The parade wasn't all I had hoped it would be.
It was okay. But the parade was only like five minutes long and the festival entertainment was like watching live karaoke.
It was kinda cool to see people getting kicked out for handing out pamphlets with statistics that contradicted themselves and telling people they were going to hell. But I was looking for flamboyance and sparkles and ABBA songs!
Instead I found mullets and giant belt buckles and only one ABBA song.
It's RiverFest again. Usually, I love living right on the river, but this time of year can be a real pain in the booty.
On Friday, my friend Jill gave me a cupcake on my way out of the office. We then walked out and bid each other good weekend.
And then, because my brain never works correctly, I called her up to tell her about a few things I had forgotten. I was still talking to her as I drove through downtown on Douglas.
I suddenly noticed there were a bunch of people lining the streets. They had lawnchairs and were wearing visors and holding giant turkey legs.
"Oh man! I'm driving right through Riverfest! They must be getting ready for the parade! I'm going to start waving!"
"Do you have any candy you can throw?"
"I have my cupcake!"
And oh man did I cackle at the thought of heaving that treat right at someone. There was so much frosting, there would be a ton of splatter and stick.
Happy Riverfest!
I've been doing a lot of getting together with people lately.
As many of you know from experience, I'm not a great communicator. I mean, I can talk and all . . . I'm just not good at keeping in touch. I don't call. I don't write. I'm a jerk. But somehow, the last couple of weeks seem to be full of reuiniting. Tonight, I got to hang out for like five minuteswith my friend from back home, Jennifer. We haven't seen each other in over five years. Jen was my anchor when I lived in Lawrence. We started the college experience together, as roommates. It didn't take long for us to make other friends and start hanging out with separate crowds. But Jen was always just a phone call away. Like when my car wouldn't start. Or when it was Winter Break and we were the only souls left in Lawrence. Or when she needed someone to go to traffic court with her. I raced east to fit in a quick bite with Jen and her friend Holly. They were going to the seven o'clock movie, so by the time I made my way through traffic, we had like five minutes to hang out. Holly is a hair stylist and asked me where I get my hair did and offered to give me her card. It was a tempting offer--she works at a place called The Bee Hive!--but I'd never cheat on Tonya! Tonya was the first on my reunion list. I took her to Sumo for birthday sushi. I was only about a month late on that dinner . . . About a week after her birthday dinner, Tonya sent me a text message. "Do you want to come in for a cut on Saturday?" I laughed and replied. "Are you implying I need a cut?" I did. I'm horrible about keeping up with my hair. I know it drives Tonya crazy. But she managed to salvage some hair and gave me an awesome cut. It's pretty short and I still feel kinda naked, but I love it. It's too bad I waited so long. I could've been totally hot for the second birthday celebration at Sumo I attended. Nadia was turning fifty and gathered a bunch of people together to sing to her. I was pretty nervous because I hadn't seen many of these people in quite some time. And it's not even my fault! I had actually made an effort with most of them. Well, for longer than I normally put effort into things. Payback, right? I ended up having a pretty good time. I arrived early and headed back to the bar to calm my nerves. Chad and Chris were already at a table. I pulled Chris up to the bar with me. I told the bartender that I wanted a Black Russian. "And she needs a menu because she'll have something girly." And she did. Chris ordered a Madame Butterfly and a Panty Dropper for Chad. The party eventually made its way over to the tables. I ended up by the birthday girl. The waiter introduced himself as Todd and said "I'm great, thanks!" Nadia and I turned to each other with the same thought. "Did anyone ask him?" "No," She answered. "Does anyone care?" Allie was there with her boyfriend, Bryan. This was really quite a miracle. Why? Well, it's not often that Allie has a boyfriend. It's not that she doesn't like boys. She loves boys! Allie's just not a relationship kind of girl. Yet, somehow Bryan and Allie have been an item for around eight months. It's seriously a world record for her! This was my first time meeting Bryan and I can see why he's lasted. He's very smiley and super friendly, just like Allie. And he has firm buns. How do I know? I grabbed them. I know. I'm embarrassed. I guess I calmed my nerves too much. Tasha sat beside me, too. She didn't bring her boyfriend, Gabe. I guess she didn't want me to molest him. At the end of the night, Tasha was loading a box with food to bring to Gabe. We gave her the leftover sushi to throw in. Gabe was going to have quite a snack! A few days later, Tasha sent out a text message. "I'M ENGAGED!!!" I congratulated her and told her that it was all because of the sushi. Hey--after ruining an engagement, I'm going to jump at the chance to say I helped with one!
