Barely Legal

Hi! I'm having heart pangs today.

That's because the eldest of my poomongers is *choke* twenty-one today.

My sweet little baby is now a . . . big baby!

Happy Birthday, Mitch!

Goodnight Freddy

Twenty-ten in 2010! Fabulous!

Welcome to the club, my love! Happy Birthday!

Love is Like Laughter

Dear Jackson,

I've been spending my time thinking about how crappy last year was for everyone I know. I've been so focused on divorce and job loss and illness when I should have realized what an awesome year you've had!

2009 was the year you learned how to talk. Oh man. Here I was all worried you were never going to talk and I'd always be trying to figure out what you meant when you were pointing and whining. Now, I'm not sure you'll ever be quiet! You always have something to say and demand attention immediately. "BEE! BEE!"

This was also the year you decided to quit with the diapers. And you've been very independent about it.

One day, at Mamo's, you very politely asked me to turn the bathroom light on for you. As soon as that was taken care of, you quickly ushered me out.

"Thanks, Bee. Thanks," you said as you nudged me out the door.

You have also discovered video games. Your daddy called me one day to tell me that you are obsessed with playing Mario 64 and that you are really good at it. I got a chance to check it out this weekend. You're certainly better than your daddy but I could smoke you!

You're still incredibly adorable. Everyone loves you. Everyone. Strangers recognize your awesomeness with a glance and fall in love. You're funny without even knowing it.

During your big birthday party Saturday night, your Grammy Monica asked what you wanted for your birthday dinner the next day. "More presents!"

Your big party must have really worn you out. You were asleep when I was taking a shower and when I left the bathroom, I found you right outside the door. You were mostly asleep on the floor with one leg tucked under you and twirling your hair. "Hi, Sir! Happy birthday!"

You whimpered a greeting and I picked you up. We hung out in the living room for awhile. Just you and I and silence.

I've always said you know a person is a true friend when you don't have to talk while together and you still feel like you're having a good time. I'm so happy to know that we're going to be friends.

Happy birthday!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

She's Got a Way About Her

Dear Sophia,

Oh, my love. What a year it's been.

You and I looked through your baby book today and I was overwhelmed. Things are so different now. Sometimes I forget how much you've been through in a short four years.

I can't say it's been the best year of your life, but you've had fun!

This year, you've been blessed with yet another cousin! So now you're the leader of a pack of five and boy do you all keep your grandma busy! You're all really into movies; namely The Wizard of Oz, E.T., The Little Mermaid, and Labyrinth? Your mom caught you all dancing around singing "Slap that baby! Make him free!"

And when I say you're into The Little Mermaid, I mean you are the Little Mermaid. When you see Ariel, you proclaim "That's ME!"

This is the year that I found you, Sadie and LexiMo in the middle of the playroom floor, deep in concentration. "Um. What are you girls doing?"

"We're painting!" And you were. And not staying on the paper. With non-water soluble paints. That was a lovely carpet.

This year, walking back to that very same playroom, your momma heard you say "Don't let Mommy see!"

She walked in to find a room covered in a whole bottle of baby powder. "Girls! What are you doing???"

Sadie was the first to answer this time. "It's snowing, Momma!"

Maybe the best thing that's happened this year is school. When you first started pre-school you were very funny. You wouldn't tell us anything about it. It was as though since we weren't there, it was your little secret. I'd ask what you had done at school that day and you would turn your head a bit and purse your mouth in a little mischievous smile. What. A. Turd.

You're definitely an extreme kind of girl. You still astound me with how smart you are. You can be so sweet and loving and also so very naughty and mean. You can melt my heart with giggles and silliness and terrify me with your screams and shouts. There is no in-the-middle with you.

You seem well beyond your years and yet still so sweetly naive. You believe the adults around you know all the answers and that a new marriage can mend a broken heart.

Today you yelled "I AM AN ADULT!" Darling, you're far from it. And I wish you wouldn't rush yourself. There's nothing better than being a kid.

Why do you think I never grew up?

