. Because I hate it when I get down to the laundry room and they're all full of the same person's crap.

So all morning I was rotating everything just perfectly so there was room for other people. And of course one of those people came in and scared the crap out of me. A tiny little rabbit could come into that room all fuzzy and sweet and I would jump out of my skin. I'm jumpy in that room.

The man that came in wasn't scary. But he wasn't friendly, either. No response to my neighborly "Hello."

The next time I went down, there was someone already there. And my clothes were stacked on a dryer.

"Hello," I said to the woman who was shoving her clothes into the dryer I had been using. She was the kind of lady I'm pretty sure could beat me up.

I grabbed my clothes off the dryer and put them on a washer for the time being. At first I felt guilty because maybe I'd been hogging the laundry room. And then I felt panicky. What was I going to do with the wet clothes in the washer?

"Are those your clothes?"

"Yes! I'm sorry!"

"I was in a hurry."

And then I noticed one of the dryers just sitting there empty. Curious . . .

And my clothes were folded. Even the underwear. Curiouser . . .

"Nice clothes," she said. And winked.

Why couldn't it have been one of the hot hippie guys touching my stuff?

Oh that's right. They don't wear clean clothes.

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