If You're Going to San Francisco

Last week, it was decided that I would go to San Francisco for my birthday.

Since then, I have been unable to think of anything else.

I have been scouring the internet, trying to decide what to do while I'm there. There's just too much! Raw will be my chaperone and we will be staying with Michael. I have been bombarding them with emails, text messages and phone calls.

I do have other things to tell you. I just can't get my brain to produce anything but SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO!!!!!!!

And hey hey hey kids! Step right up! Your favorite event is coming soon!

Poop Week isn't far away! Enter your poop stories by emailing me now!

auntbee (at) heartauntbee.com

Rave On Monkey

My friend Jacob is the assistant Debate and Forensics coach in Newton.

For years, I've been begging him to call me so I can be a judge. You'd think I would have been hearing from him. Nobody in their right mind wants to judge! You'd think I'd be his favorite person come tournament time.

But I didn't get a call until a couple of weeks ago.

"What time do you want to come in?"

"Anytime."

"Well, you probably don't want to come in for first round."

"I do if you need me."

"But it's at eight."

I was insanely excited enough that I was cool with that. Jacob wasn't sure I'd make it that early so he scheduled me for nine thirty.

Of course, I didn't write down the time, so I sent Jacob a text message to confirm.

So I forgot what time. 9:30? Also, where do I check in? Also, can I wear my judge robe and powdered wig?

Jacob called me a few minute slater. I answered, saying "What? You think the wig is going overboard?"

"It is! The kids will love it! Do you really have a powdered wig?"

"Uh . . . I wasn't really going to wear that stuff, Jacob."

The Day that I'd Wake Up to Find My Wendy

I just talked to my mom this morning. She told me my hometown is getting a Wendy's.

I'm pretty sure my dad is pee-in-his-pants excited right now, just thinking about all the square hamburgers he'll get to eat.

Move Over Dad Cause I'm a Double Dipple

I bought a lottery ticket the other day. I've decided what I'm going to do if I win.

I'm going to travel the world riding roller coasters.

I'm pretty sure when I ride Eejanaika I will crap my pants on that first drop.

I love how everyone claps at the end.

And You Smell Like One, Too!

This post is last in a series of four. If you haven't started at the beginning, please click here.

Since I haven't had a birthday celebration with my grandparents, I'm counting everything through this weekend as part of my big day.

So that means when I got a phone call on Friday, it was still my birthday.

I got a phone call from my company's internal staffing. "I don't know if you've heard about this job, but your name has been mentioned as someone who would be a great fit."

I was surprised and flattered. I had no idea anyone had mentioned my name to anyone. I hadn't even been looking at other positions.

I interviewed for the position on Monday.

Today, they offered me the job.

Not only did they offer me the job, I would be getting a big raise, more vacation time and no Saturdays!!!

How could I turn that down?

I am feeling bad about it, though. I'll miss my banking center. I've been there long enough that I've gotten very comfortable. I know how to do my job. I know the customers and they know me.

With this new position, I won't have any of that. I'll be the new kid all over again.

I'll miss the people I work with. Even worse, they'll miss me!

We're pretty short, too. So it's a really bad time for me to be leaving the branch.

But it seems to never be a good time to leave. We're always short or something big is coming up.

I just felt like I couldn't pass on this. I'm nervous, sad and excited all at the same time.

And I'm still so surprised I was mentioned, let alone got the job!

I guess what I'm trying to say with this four-part borefest is that I've had a really good birthday this year.

Finally!