Happy Birthday!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

There Ought to Be a Law Against Anyone Who Takes Offense

I went home for the weekend and told my mom she should make me lasagne. She always makes me lasagne for my birthday and she didn't do it this year. So I whined and she got cranky.

"Well! You haven't been home for me to make it!"

I whined some more and she got even crankier and said she wasn't making it. Then I cried and said she hated me. I'm the best daughter ever.

Because my mom is the best mom ever, she made me lasagne Saturday night. That lady is awesome. As we all chowed down, I realized something.

"You know what this means," I announced. "I have successfully extended my birthday past Thanksgiving. This is a new record."

To You

Yesterday, I called your house and you insisted on talking to me.

"Hey big boy!"

"Yeah! I am a big boy!"

I haven't seen you for a few weeks since we've both been out of town. And you weren't kidding. You are so big! I feel like you grew ten inches!

But that's what happens when you're four. Four! It sounds like such a huge number. I don't think you can even be considered a toddler anymore!

So this birthday of yours has been killing me. Yesterday, I just couldn't stop squeezing you and lamenting the loss of my little baby. I may have seen an eye-roll or two, but for the most part you indulged my dramatics.

You do this well, indulging my insanity. There's the constant breaking out into song. And the bedtime routine that involves three languages and an accent that's part French, with a dash of Latino and German. And how about the way "Duck Duck Goose" always turns into something more like "Duck Parakeet Flamingo Dodo Goose?"

I think that I may be rubbing off on you. You seem to turn the game into "Poopy Snake Chocolate Milk Goose!"

I hope it's only the good pieces of me that rub off. The quickness to laughter and the love and the unabashed goofiness. Because I see how these things make you smile.

Thank you for playing along for the last four years. I promise to return the favor and indulge your crazy!

Happy Birthday!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

Let it Out Don't Hold It In

On Friday, my Mamo turned twenty-sixty.

She's one of those terribly hard to buy for people. She has what she needs and what you buy her probably isn't going to be right. So this year, we all decided we'd try to get everyone together for her birthday.

And by some miracle we managed it. Well, mostly. All the sons, daughters-in-law, grandkids and great-grandkids, anyway.

We're a ridiculous bunch. Full of beards and immaturity and even a Speedo. And somehow, I think Mamo liked it.

Click on the photo below to see more pictures of this soggy bunch.

You and I and a Love so Tender

Dear Sadie,

I know! Late again!

But it's not because I don't love you or think you're gorgeous. Just look at you!

Your smile, your eyes, your adorable dimples! You've only gotten more beautiful this year.

And your laugh. It kills me. It always makes me want to tickle you more and more.

And I want to tell you all about it, but your Poor Old Aunt Bee is in the hospital. And I missed your party because of it. And I'm really really sad about that.

But I'll make it up to you. We'll celebrate. Just think of this as me teaching you my ancient secret of extending your birthday way past the actual date!

Just as soon as they let me out of this boring place, I'll make it up to you.

But for now, I've got to stay here to make sure I'm healthy enough to watch you grow up into the fun and beautiful person I know you'll be.

Happy Belated!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

But at Thirty Years of Age, Through Frolic and In Rage

I'm going to see 311 tonight. I'm excited because they put on an awesome show.

Or at least they did three years ago. I went to that show with my brother, who was so excited his face was pretty much permanently as you see above.

This time, I'm going with Raw and Casey. Casey seems to be pretty excited about it, but Raw is not.

"We're going to be the oldest people there."

Yeah, Raw is feeling pretty old lately. I didn't want to make a big deal about it because I know she wasn't happy about it, but apparently I'm in the doghouse with Casey because I didn't mention it. And that's bullcrap. I can never win.

Raw had one of those milestone birthdays recently. Which one? Well, I'll let her tell you.

What Am I to Do? Can't Help It.

My brother's birthday was Monday and to celebrate he went to watch wrestling.

So of course I had to watch to see if I could catch a glimpse of him on television.

