Speaking of kids, what is wrong with them???
8.31.2005
I Don't Need to Walk Around in Circles
I think the whole "Back to School" thing has been terribly rough on the kiddos this year.
The other day I was at WalMart. I know. This is breaking headline news. I only went there because I wanted to run in and run out and I knew that would never happen at Target.
I should have known it would never happen at WalMart, either.
There's no running in and out! There's too many screaming kids and rude people to dash in and out!
Anyway, I was in WalMart and saw several kids who were so worn out from school, they couldn't function!
One kid started walking alongside me and even put something in my cart. I stopped the cart and he still stood there for a minute before he decided to look up to see why his mommy had stopped. When he realized I wasn't his mother, his eyes grew wide and he ran away from me as if I'd been trying to kidnap him or something.
As if, dude! As if!!!
Then, I ended up over by the dressing rooms. There's always several carts sitting there, full of junk while the prospective buyers try on muumuus.
On this particular day, there was only one junk-filled cart, which left plenty of room for two or three carts to pass. Or not.
I watched this little girl push her muumuu-wearing mother's cart around a corner. Slowly. And slowly, she careened toward the lonely junk-filled cart.
How the hell she managed it, I'll never know. Maybe she had her eyes closed? Or maybe it was the school wear-down.
I passed another family. The muumuu-wearing mother pushed her junk-filled cart, while three boys followed. The last kid was looking down at his feet as they walked through the obstruction-free aisle.
Again, how this happened, I'll never figure out. The kid suddenly veered off course and slammed his face right into a rack of clothes.
At least I waited until he was behind me to burst out laughing!
It's not just the young ones who are affected by the burnout!
The other day, Jacque was at work when someone came in to tell her that her car had been hit in the parking lot.
Apparently, a kid with his learner's permit was giving his mother curbside service. Since he only has a permit, he had to wait there at the curb for her.
Kiddo decided he could have pulled closer to the curb. Inexperienced as he was, he seemingly missed the fact that Jacque's car was right there and smashed into it.
When everyone ran outside to catch the car crunching kiddo, they saw he hadn't stopped.
The kid was driving very slowly in circles around the parking lot. He was afraid to try parking again.
8.29.2005
And My Hair will Shine Like the Sea
That's right, folks! My modeling career is off and running!
On Wednesday, I'm filling in at the last minute to be Tonya's hair model for her big test at Xenon.
I was going to get my hair cut and maybe colored this week, anyway. So getting that done is all fine and dandy.
But then Tonya leaves me a message today to say "I just wanted to tell you not to wear makeup because I have to do that, too."
Is it too late to back out, now?
8.26.2005
Flat Tires, Love, Love is Precious
I was an awesome mechanic today. Me and my trusty tire guage.
I've still got grease and grime under my fingernails!
Threw the Pickles on my Rug
I've always been a big fan of dill pickles. In fact, I grew up in a family of pickle appreciators.
We're the kind of family that will order a steak and then notice the person who ordered the hamburger got a pickle spear. We will bring out the puppy dog eyes and try to convince you that you never wanted that pickle, so maybe you should just hand it down to me, the poor kid with no pickles!
We loved pickles, but when my mom told us about peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, we were less than excited. In fact, we were pretty grossed out!
My mom kept telling us how much she liked them as a child, so we decided we'd grow some balls and try one.
We loved them, and the sandwiches quickly became a Saturday regular, along with watching Batman or Grease 2.
I was talking to Raw the other night. Talk turned to pickles and the jar they'd eaten in an amazingly short time period.
We discussedthe best brand, which of course is Claussen! All the chat made me hungry for a pickle, so I opened the fridge to discover I had three different kinds of pickles: halves, spears and hamburger slices. But at least my jars weren't empty!
Then I talked to Casey, and we discussed pickles, too. Man, those things are great!
I told Casey about the peanut butter and pickle sandwich and actually got him to try one!
I sat and listened as he gathered the supplies.
I started getting nervous. What if he didn't like it?
"Make sure you only put one layer of pickles. Pickle chips! Don't upset the balance! You can't have too much peanut butter or too much pickle!"
