Unreal

Congratulations, Sam!

I was very excited to hear you won the Heisman Trophy. I think Billy Sims was a little bit excited, too.

You Can Stay, You Can Go

Oh K-State . . .

Why would you bring Snyder back? He is old! His miracle days are over!

And what was this?

I couldn't even watch the whole thing! Who does he think he is? King Poobah? How me me me was that?

Oh I'm sorry. I guess he did talk about the family. The Kansas State family. The people who showed up back in 1987 and 1988. Those are the people who really care.

It's too bad you don't really care about them. I was at those games. My grandparents had season tickets and we used to be surrounded by the same fans for years. As K-State started winning games and prices went up, we started sitting by more and more total strangers.

And shut up about the equestrian team! My mom will start raving about how they got rid of swimming for horses!

Shining, Gleaming, Streaming, Flaxen, Waxen.

Speaking of Oklahoma football . . .

When we went to the OU vs KSU game last month, I was mesmerized by this guy's hair. The wind moved it very hypnotically.

Somehow my dad knew what I was up to. "You don't need to take a picture of it!"

I kept thinking it couldn't be real!

Today, while doing some browsing, I came across Flair Hair. Now I know that guy's secret!

Too Strong to Lose

For years, I've been a big fan of the defense.

I've sworn I would marry all the Oklahoma linebackers starting with Rocky Calmus. Then I fell in love with Teddy Lehman. And most recently, my heart was won by Rufus.

What can I say? I like a good tackle! And, like my father before me, I'm not a fan of the quarterback.

That all changed tonight!

Oklahoma's offense was beautiful tonight! DeMarco Murray blew my mind. Did you see him evading tackles?

Sam Bradford is one of the few quarterbacks I've actually liked. Tonight, he was a true leader. And he's only a sophomore!

But my defense was no slouch! When recovering a turnover, you'd think the offense was playing again. And their tackles were insane!

Okay. So the horse collar was pretty ridiculous. And they could have cut down on the jawing. But come on, who doesn't want to kick Carter's ass?

Honestly, I believe that I just watched the greatest team in college football win a game. I haven't seen anyone play that great this year.

Now if we can keep it up for Oklahoma State . . .

Or Maybe Just Happy

Dear Texas Tech,

At this moment, you are one of my favorite teams on the planet.

Your offense is creative and aggressive. Your defense isn't too shabby. But most important, you just beat Texas.

Oh boy I hate Texas and I wasn't too happy when you let them score a touchdown to take the lead. I didn't think you could take it back in a mere one and a half minutes. And when you had only eight seconds left, I was yelling "Just kick the field goal!!!"

I underestimated you. Brilliant game!

But your fans. Wow. They aren't the brightest, huh? Maybe you can explain the rules to them?

Congrats on the big win!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

And I Almost Always Laugh, but That's not Really Funny

Sometimes when I'm out, I try to write things down when I think things are funny. Then I'll remember to post about them later

I wrote a lot of things down Saturday night.

1. Scooping out the bowl was my thing!

We were discussing Raw's cousin and how he visits most weekends. We talked about how funny he was but Casey had a complaint.

"He always eats all the leftovers!"

"So do you, darling!"

"I know but scooping out the bowls used to be my thing!"

2. Wear your seatbelt! I love you!

Raw noticed Casey wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

"I don't wear seatbelts."

"Wear your seatbelt! People love you!"

"I hate wearing seatbelts!"

She must have really wanted him to be safe because she pulled out one of those rarely heard phrases:

"Wear your seatbelt! I love you!"

3. Raw is a dork for knorks

When it came time to eat, Raw was disappointed in her Asian noodle bowl. Casey was nice enough to trade meals. As she ate his porkchop, I heard them mumbling about something.

" . . . make it easier," I heard Raw say.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

Casey summed it up quickly. "She's a dork for knorks."

4. Have you ever seen Love and a .45?

Raw and I were talking when Casey felt the strong urge to ask me a question. I wasn't paying attention to him and he got cranky. He huffed and puffed until he got my attention, as if my answer to his question was a matter of life and death.

"Have you ever seen Love and a .45?"

"Yes."

And then he started eating again. Raw and I looked at each other. We didn't know where that question had come from. Why did he ask it? Did he have more to say? Why was it so important a question?

"Did you want to talk about it?"

"Nope."

Yes. Our conversations are that interesting.

5. Checked the score on the toilet.

They don't have a television at Reba's so I was missing the Oklahoma football game. When I checked the score on my mobile, I was glad I was missing the game.

"I am not allowed to check the score anymore!"

Later, I excused myself to use the restroom.

Raw wasn't fooled. She added to my list.

6. I can shoot you if I want to.

I know that none of these seem funny anymore. But this one really doesn't. Mostly because I can't remember what it was about.

7. I just can't stop thinking about Yo Gabba Gabba!

Raw and I started singing the "Yummy in My Tummy" song. Who knows why. It probably started when we told Casey we ate his dessert when he was in the restroom.

