Well You're Drowining In It Too

I know this site has been totally dead this year. I truly apologize.

It seems I'm suffering a bit of writers' block lately. I can't seem to pinpoint the one reason.

I really have been working a lot. And hard! So when I come home, I don't really feel like sitting in front of the computer and thinking.

There's also a lot happening around me. These are things I'd like to write about but they're not my stories to tell. It's just really difficult for me to come up with something else when all this is right at the front of my mind.

But I'm going to try harder this month. And the video is a bit of what I've been doing and not writing about. So we'll just call that catching you up on the last month.

If You're Going to San Francisco

Last week, it was decided that I would go to San Francisco for my birthday.

Since then, I have been unable to think of anything else.

I have been scouring the internet, trying to decide what to do while I'm there. There's just too much! Raw will be my chaperone and we will be staying with Michael. I have been bombarding them with emails, text messages and phone calls.

I do have other things to tell you. I just can't get my brain to produce anything but SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO SAN FRANCISCO!!!!!!!

And hey hey hey kids! Step right up! Your favorite event is coming soon!

Poop Week isn't far away! Enter your poop stories by emailing me now!

auntbee (at) heartauntbee.com

And I Don't Feel Any Different

Hey I told you I'd be worthless in December!

I've had an incredibly busy and mostly delightful holiday season. I'll share all about it later. But today, I'm too tired from celebrating the New Year at Exploration Place.

For those of you who made this season special for me, and you know who you are, your thank you cards will arrive. Eventually.

I hope your holiday season was grand and wish you all a good 2008!

Took Some Time to Celebrate

Yes. It has been a long time since you've heard from me.

No. Poop week didn't completely take it out of me.

Last week, I took the week off from work. I scheduled the vacation way back in January and just within the last couple of months, I ended up scheduling all kinds of stuff during my holiday.

I had my calendar booked solid with weddings and taking care of Maizey and Milo and birthday dinners and lunches.

Oh and did I mention I had The Boy from Monday through Thursday? Kids are kinda hard to take care of, huh?

So it was a busy week and part of the time, I was without internet access. But I'm back and promise a post every day this week.

I can't guarantee quality, but there will definitely be something here.

Thank you for all of your birthday greetings. I appreciate them all. The countdown is on. Only three-hundred sixty-two days until my birthday!

T-T-T-Totally Dude

Oh man. What a weekend!

I know you're expecting a full update, but right now I'm really tired.

And to tell you the truth, I remember thinking "I need to write about this!" a lot this weekend. But now, I can't seem to remember what it was I wanted to tell you.

I don't think my memory loss is due to my new friend, Malibu Coconut Rum. I think it's more about defective brain cells.

I promise I'll recap what I can remember (and what I haven't promised not to tell) soon. And in the meantime, here's a few pictures:

So Much Younger Than Today

You know how sometimes I just seem to drop off the face of the earth and don't post for long stretches of time?

Sometimes I don't feel like writing or I can't think of anything to write about. I'm trying to do better and am starting to stockpile stories to use if (and when!) writers' block hits again.

I wouldn't be surprised if my stockpile runs out soon. So I'm looking to you, dear readers. I'm asking for help in two different ways, for now.

First, make requests. My brain is old and I don't always remember things. Any requests will be reminders and provide me with fresh ideas.

Second I'm wondering if any of you would like to be a guest star here at Heart, Aunt Bee.

This is your chance to get back at me for any embarrassment I may have caused you in the past.

I just came up with this bright idea, so it's nothing I've fully planned out. Submit what you'd like; a movie review, a memory, a political rant or a complaint about me. I'll post it here at some point. It all depends on how many submissions I get and how much writers' block I have.

Email your requests and writings. If you're sending a story, be sure to include a photo of yourself, or I'll have to pick one out myself. Which may result in more embarrassment for you!

I'm going to predict maybe one guest entry per month. And that's aiming high!

But maybe you'll all surprised me. Perhaps you're all secret Shakespeares!

But just going off the number of comments I get, I don't think I'll set my hopes too high!

A Million Dollar Cranky World

After my last post, I received some response. Mostly in the form of two questions:

1. What about your one picture per day?
2. What happened in February?

The whole "Take One" resolution has been a failure. I was taking at least one photograph per day and thought I was posting them.

At some point, I realized that, due to some sort of glitch, my photos had not been posted.

Unable to figure out what the deal was, I dealt with frustration the way I usually do:

I quit.

So that's your answer to number one.

As for number two, I don't really know what my deal was.

I was really grumpy in February. I can't even really pinpoint any one reason why.

I was having some strange sleeping habits. i still am. The older I get, the more sleep it seems I need to stay in a decent mood. I say decent because I'm always a bit on the cranky side.

I also had some issues return. Issues I thought I was done with and was pretty much over. But with friends in common, it's hard to be totally done.

As before, I'm not going to give you all the details. But it brought up a lot of hurt and anger. Mostly because I'm a pansy.

I also went into a financial tailspin.

I read a story in the Wichita Eagle about a retired woman who was living on $12,000 a year! I couldn't believe it! How is that possible? I can't imagine even trying! My rent alone is over half that!

That lady gets $600 a month from Social Security. I'm sure we won't even have Social Security by the time I'm old enough to receive it!

So now I'm a crazy person. I will stay up all night looking at my pension and 401K and freak out about how I'm going to do it. I'm obsessed with the idea my retirement funds aren't enough.

So there you have it. My inadequate excuses for my worthlessness in the month of February.

Things will pick up. Tomorrow, I'll tell you about the strippers!

What Else Could I Write

Yes. I do know that I've been neglecting my duties. This poor place has been pretty empty.

I have my excuses, I guess. I've been putting in a lot of overtime at work. It's "tax season" and we're really busy.

After sitting at a computer for twelve hours a day at work, it's pretty hard to get in front of one at home and be entertaining.

Yeah yeah yeah . . . who said I was ever entertaining? I get it.

"So what about when you were on vacation?" You may ask. Well, maybe you hadn't heard. I was busy having a baby.

Okay, so it was more like sitting around waiting for him and then fighting to get a chance to poke him. And squeeze his cheeks. And running my fingers through his hair imagining how awesome it will be when it's styled in a mohawk.

This week, I've been babysitting the dogs. Sure, it sounds easy. Just stop by, throw some food and water in a couple of bowls and you're done.

Wrong.

Maizey and Milo are spoiled. They won't even eat unless there's someone standing there watching them.

And they're really used to someone being there all day. So when I show up, they flip out. I let them in the house and they attack me and then each other. I learned to open one door and the let them right out the other. They did all their show off fight moves outside. It was much safer. For me.

Especially since they drew blood the first night! Somehow, Maizey shoved her paw all the way up my nose and ripped the inside of my nostril up. It felt awesome!

I think that watching the dogs really helps prepare me for babysitting children, too. I'm learning patience and cleanliness.

I was cooking some rice for my dinner while I was at Chris and Jacque's the other night. My brother called me up and we discussed basketball and babies.

I was a little distracted and while stirring the rice, some of it popped out onto the floor.

"Dangit! I just dumped crap all over the floor! Eat it, pupies!"

"Oh that's great. Is that how you're going to watch my kid? 'Crap! I spilled stuff on the floor! Lick it up, kid!'"