Oh why oh why did I put myself through so much agony?
Finally, the sandwich was done. He cut it down the middle, so Raw could have a go at it. I crossed my fingers and heard silence as he took a bite.
"It's pretty good."
Hallelujah! He didn't hate it!
But now, it was Raw's turn. Raw was a big pansy and didn't want to try it.
"You tell her she has to eat it! I tried pickled pigs feet for her!!!"
8.19.2005
Dreams Aren't What They Used to Be
Oh man am I tired!
I don't have to work until one o'clock today, so I slept in, and it seems to have been a bad idea!
I had the most vivid dreams ever last night!
I don't quite remember all of them--there were several--but a couple really stuck in my head.
The first had me going to see The Killers again. This time, they were playing a really small venue; some tiny bar. It was a cool show because they would play a couple of songs, then hang out and drink for awhile before they played a couple more.
It was weird, because I was the only person there who was really paying attention. I was singing along and into it while everyone else was more into their drinks and what was on the television.
It was kind of like when you go to a bar and some local band no one has heard of and who sucks is playing while you're trying to get your drink on. Except it shouldn't have been like that because it was The Killers!
Between songs, I was able to talk to all of the band members, except for Ronnie, the drummer, which is quite disappointing because I think he's cute. They seemed to appreciate me since I actually knew their songs and had the decency to be involved.
For some reason (you know how dreams are, you just pop in and out of places) I had to leave. I returned at 4:30AM and everyone was still there and wasted. I went up to the bartender to ask if he was still serving.
"No, but there is an after-party everyone's going to . . . if you've been invited."
He was pulling out some kind of ticket so I got excited that I was going to be invited. Then from behind me I heard someone say "No!"
I don't know where it came from, but it seemed to come from one of the band members.
"We don't want her to come!"
My heart, of course, broke in the rejection and I muttered something about no need to stay around or something and fled.
As I was getting into my car, Brandon, the lead singer, came out and gave me a twenty dollar bill. I was confused and asked him why.
He looked sheepish and apologetic and said "I just don't think you should've had to pay for this."
It was weird!!!
I woke up, because it was time to wake up, normally. I made myself go back to sleep and had another weird one.
I was in Colorado with several people, but really only remember Raw and Casey. We were on a mountain. Apparently, you could ride almost to the top and from there you could climb to the very peak.
Casey went up first, and then helped me climb. Most of it was easy, because it was a trail that wound around the mountain, but there was a bit of rock-climbing to do.
Once I got to the peak, I looked around for awhile, noticing the sheer drop on one side of the mountain.
The climbing down was harder, because I couldn't see where I was going. At times, I was swinging by my hand, which was holding Casey's. Casey seemed more freaked out about it than I did. He kept freaking out that he couldn't hold on to me and the mountain any longer.
Somehow, he held and I scrambled my way back onto the mountain. I was still holding the piece of rock that made up the peak and apparently with my great strength, I knocked the rock loose and it bounced down the cliff. Whoops!
I knocked off more pieces of the peak as I made my way down. I singlehandedly removed about ten feet off the height of the mountain.
Man I'm strong!
So anyway, those are the weirdest and most vivid of the dreams I had last night. I just figured you'd like to know what my nights are like.
No more sleeping in for me! . . . right . . .
8.18.2005
The More You Eat
When Raw and I first met, we tooka lot of trips to Taco Bell.
Raw always always always got two bean burritos.
Ordering through the drive-thru is hard enough, but at this particular Taco Bell, communication was especially hard. It seemed no one could hear each other.
On one occasion, I pulled up and ordered two bean burritos and whatever I was eating in those days.
"Was that bean or beef burritos?" the Drive-Thru Queen asked.
Without even thinking about it, I replied "Bean. As in the musical fruit."
Keep Shinin'
Thanks for being around when I needed a little company and an ear to bend. I have certainly bent both up, down and all around recently!
8.15.2005
I Wanna Shine on in the Hearts of Men
When I heard The Killers were coming to town, I was excited. I still wasn't tired of hearing "Mr. Brightside" (and no matter how much they overplay it, I'm still not tired) and thought seeing it live would maybe cure my habit of constantly singing it.
