Without Even Trying

San Francisco

Oh yeah. Hi. Sorry about all that. I didn't die or anything. Just kinda . . . took a vacation, I guess?

I'm further from death than I was in June, anyway. I think they might be getting closer to figuring it out. I've donated a few hundred gallons of blood to the study. I also had to do a CT scan.

That was weird. "Take off your pants and we'll slide you in and out of this giant doughnut!"

Of course, that's after they stick a giant needle in you. No kidding! Giant! So giant that I noticed one of the doctors wiping up my blood on the floor.

"Oh wow! Am I like bleeding a lot?"

"Well . . . here's the thing. It's a really big needle, so it's kind of like trying to put a cap on a hose when it's on full blast."


So after a few times through the doughnut, it was time to get shot up with iodine. "Okay. We're going to go ahead and inject it. You're going to feel warm all over. Go ahead and put your hands up here."

I was prepared for the warm-all-over feeling. A couple people had already told me about it. So I put my hands on the top of the doughnut and waited for the feeling.

"Oh. I should also tell you that you're going to feel like you wet yourself. But don't worry. You didn't."

That's when I turned into a three year old. "STOP! I don't wanna!"

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