I haven't watched WWE in quite some time. I was pretty disappointed.

In fact, I was creeped out by a lot of it--especially the guy crawling around on the mat all slithery with his shimmery oily body. Gross.

But, I've decided I will have to start watching again. All because of one man . . . Santino.

Santino is the greatest. And I think if you watch this video, you will agree.

You're welcome.

Love Is Like Laughter

Dear Jackson,

I know. I'm the worst. I'll make the same promise to you that I made to Sophia. I'll never be late with this letter again. But you other poomongers . . . well, no promises yet.

It's not that I forgot or didn't care. I took a whole week off to spend with you for your birthday. And I was having so much fun, I just didn't have the time to get to a computer. I know that's not a good excuse and you didn't ask for me to come stay with you but that's tough. Who else cooks you French toast and puts peanut butter on your apple slices?

You, Sir, have not diminished in the adorable area. Everyone who sees you can't help but smile.

Last week, we went out for sushi. We sat down and the hostess came running from out of nowhere. "You came back!"

She wasn't talking to Daddy or to me, the people who actually spend the money there. She was excited to see you, the kid who makes a mess. You win everyone over.

Your daddy held you when we were leaving and put you down as we walked out the door onto Mass Street. You threw your arms up in the air and hollered and laughed. This continued as rushed down the street. It was as though you were yelling "Freedom!" Every person you passed laughed and their gaze followed you as your little legs ran.

You have no other speed but run. You never walk. You're always rushing to somewhere. There's so many things to do and see and never enough time.

Which isn't to say you don't have time to stop and give those you love a good pat. A short and sweet gesture that says so much.

I know that since you're still so young and not yet talking that we tend to underestimate you, but you are smart and learn things so quickly. One of the presents I bought for you had a pirate on it. It only took me once to tell you that "A pirate says 'Aaaaar!'" and you had it down pat.

On a recent trip to Clay Center, Mamo was going through the usual "Where's your nose? Where's your belly?" routine.

She ended with what used to be the best and final part. "Where's your armpit?"

You showed her and then, even though she didn't ask, you pointed to your rear-end.

"That's his booty," Grammy explained. "Aunt Bee taught him that."

I really missed you last week. Not the diapers or anything. But after spending a week with you, going cold turkey was hard. There's no belly to blow raspberries on; nobody to sit and watch Spongebob with. I miss hearing your giggle. You've really won me over, Sir!

You've been through a lot in your first two years. Unfortunately, your life isn't going to be as careless and perfect as I had wished. But you're tough. And your family loves you. Every one of us would do anything we can to make you happy.

We figure we owe you.

Enjoy year number two!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

She's Got a Way About Her

Dear Sophia,

Wow. I promise to never ever be (this) late in posting your birthday letter. I have a lot of excuses, but I'm not going to waste my time. It all comes down to I didn't get it done when I should have.

But that doesn't mean I forgot your birthday! I risked my life just to be there for your party!

As I was driving up to Newton, your dad called me. "What are you doing?"

"I'm on my way. Why am I late?" I asked.

"No. The tornado sirens went off and everyone freaked out."

"Um. Am I driving into danger?"

Turns out the storms weren't a big deal in our area. But boy does Mother Nature love to celebrate your birth in a weird way!

You have amazed me yet again this past year. I believe you may be the second smartest kid who ever lived. The first, of course, being yours truly. On your birthday you and I chatted away. You told me all about your day and your sister and your cousins and how your favorite color is red. And your necklace is beautiful. And where is Evan?

Evan. It's always about how much you love Evan.

It just seems crazy to me that you have such a large vocabulary and understand so much. You're even aware of politics!

At dinner one night, you pointed to the television. "Look! It's Obama!"

You're very concerned about Sadie. You're even teaching her to talk. You're quick to tell your family you love them, even when you're not looking for something in return.

Of course you have a naughty mean streak in you. Sometime before I arrived to your party, you had bitten your mom.

"Sophia! Did you bite your mother?!?" I asked.