So you would think that a person who owns her own karaoke machine would have sang karaoke outside of her home at least once.
You would be wrong, though. At least in my case. I've come very close many times. I've just never been brave enough. Once, when I was back home, my parents and I were hanging out at a bar when the karaoke guy came in. I was looking through one of his books to find a song to sing and he kept hollering at me to see if I'd chosen yet. Of course, I was taking forever. Those books are huge, though! And I love a lot of songs, so it was hard to choose. I finally decided to sing this one: Oh you know you would totally sing along! When the Karaoke Master looked my way, I was all prepared to go up and perform. But when he asked me if I was ready, he was really mean about it. I know, you think I was just looking for an excuse. But you can ask my parents! He was really really mean about it! So he scared me away and I've gone live performanceless. My manager, Angela, recently got a promotion. Unfortunately, that means she's going to Topeka. So we decided to have a going away party for her. Angela begged everyone to sing something for her. Tiffany went first and sang "Strawberry Wine." Yuck. A few other, really good people performed. Eventually I mustered up some guts (and some drinks) and threw my name into the hat. For Angela. The whole time grumbling "She'd better appreciate this!" I'm pretty sure Wichita has never seen such a fabulous performance of this song:
At the wedding party, the flower girls walked around handing out packets of flower seeds.
I got my packet and thanked the girls. They went on their merry way. There was a lot of ground to cover.
Since I was taking pictures, I was moving around a lot. The girls caught me and tried to hand me another packet. Not wanting them to run out of seeds, I tried to decline. "Oh! Thank you! But you already gave me a packet." The girls stood bewildered. Their faces looked up at me in an almost angry fashion. Being awkward around kids I don't know, I got scared. "thank you, though! You're doing an awesome job! You look pretty!" None of this pleased them and on they went. I felt bad Back at my table, I noticed the girls heading my way again. I started getting nervous. "Surely they know they already covered our table." Surely not! This time, I just took the seeds. I didn't want to rouse their anger again! Later that night, Chad was sitting with us and picked up someone's packet of seeds. "Did you all get some of these?" We told him we all had about ten of them. I guess I didn't need to worry about the girls running out. "These are the prettiest flowers," Chad said. "Are we going to throw them at you when you leave?" Chad looked at me like I was crazy and laughed. And I was joking back then. But now that I think about it, it's not such a bad idea. Wouldn't it just be lovely on your anniversary to go back and see a bunch of flowers marking the spot where you made your grand entrance to the world as a married couple? That is, if someone hasn't mowed them down!
Doll was supposed to be my drinking buddy last weekend.
Normally, Doll doesn't want to play my reindeer games. "you're a big girl, now. You can go by yourself." But we both had bad weeks leading up to the party last weekend and were looking forward to letting loose and having fun. Unfortunately, Doll had a headache and wouldn't drink with me. Marcus and I kept trying to change her mind. "Want some champagne? It's just a little glass!" She continued to refuse but much later in the night, she got to feeling better. Doll headed to the bar for some Patron. "Never heard of it!" Keep in mind, this bartender (mostly) knew how to make a Black Russian, so he wasn't totally clueless. "It's tequila." "I just got back from Mexico and I've never heard of it." Doll wouldn't settle for anything less, so she came back to the table empty handed and grumpy. When we got back to the hotel, Marcus, Mitch, Doll, BJ and I headed to the party room to wait for the rest of the after-party revelers. I headed over to have a chat with my new friend, Malibu, while Doll got herself some Patron. Doll is pretty hardcore. She shoots that stuff down and doesn't even flinch. It's awesome. Marcus and I kept chanting "Doll! Doll! Doll! Doll!" as we ponded the tables like drunken frat boys. She drank half the bottle in less than half an hour. When I decided it was time to head upstairs and into bed, Marcus and Doll came with me. Marcus was hungry. "Let's go to Denny's Doll!" "Yeah, Doll! Let's go to Denny's!" We kept begging her. I'm not really sure why. I don't know how we thought we would get there. None of us was in driving condition. yet on and on we begged as we followed her down the hall. "Listen," she said as she turned around and pointed her finger at Marcus. "There are two of you . . ." "Uh oh," I thought. "Here comes another 'You're a big girl' lecture." She turned her finger my way. "And I can also see two of you. I've got to go to bed."
