And I Almost Always Laugh, but That's not Really Funny

The List

Sometimes when I'm out, I try to write things down when I think things are funny. Then I'll remember to post about them later

I wrote a lot of things down Saturday night.

1. Scooping out the bowl was my thing!

We were discussing Raw's cousin and how he visits most weekends. We talked about how funny he was but Casey had a complaint.

"He always eats all the leftovers!"

"So do you, darling!"

"I know but scooping out the bowls used to be my thing!"

2. Wear your seatbelt! I love you!

Raw noticed Casey wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

"I don't wear seatbelts."

"Wear your seatbelt! People love you!"

"I hate wearing seatbelts!"

She must have really wanted him to be safe because she pulled out one of those rarely heard phrases:

"Wear your seatbelt! I love you!"

3. Raw is a dork for knorks

When it came time to eat, Raw was disappointed in her Asian noodle bowl. Casey was nice enough to trade meals. As she ate his porkchop, I heard them mumbling about something.

" . . . make it easier," I heard Raw say.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Casey summed it up quickly. "She's a dork for knorks."

4. Have you ever seen Love and a .45?

Raw and I were talking when Casey felt the strong urge to ask me a question. I wasn't paying attention to him and he got cranky. He huffed and puffed until he got my attention, as if my answer to his question was a matter of life and death.

"Have you ever seen Love and a .45?"


And then he started eating again. Raw and I looked at each other. We didn't know where that question had come from. Why did he ask it? Did he have more to say? Why was it so important a question?

"Did you want to talk about it?"


Yes. Our conversations are that interesting.

5. Checked the score on the toilet.

They don't have a television at Reba's so I was missing the Oklahoma football game. When I checked the score on my mobile, I was glad I was missing the game.

"I am not allowed to check the score anymore!"

Later, I excused myself to use the restroom.

Raw wasn't fooled. She added to my list.

6. I can shoot you if I want to.

I know that none of these seem funny anymore. But this one really doesn't. Mostly because I can't remember what it was about.

7. I just can't stop thinking about Yo Gabba Gabba!

Raw and I started singing the "Yummy in My Tummy" song. Who knows why. It probably started when we told Casey we ate his dessert when he was in the restroom.

Much later that night, Casey and I were conversing about something that was probably quite brilliant. I looked at Raw who was quiet and just kind of staring at nothing.

She looked up at me. "I just can't stop thinking about Yo Gabba Gabba!

8. Raw left me all alone.

I already told you that Raw called it quits earlier than Casey and I. This one wasn't so much about funny as it was about trying to get Raw to stay longer.

9. She ate all my meal.

After I finally guilted Casey into leaving the bar and sitting with me at my table, he saw number eight.

"She ate all my meal. I had to eat spaghetti with cilantro!"

Don't forget! We ate your pumpkin cheesecake, too!

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