Your face turned downward and pouty. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I bit her! I won't do it again! I promise! I won't bite her again!"

You were so remorseful and sad, I felt bad. So I laid off, even though I know you'll most likely do it again.

But it's hard to see you sad because you're so much fun when you're happy! In Target a few weeks ago, I was pushing you and Sadie in the cart. You two were squealing with delight and then you suddenly broke out into song. The Spongebob Squarepants theme song. At the top of your lungs. I probably should have been embarrassed but I laughed.

On your birthday, your mom, sister and I joined you for a dance party. Which was fun. But darlin' . . . we need to talk about your dance moves. You're not allowed to move your hips like that until you're thirty.

I keep talking about things we did on your birthday. Because I had an exceptionally good time with you that night. Apparently, you had been pretty naughty and in a bad mood before I arrived. Everyone noticed a change in your attitude when I showed up.

You always turn my mood to good, too!

Hope you're enjoying your third year!

(A Very Late) Happy Birthday!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

To You

Today, you are three.

Three is a great number. it's the number of Blind Mice, Musketeers, Pure Ones, Wise Men and Beastie Boys. It's also the number of some other stuff that you're not allowed to ask me about until you're older. Wait. Not even then.

One thing that hasn't changed over the year is your personality. You're just as crazy and rambunctious and all-out boyish as ever! I really don't know where you find the energy!

Your vocabulary has expanded quite rapidly. It's so funny to hear your personality come through in your speech. I can hear true emotions now; especially concern and attitude!

Your aim when throwing is awesome and you're getting tough. You don't throw a fit and cry every time you fall down anymore!

Bedtime has been a nightmare in the past, but you've recently gotten much better. I didn't think I'd ever be there for a bedtime where you didn't come running into the room screaming because you didn't want to sleep! I'm really proud of you!

And potty training? Down. Pat.

I have to admit we did go through a bit of a rough patch. You picked up this nasty habit of spitting at me. I hate spitting! It's so gross.

Your mom kept telling me it was probably a phase. i was worried, though. We tried to be stern and tell you to stop. We tried explaining how it was yucky and it hurts people's feelings. We tried ignoring it. nothing seemed to work. I was really starting to take it personally!

I should have known. Moms are always right. The spitting ended as suddenly as it began. And we have been having a blast the last few months!

We've had fun playing Spiderman and chasing each other around the house. It's fun to throw you on the bed and I really feel like it's giving me a good workout!

We both laughed quite heartily when I shot your mom in the eye with your disc gun! I don't think I had ever seen you mock someone before! "My eye! My eye!"

We have this routine at bedtime. You come and give me a big hug and I attack you with kisses. Then I repeat my goodnight wishes to you over and over. I have to confess, though, that I stole those wishes from someone.

A long long time ago when I was young, I used to babysit this boy. Like you, and all kids, he always tried to delay bed time.

He would holler at me through his closed door and expected me to repeat each line after he said it:

Night night!
Sleep tight!
Don't let the bed bugs bite!
Love you!
See you!

And to really keep from going to sleep, he would repeat it over and over. The repetition is probably why it's still stuck in my head to this day! Since I chant this to all my poomongers at bed time, you get to hear this once a week. I apologize in advance for the frustration you'll have later in life when you can't get it out of your head.

You used to love the routine since it delayed bed time. Recently, though, you're enjoying going to bed more and you just don't have time for me.

"Night night!

"Night night!"

"Sleep tight!"

"Yeah."

"Love you!"

Here is where you sigh really hugely. "Love you."

Oh poor Evan. This is just the beginning of the exasperation! I plan on many more years of embarrassment and harrassment!

Happy birthday, Evan!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

Honey I Will Stitch You

My brain is really quite a mystery. You could study me for years and still never understand my thought process.

The way I remember birthdays is especially screwy.

Bret's birthday is the 13th because it's an unlucky number and if you double that number, you get Mitch's birthday for the next month, 4/26.

My college family was easy. John's birthday is the same as my dorm room, 4/16. Jackson's favorite number is 8, so it's funny that his birthday is 3/9. Raw's is the same month as his, but add a two to make 3/29.