So I suckered Cassie into going with me, ordered the tickets and waited (semi)patiently for August 13th.
We didn't get to The Cotillion until nearly an hour after the doors opened and there was still a giant line snaking around the building.
We stood in the rain, slowly making our way to the doors and security. We watched the security guy and a "promoter" get into a shouting match. Seems the promoter didn't want to be searched. Can't imagine why . . .
From one line to the next, Cassie and I headed to the bar. Since we had to wait so long, we decided we'd get a couple. Thus, Cassie's two-handed method.
We saw and old friend, Lisa Cordon. Lisa used to work with us, but moved back to Manhattan. She was looking extra glamourous, but I missed taking her picture.
I do have pictures of our new friends, Brandy and Chanda. They were cool (Brandy has seen Bowie three times!) and good conversationalists.
We also watched some guy eating popcorn like a dog.
We sat on the non-wood floor while the opening act played. Cassie and I came in while he was playing, so we missed his introduction. Nobody remembered who he was. I even asked a girl at the bank today if she remembered who he was. Nope. We thought maybe he was Bo Bice. I looked it up online today, and it turns out he was Richard Johnston.
The seemingly endless period between Johnston and The Killers was filled with people watching and chatting with our new pals. We also sent a few pictures via picture mail to our old pals.
I also spent time worrying about whether or not the show would be great. Sometimes bands don't take the Kansas shows too seriously.
I was worried the crowd would be the typical under-21 crowd and start moshing. Moshing and trying to hurt each other to music that isn't about moshing and hurting each other.
But mostly, I fretted over whether or not they'd play my favorite, "Indie Rock & Roll."
Finally, we hear Bowie's voice and we know it's starting. The lights go down and The Killers take the stage. The crowd goes crazy.
I had planned to sit back and take pictures from afar, but it didn't take long for Brandy to pull me up and into the crowd for better shots.
Oh how I miss concerts! The crowd was awesome; everyone bouncing around to the same beat, smiling and singing along.
I made my way back to the abandoned Cassie. We sang and I pumped my fist l ike a big dork.
And nothing was probably funnier than watching me prance back to the crowd with glee when I heard the beginning keystrokes to "Indie Rock & Roll." I am such a dork!
The band was really great. They had good energy and Flowers kept up with a strong voice the whole way through.
It's not often you feel a band is giving you the same performance they would for a more celebrity-filled crowd, or even for one of their videos. Sure, there was no fluffy-haired chick or Eric Roberts running around them, but I was impressed.
It's a pity the after-show wasn't as full of camaraderie. The parking lot was full of people trying to cause accidents. One chick came around the line in her SUV and tried to smash her way in front of us. When they couldn't do it right away, they started screaming obscenities at us as if we were doing something wrong. You know, we waited our turn and stuff.
Obviously, no one listened to Flowers when he said "Be good to one another."
8.14.2005
8.12.2005
Glamourous, Indie Rock & Roll is What I Need
Today is the day we've been waiting for my friends!
I've got soul but I'm not a soldier!
8.09.2005
Stays Home all Day 'Cause of Paranoia
The other night, Jacque and I were in her yard, playing with the dogs. I went in to get my camera and closed the door when I came back out.
"You didn't just lock us out did you?"
Whoops! Hey the air conditioner was on and my momma taught me well and . . . I didn't know it would lock behind me!
Luckily, Jacque had already been through the being locked out thing once and wasn't about to do it again. There's some secret place with a secret key.
I don't know where the key is, and really have no need to know. But I followed her, apologizing profusely.
Jacque started giving me funny looks and stopped heading toward the gate. I realized she was trying to lose me!
Jacque and I have been friends for a long time, now! I was sure she thought she could trust me!
"Do you not want me to know where the key is???"
"No."
"Are you serious? What do you think I'm going to do? Come in when you're gone and steal stuff?"
"Well, what if you get mad at me someday?"
Please! She should know I just use the doggie door when I want to sneak in!