Crazy party fact:
At this party, and a lot of the family wedding parties I've been to, a lot of the younger crowd left really early and the older folks stuck it out.
You think you know how to party? You're wrong. Your grandma knows how to party.
My cousin Chad is the nicest guy ever.
He's the kind of guy that after just meeting, you'd feel like you've known him for years. He has a great smile and gives the best hugs. When I was a youngin' my friends would see pictures of Chand and swoon. "He's so cute! Don't you want to kiss him?" Talking to Jill about this recently, it turns out her friends had the same reaction. She and I had the same answer for our friends: No. We did not want to make out with him. We knew he was a good-lookin' guy and all, but c'mon! He's our cousin! I remember when my family headed down to Borger, By God Texas to visit, he and I would stay up all night talking. I don't have a clue what we talked about. Probably Achy Breaky Heart. It was the only thing on the radio down there. One one of these nights, we watched television in his bedroom. We were resting with our heads on opposite ends of the bed. "While you're down there," he suggested. "How about a foot massage?" He stuck his foot into my face, which totally grossed me out. But I kept my cool. I shoved my foot near his face. "That sounds awesome!" And you know what? If I wasn't a freak about hating it when people touch my feet, Chad totally would have rubbed them. He's just that nice. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that (unless he has me completely fooled) Chad is a good boy. And he deserves a girl to match. We weren't sure if KayLyn fit that bill. Chad grew up in a household full of OU fans. A lot of the rest of our family are also Sooner fans. Some of us aren't. But I can guarantee you none of us are Texas fans. But KayLyn is. I wasn't sure it could last. Especially after she wore a Texas jersey to the Red River Shootout. BJ says Doug just about blew a fuse when he saw that one. Doug got her back this weekend. He called her up and told us all a story about that wretched jersey. Then he handed her a package. Can you guess what was in it? That's right. It was a shiny crimson and cream jersey. "Boomer Sooner" started playing and Doug started doing high kicks. KayLyn even danced, which was cool. Until she brought out the hook 'em horns signal. Aside from that major flaw, KayLyn seems like a good match. I had only met her once before, but she treated me like an old friend. And she didn't even mind when I used my phone to take pictures of her in the bathroom! She's full of smiles and hugs and seems to take our family's mean humor well, and even gives back. I had a great time celebrating with them this weekend. I wish for them many great times and happiness for the future. Oh! And many trips to Kansas!
Oh man. What a weekend!
I know you're expecting a full update, but right now I'm really tired. And to tell you the truth, I remember thinking "I need to write about this!" a lot this weekend. But now, I can't seem to remember what it was I wanted to tell you. I don't think my memory loss is due to my new friend, Malibu Coconut Rum. I think it's more about defective brain cells. I promise I'll recap what I can remember (and what I haven't promised not to tell) soon. And in the meantime, here's a few pictures:
My uncle BJ is a bit anal at times. Other times, he goes completely opposite. For example, lets talk about his issues with littering the yard. One day, I was hanging out at their place. I drank a can of Dr Pepper and set my can down beside me. "You'd better throw that out!" BJ ordered. Too lazy to get up right away, I brushed him off. "I'll get it later." As the afternoon went on (which means, every five minutes), BJ would remind me that my can was still sitting there. "I'll get it!" I kept telling him as I rolled my eyes. He's like that. He'll keep badgering you until you give in to his demands. But I'm stubborn. So anything he asks me to do usually doesn't get done until just before I leave. After I got home that night, I called BJ. "I forgot to throw out my pop can!" "I know! I'm gonna kill you!" "I can't believe it! I meant to get it! I just forgot!" "It was like a movie! i saw it and it's like I zoomed in on it!" No really. He was that angry. He still brings it up several years later. But then he takes the other road. Like during my first Fourth of July in Wichita. I was trying to be a good girl and got up from my lawn chair to throw my bottle in the recycling bin. BJ stopped me. "Throw it in the yard like you're supposed to!" I did as I was told and continued to throw my bottles and cans into the yard for the rest of the night. At the end of the holiday, the yard had quite a display of used fireworks and litter. You can see, now, how it's hard to tell where BJ will stand when it comes to litter. At Mitch's graduation