I called Cameron yesterday to sing happy birthday. How did I remember his birthday?

Well, my mom and dad's anniversary is 6/24 and my Dad's birthday is 6/25. i always had trouble remembering which was which until I met Casey. his birthday is pretty easy to remember; 5/25. So that meant I would remember boys on the 25th, which left it easy for me to remember Mamo's birthday on 7/24.

I know Cameron's birthday is in August and it's the twenty-something-th. I was following the same "this is a girl day or boy day" calculation that results in me knowing Dad's birthday.

Sarah and Jacque are both on the 29th, so Cameron's is on the 28th.

I called at lunch before I forgot.

"Hello?"

"Haaaaaaaaaaaapy biiiiirthday to yoooooooou!"

"You know my birthday is tomorrow, right?"

Apparently, the ol' brain doesn't work the same. I guess I'm old enough to get a calendar.

Happy Birthday--on the RIGHT day!

Help Me Become Somebody Else

Yesterday, I was more obnoxious than usual.

"Guess what? In a month, I'll be in San Francisco!"

And then today, I wanted cake. And then I remembered what day it was.

"Aaarrrgggssssh! In a month, I'll be thirty!"

So then I had a drink.

But My Eyes Tell the Story that My Lies Can’t Hide

I can't even tell you how glorious that looks to me! I would love to shove my face into a pile of snow!

I know I've been terrible at this whole blog thing the last couple of months. It's just so hot! I can't even move! My brain won't work!

There's other things clogging my brain, too. I'm still obsessed with the whole San Francisco trip. I'm not kidding. I am so excited.

I talked to my gramps this weekend and he accidentally mentioned the trip. And so I started singing. "Oh no. I'm not going to have to listen to this for an hour, am I?"

C'mon people! I never go anywhere outside the midwest! Not to say I don't love Kansas, but I'll be turning thirty by the ocean!

And then there's that. I'll be thirty, soon. Just over a month. I think the trip is keeping me from really freaking out about it. But that doesn't stop it from happening.

And I know it's just a number, but that number is thirty! And do you know how close that is to forty? And then fifty is just around the corner! I feel like my life is just going by too quickly. And there's so many things I wanted to do and I haven't done them and I don't even feel old enough to do them! I'm so far away from childhood, but I still feel like such a baby inside. I can't be thirty! People who are thirty are so old!

Wow. This isn't really where I wanted this post to go. What I wanted to say is just that I have writers' block. Which seems so silly when it's just a blog. I just sometimes can't even pull up the blog to do any posting. I'm that blocked sometimes.

It's the heat! Not to mention the eye.

Sorry, folks! For the lack of posts and this whole tirade. My brain is a mess. But you knew this.

You see this . . . this is why I don't post!

If You're Going to San Francisco

Last week, it was decided that I would go to San Francisco for my birthday.

Since then, I have been unable to think of anything else.

I have been scouring the internet, trying to decide what to do while I'm there. There's just too much! Raw will be my chaperone and we will be staying with Michael. I have been bombarding them with emails, text messages and phone calls.

I do have other things to tell you. I just can't get my brain to produce anything but SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO!!!!!!!

And hey hey hey kids! Step right up! Your favorite event is coming soon!

Poop Week isn't far away! Enter your poop stories by emailing me now!

auntbee (at) heartauntbee.com

You and I, and a Love so Tender

Please don't be angry with me. I didn't really forget your birthday. I knew it was the twelfth and that the day was coming soon. It's just that my brain won't register that particular day every month this year.

But since I love you so much, something in my brain went off this morning at work and said "Hey! This is Sadie's Twelfth!"

So here it is, still on the right day. Just a little later than usual. If you hadn't kept me up so late partying at your house . . .

This year has flown by, but you're so big! It seems like surely you must be older than one! You're almost as big as your sister! As I'm looking back through your pictures, I almost don't recognize that wrinkly old man I met a year ago.