Tonight, I showed up so we could go get Blizzards at Dairy Queen. Those Key Lime Pie Blizzards rock your world!
I ran the doorbell and waited patiently. I waited some more. And then a little more and still no answer.
She was supposed to be waiting for me, so I kinda got a little nervous. Should I go in? What if something was wrong? Surely she's just changing her clothes or something . . .
And because I'm the kind of person who doesn't bust into someone's house without permission, I waited a little more and then rang again.
It turns out, Jacque had just been letting the dogs out so we were ready to get ice cream.
I got my precious Key Lime and Jacque got some kind of chocolate concoction. We got back and sat in the living room.
On Jacque's first bite, plop! Chocolate ice cream all over Baby Fed!
I tell you, this Chocolate Ice Cream on White Shirt phenomenon is getting out of control!
8.07.2005
Go Ahead and Light Up the Town
So I hear Congress has gone ahead and voted to extend Daylight Savings Time.
I haven't really thought about it too much. I don't really know how much it will affect me.
I don't think the intent is so horrible; saving energy. I'm just not so sure how much energy will be saved if we have extra darkness in the mornings . . .
I was reading this article about some parents' concern over the change. They're worried about various things like their children waiting for the bus in the dark or having their sleep schedules thrown out of whack.
And then there's Mary Beth Truman, whose biggest concern is televison. "'I don't know, it always creeps me out if it's dark and Oprah's on,' she said."
Oprah scares me when it's light!
Love is Better than Ice Cream
I noticed my phone was blinking Friday as I left work. "You have new Picture Mail!"
Raw is the only person who ever sends me picutre mail, so I was pretty sure who the sender was. But when I saw the preview picture, I didn't quite understand. Why is she sending me a picture of her shirt?
Then I saw it full-screen and realized Raw was modeling the Chocolate Ice Cream vs. White Shirt phenomenon.
This is the beauty of sending pictures via mobile phone.
8.04.2005
Beautiful Boys on a Beautiful Dance Floor
Poor Michael has been left all alone in Larryville this week. I'm just worried sick that he's had nothing to do!
Well, not really. I've assigned him some reading homework. That should keep him relatively occupado.
Plus, Michael has really never had that much trouble finding something to do. He and I were always quite creative in that area.
We became excellent in the arts of interpretive dance and being super-duper loud. We also found many ways to entertain ourselves while waiting.
While waiting for our movie time, we might play a little "Stay in first gear since I don't know how to drive stick and watch Michael jump in and out of the car." Or we might go next door to Dillon's, go to opposite ends of the store and make cow noises until we found each other.
While passing the time before class started, I would make flatulent sounds with my mouth (I swear it was my mouth!) and Michael would spell the sound out on the marker board.
Oh the good times we've had!
Do you think maybe there might be something wrong with us?
On another note, I found this today and it gave me quite a chuckle.
No worries, I'm not near this feeling . . . yet!
8.02.2005
Of White Skin on Red Leather
I'm the first-born grandchild on my mother's side. Which means I was super duper spoiled.
I was so adorable, my Aunt Karen just couldn't help but want to keep me! And when my parents weren't kosher with that, she decided to have a kid of her own.
Allison Tai came to ruin all my only-grandkid fun just before I turned three. It didn't take me long to figure out I'd be just as spoiled and have someone to enhance the fun.
We rode bicycles and waved at the cute boys. We played Barbies for hours. Giggling nonstop, we would make fart noises when we were supposed to be sleeping. We were goofy. Sweet Jeebus, were we goofy!
Living so far away, we didn't see each other too terribly often. There was always the Christmases, and some random visits in between. But, always, there was Christmas.
Now that we're older, things are different. People are busy, hearts have changed, and we see each other less and less. We didn't even see each other last Christmas.
Assuming her flight wasn't pulled in by a tractor beam to the North, the crazy girl is in South Korea right now. She has gone there to teach English and won't be back for a year or more. Or much more.
I hope I'm wrong, and she's not running away from, but toward something. I hope she has a wonderful time. I hope she is safe and happy.
I really hope she doesn't accidentally wander into North Korea and come home with a K.J-il haircut!
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