Much later that night, Casey and I were conversing about something that was probably quite brilliant. I looked at Raw who was quiet and just kind of staring at nothing.

She looked up at me. "I just can't stop thinking about Yo Gabba Gabba!

8. Raw left me all alone.

I already told you that Raw called it quits earlier than Casey and I. This one wasn't so much about funny as it was about trying to get Raw to stay longer.

9. She ate all my meal.

After I finally guilted Casey into leaving the bar and sitting with me at my table, he saw number eight.

"She ate all my meal. I had to eat spaghetti with cilantro!"

Don't forget! We ate your pumpkin cheesecake, too!

So Keep Your Distance It's Rubbing Off

You all know I'm a big Sooners fan. But my number two is KU.

Their football team is having quite a year. They're one of three undefeated teams in the top twenty five and as of today, are ranked number five on most polls.

While I've been very excited about their wins, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I keep telling everyone that they're really not that good of a team.

They're not! I saw them play KSU in person. Sure, they won, but it was really quite sloppy.

After watching KU crush Nebraska on Saturday, I'm prepared to take it all back. Their offense was unstoppable!

Of course, now I've gone and jinxed it. They won't win another game.

I Ain't Getting Through, but Listen

Let me tell you why I'm not excited about Florida winning the championship bowl game.

Well, there's several reasons actually:
1. I hate Florida.
2. Stupid word games.
3. All the whining.

It seems like every year about this time, someone is crying about how they didn't make it to the championship game and they deserved to play.

This year, Boise State is the only unbeaten team in I-A college football. And a lot of people, including Coach Zabransky, were complaining about not getting to play for number one.

"We went 13-0 and beat everyone on our schedule," Zabransky said. "We deserve a chance at the national title."

I'm sorry. I'm as much for the underdogs as anyone (except when they're playing my favorite team), but you've got to compare the schedules. Sorry. I can't help but feel teams like Texas, LSU and Michigan weigh heavier.

Not that I was necessarily rooting for The Ohio State. I don't like them, either.

But having them finish undefeated would have quieted all the questioning of the BCS selection methods.

Oh well. I guess all the college football junkies need something to talk about until next season.

But while we're on the subject of football whining, why does Notre Dame always get to play in a BCS bowl? But wasn't it awesome to see them get creamed?

Wrong Place Wrong Car

Saturday, BJ and I headed to Lawrence for the KU vs. KSU football game. Unlike last week, I left the purple at home and donned crimson and blue.

If you've ever been to KU's campus, you know that there is very little parking. When you have a record crowd of 51,821 people jamming themselves into Memorial Stadium, the little parking available might-as-well be non-existent!

I had decided it would be easiest to park at Raw and Casey's apartment complex. Sure, it was a good mile or so away, and walking back would be pretty much all uphill, but we wouldn't get stuck for hours just to get out of our parking place.

BJ was a little uneasy about the idea. He was afraid that without a parking permit, his vehicle would get towed. It took Casey and me about twenty minutes to convince him otherwise.

The game was pretty cool. I'll have more to tell you once the pictures decide to upload correctly.

We made it up the hill after the game and lo and behold . . . the car was gone!

No. It wasn't. But can you imagine what BJ's face would've looked like?

The next day, Raw called me.

"I just have to know something."

Am I the only one who thinks comments like that sound ominous?

"Did you have a note on your car when you left last night?"

"Noo . . .?"

"What does BJ drive?"

I tried to figure out why she was asking. I was figuring someone had complained about the big SUV in the lot.

"Is it black?"

"No. It's red. Did you put a note on the car?"

Raw giggled in her oh-man-I'm-so-embarassed way. "Yes! I wrote up a note about how you had to have a permit to park in this lot! 'Remove your vehicle before it is towed,' I wrote! I put it on the car that had a bunch of K-State stuff on it!"

We got a good laugh and then I called BJ immediately. He had about two chuckles before he said "She's even stupider than you! If that's possible!"

I'm Not No Whipping Boy for You

This weekend, I went to the KSU vs Texas football game in Manhattan.

I hate Texas. But they're pretty unbeatable when it comes to football. I was assuming this game wasn't going to be much of anything. KSU hasn't been playing too well this year. I was planning on leaving in the third quarter.

And with as much as it appeared KSU wanted to win, it also seemed like they were trying really hard to lose. Several times they gave Texas the ball within the ten-yard line.

But, by some miracle, KSU made some beautiful plays and won 45-42. It was probably the best game I have ever attended. If not the best game, certainly the best third quarter!

You can see the few pictures I took here. I was jumping up and down too much to get any good ones.

The worst part of the game was that my dad and I were right beside the Texas band. I hope I never hear "I've Been Workin' on the Railroad" ever again. And I have never ever heard so much cowbell in all my life.

That ends the love I have for this clip:

Ah. What am I talkin' about? I could never quit loving "More cowbell!"

And I Cannot Lie

Tonight, Nadia and I went to Ali's flag football game.

I did see Ali get hit in the FACE and then fall on his FACE. But for most of the game, our view was obstructed.