The first year is pretty cool. Babies go through so many changes in that time. And you're right on top of that!

You started out looking a lot like Sophia. But as you grew, you became pretty different. You're going to be my little Mexican gal. I hope you got the tortilla making gene from your grandma, too!

Speaking of food . . . Dang! You can eat! Especially if it's beans! I was eating specials with you and your family one night. Everyone had filed through and had their seconds. You were on fourths well after everyone else was done. You were so mad when we finally pulled you out of your chair. But your belly was so full! It was hard and physically stretched to the limit! We kept poking it and laughing. You just smiled like we were crazy.

Have I mentioned your smile yet? Back around the time you were baptized, your smile changed. Instead of smiling with your mouth, you used your nose. It almost looked like anger! Lately, you've been scrunching your nose and smiling with your mouth. Which is, of course, adorable!

You've developed a lot of really cute actions recently. Your sister is the queen of shaking her booty, but you're quickly catching on. You bounce up and down to get that booty shaking!

And you've discovered the art of kissing. Lovely, slimy, open-mouthed kisses.

One night, you crawled in a circle from me to your mom to your dad and back again. Around and around you went, planting sloppy kisses on us. No wonder we all got the same cold!

My favorite is the high-five. Your daddy hates the high-five! And you love it! I'm pretty sure you'd high-five me all day long if I was up for it. You make it up to your daddy, though, every time I ask you to say "Bee."

You grin, wrinkle your nose, and I always think "This is it! She's going to say it!"

"DaDa!"

The thing I'm struggling with most is how shy you are at first. I reach for you and you freak out. One day, you got really mad at me. Apparently you weren't as ready as I thought you were for me to greet you. You yelled at me. You continued to yell at me after I put you down and you crawled away. You went to your grandma and threw dirty looks at me for ten minutes. You have serious attitude!

It's difficult for me, because I have all this love I want to shower upon you right away. It's hard to hold back. But I'm trying to be patient. I'm learning that look means "No way!" And it's worth it to wait.

I'll always be here waiting to give you a kiss and a big hug. And plenty of booty pinches!

Happy Birthday, Sadie!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

Special Holiday Only for Me

This is first in a series of posts. Start at the beginning by clicking here.

Casey ended up deciding he didn't want to go to Maker's Mark. He thought it looked too classy. So we headed to the Mexican place instead.

Tengo sed Cantina was definitely not classy. We were seated in a booth that sat right next to a stripper pole.

I had a tasty margarita and some cheap tacos and talked to Raw. Casey called all his friends to let them know there was a slight change in plans. Still drinking, different location.

After eating, we headed back to the hotel to clean up. We wanted to feel totally refreshed before we got totally faded. And fade we did, but I'm getting ahead of myself. And I know how you all want every single event detailed.

We headed back to the P&L in the dark and found it much more crowded. Raw and I scored a seat on a fountain while Casey went to get us drinks.

Yes! I made Casey serve us on his birthday! I'm rotten! But he's so good at it!

While we were waiting, I noticed a gal sitting over on the "bleacher" area. I turned to Raw. "I think I went to school with her."

"You should go say hi!"

"I'm not that sure!"

Casey's friends started showing up and Casey kept brining us drinks. They didn't have Kahlua (!) so I was drinking Momma-style with vodka sours. Raw and I were surprised at the number of big fake boobies, bad music and crazy dancers we saw. But we had a good time. And all through this, I was stealing glances, trying to determine if I knew "that girl."

I know. It shouldn't have been that hard to figure out. But she was a couple of years older than me and we didn't really ever hang out. Plus, it's been over ten years since I last saw her.

My drinks didn't seem very strong. Casey brought one and said "I saw them pour this one. There's a lot of vodka in it. He was right!

After awhile, I was still nursing the strong drink when Casey decided to get another round. He asked if I wanted another. I gave him the signal for "NO WAY! I NEED A REST!"

I guess he thought I gave him the signal for "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Raw and I headed to the restroom and when we came out, I saw a guy that was in the same group that included the girl I thought I went to school with. I grabbed his arm to get his attention.

