Sometimes I really love my apartment.

Sometimes I really love my apartment.
---mobile upload

Be Patient with Those Who Supply It

Oh wow. My little baby. My tiny little quiet guy. He was just this curly-haired little teddy bear and now he's legally a man.

And today, I get to watch that man get dressed in a silly robe and hat and cross a stage to receive his high school diploma.

Oh Bret, I wish I was a wiser person. I wish I could give you all he knowledge you need to go out in this world.

I want you to be happy. And safe. I want you to know love and success and hope. You don't have to be the best or wealthy. But be somebody. Do something.

Find what you want and work for it. Fight for it. Don't expect things to just happen. Trust me, I know that school can suck. There's always another page to read, another paper to write. But it's not all bad. There's teachers and classes and that moment of "Yes! I get it!" that makes it worth it.

And if you know what you want, and more school is the only way to get there, it's the best thing you can do for yourself.

I know you're thinking "What does she know?" Maybe Patton Oswalt said it better:

You have been given a harsh gift. It’s the same gift the graduating class of 1917, and 1938, and 1968 and now you guys got – the chance to enter adulthood when the world teeters on the rim of the sphincter of oblivion. You’re jumping into the deep end. You have no choice but to be exceptional.

I'm excited to see where your life takes you. Don't forget I'm always along for the ride!

Congratulations, Bret!

Too Late to Apologize

Jacque and I went out for a couple of drinks Saturday night.

We were perfectly content, sipping our drinks at our table when suddenly I was drenched. I realized someone had spilled their beer on me.

"Oh man. I'm sorry."

"Oh my gawd! You are so drunk! You totally spilled your beer on that girl!"

And then this giant douche takes the napkins on the table and pushes more beer off the table on onto me. It wasn't just a little bit. It was on my shirt, jeans and, as I discovered later, my bag.

The dude went on his merry drunken way and for the next two hours, we were pushing drinks around the table, trying to ensure they did not meet his giant elbow.

"How does this always happen to me?" I asked Jacque. "I don't even drink beer and somehow I'm the one who always ends up going home smelling like beer. And aren't you supposed to buy a person a drink after you douse them in booze?"

"I think he thought about it," she answered. "But he looked and saw you had a mixed drink."

Later in the night, he returned to our table and I gripped my drink tightly. "Hey! I spilled a beer earlier with my elbow!"

You know, as if I couldn't remember why my whole left side was wet.

Now I See It Every Day

A few weekends ago, I was on my way back home when I got a call from Doll.

"Did you bring your camera?"

Of course I had my camera. I always do. I never seem to take photos anymore, but I have the camera in case I decide to catch something.

So I ended up playing wedding photographer for an evening. Can't really say I'm a pro, but I also didn't have a full batch of equipment..

I did take over six hundred photos.

It has taken me forever to sort though them all and figure out what's decent. It's not just the number that's slowing me down. I'm also having trouble because I keep thinking about the cake made of nothing but Rice Krispie treats.

Delicious and awesome!

Momma Don't Go

This year, my mother is retiring after thir several years of teaching art.

She is taking it quite well. If I were her, the whole year would be ridiculous. I would be wailing about it being my last year and then my last first quarter and then my last semester and my last Christmas break and on and on. But that's me. She is very unsentimental about the whole thing.

"Mom! It's your last two weeks!"

"I know."

"Aren't you sad? It's your last two weeks of teaching ever!"

"You know, you seem to be much more worried about this than I am."

"You've been teaching my whole life! What am I supposed to tell people that you do?"

"You'll just say I'm a retired art teacher."

"No. I'll just say you're lazy!"

Happy Mothers' Day, Lazy!

Daze In My Mind It's Confusion

"A bear, huh?"

"Um. No. It was a dog."

"HAHA!"

"I even got out of my car because I was going to take a picture to prove to everyone that I saw a bear!"

"HAHAHA!"

"But it was a big dog. A very mangy, unkempt huge dog."

"Haha. So it wasn't like a Shitzu?"

"Haha. A great white grizzly!"