I succeeded in getting his attention and also got a reaction I'd never gotten from a stranger. The guy straight up recoiled from me and turned to look at me with a face full of disgust.

"Are you hanging out with a girl named Eva?"

He softened his stance when he realized I wasn't out to rape or pillage him. "Yeah . . ."

He didn't know her last name, but it was enough to give me the courage to approach her. "Hi Eva! I just scared the crap out of your friend!"

We exchanged pleasantries and then I made my way back to Casey's party. The boys were itching to get to the casino, so Raw and I bid them all a good night. We were having too much fun to leave for the boredom of the casino.

As I told Casey goodbye, he leaned in close. "Take good care of her."

I kind of laughed. "I will."

"No really," he demanded. "Take care of her."

Who does Casey think he is? I was taking care of Raw before he even knew her!

Continue reading this series.

A Special Holiday Only for Me

This is first in a series of posts. Get ready for more!

Casey turned thirty last weekend. Instead of a big party, Casey decided he wanted to go to Kansas City. Of course I invited myself.

We headed out a little past schedule on Saturday. We first stopped at the Prairie Band Casino. They had some money they wanted to give Casey and Sarah and I wanted buffet.

The buffet wasn't as good as I remember and people were scary. They would stand so close while I was serving myself that I could feel their clothes brushing my arm. Casey went out to try his hand at the slots while Raw and I escaped the crowd by putting our feet in the hot tub.

Casey didn't play long. We were eager to get to Kansas City. So we headed out and made our way downtown. We were staying at Hotel Phillips, which is smack dab in the heart of downtown.

Once there, we headed up to our room. Our plan was to hang out in Westport for the night. Since we had time to kill, we threw our stuff down, jumped on the beds and then decided to walk around to see what was going on. We passed the Power and Light District and caught a glimpse of Maker's Mark Bourbon House and Lounge.

"I want to go there this weekend!" Casey is a fan of Maker's Mark bourbon.

We continued to walk and went so far as to cross over the Interstate. After awhile, we saw a man sitting on the ground.

When he spotted us, he started laughing and clapping. He came up to us and gave Casey a notepad. "Can you read this?"

The way he said it was less "Will you read this and take the message to heart?" than "No, really. Can you read? Is it decipherable?"

I took a look over Casey's shoulder and decided maybe I was suffering from heatstroke because I couldn't find one word on that page. Casey gave it back to the guy without saying one word. The guy just laughed. "Yeah! I'll be in church tomorrow!"

We walked on and eventually circled back and went to the P&L District. With it being Saturday, we were carded on our way in. Raw went through with no problem. Then it was Casey's turn.

"Hey! Happy birthday tomorrow!" Of all the people who would card us that weekend, he was the only one who noticed.

Then it was my turn. I had my camera strap wrapped up and was getting ready to put the camera in my bag. It's difficult because it's a tight fit, so I usually wait until I have a table to put my bag on.

"Does that have a detachable flash?" I showed him it didn't, but he wasn't satisfied. "Let me ask my supervisor."

Raw and Casey watched nervously from a distance while this giant guy came over. The first guy kept saying "It's not a detachable flash! It's not detachable!"

The giant guy started shaking his head no. I told him I was just getting ready to put it away anyway. "Put it away before you go in."

So I had to squat down to use the floor to hold my bag while I shoved my camera in. The big dude started telling me something about how this is private property and you have to have special permission to take pictures there with that kind of camera. I wanted to let him know that my camera only looks badass, but really you could take better photos with a pocket-sized camera. What was so top-secret anyway?

I was finally allowed in and we took in the scene. We walked into what looked like some rich dude's courtyard. There were large outdoor couches and fountains and people running around serving drinks. Unlike a courtyard, there was a stage with a Jumbo-Tron. Surrounding all of this were restaurants and clubs.

"Let's just hang out here tonight!" Casey requested. It would sure save on cab fare!

Continue reading this series.