party, our family mostly hung out in the back yard. When we would finish a drink, we'd toss the bottle in the corner of the yard. When BJ came back, he flipped out and started picking them up. Of course we laughed and as soon as BJ turned to walk away, another bottle flew by him. "Who threw that?" He left to mingle with people in the front yard and we continued to litter the back yard. Jeremy must be getting old. Instead of joining in the fun, he would pick up our trash and throw it away. Luckily, he couldn't keep up and eventually surrendered. As the day went on and Jill drank more beer, the more obsessed she got with throwing bottles. She was a maniac! She would zero in on a person getting ready to finish their drink and hover until she could snatch it away and toss it clear across the yard. If anyone left their bottle around for more than five minutes, she'd claim it. And if neither of those opportunities were presented, she'd chug her beer and toss it. All through this, BJ would yell "Who threw that? I'm serious . . ." The way he yelled and crouched down to pick the bottles up brought glee to our evil hearts. I went to the garage to grab another drink and noticed the bottle and can bin was full. I hatched a brilliant plan and shared it with Jill. "We should go grab the bin and dump it all over the yard!" Of course Jill was all into the idea. Joe, not so much. He and Jeremy must think they're mature or something. Joe kept trying to talk us out of it. Like we would listen! We hurried over to the garage just in time to see BJ bagging the trash. But we didn't give up. We decided to wait for him to bring around the bag and just pull crap from that. Jingle. Giggle. CLANK! We weren't very quiet about getting the bottles. We grabbed as many as our little hands could hold and rushed off to scatter them in the yard. But that wasn't enough. We went back for more. As we clanked and clattered with BJ standing just a few feet away in the garage, we laughed our bums off about how clever we were. "What's that noise?" We were caught! Somehow BJ had heard our bottles clanging at eleventy billion decibels.. "Who's back there? What's going on?" Jill and I ran for our lives, still clutching some bottles. We rounded the corner of the house and I, thinking Jill would take the same rout she had before, got rid of the evidence. I dropped the bottles one by one as I ran. Turns out Jill hadn't gone her old route. She stayed right behind me and as I dropped each bottle, she had to hurdle them to keep from falling. She thought I was trying to pin everything on her. "Who did this?" BJ demanded to know. Apparently, he couldn't figure us out as the culprits even though we were laughing and peeing ourselves like we did when we were three. He was pretty grumpy at us when he put it together. "I'll remember this. I won't forget how you treated your poor Unckie." "Oh please. You'd think it was hilarious if it wasn't your yard!" Very quietly, BJ admitted "Yeah. But don't do it again!" This weekend, my dad's side of the family is getting together for the first time since that fiasco. My cousin Chad got married last weekend and we're celebrating this weekend. Do you think it will be rude if we throw our finished drinks on the Elks Lodge floor?
I'm too tired to write much, but I wanted to make sure a certain someone had pictures to see.
Hey you! Yeah you know who you are. Click here to see pictures of Mitch's graduation party.
No, no. I haven't disappeared into oblivion, yet. I've been busy baby showering.
When I told my friend Christine that I was having a baby shower, her first thought was "Who put her in charge of a baby shower???"
It really isn't an unusual thought. I'm pretty non-girly most of the time, and don't have a whole lot of experience with this stuff.
So, I of course start out going totally overboard. I think of about one thousand games and all kinds of decorations.
I even made poor Jacque help me make snow globes out of baby food jars.
Last week, I got to thinking about the cake. And how my last experience serving cake turned into a total disaster.
"Doll? Will you cut the cake at the shower?"
"I'm not cutting the cake!"
"But I can't do it! I won't cut it into the right sizes and I'll run out and do you remember what happened last time I tried to serve cake???"
She sighed. "I'll cut the damn cake."
It turns out the cake had little grooves in it to help guide the cutting. So I didn't really need Doll to do the cutting. But I made her do it, anyway!
She was a big help all day, actually. She and my mom catered to my insanity while helping me set up the room.
"I think I liked the cake better on the other side. Can you move it back?"
It really ended up being a pretty simple shower. I didn't do any crazy games, but had plenty of door prizes.
My Aunt Deb won the first prize and started it off right by giving the gift to Tasia, instead.
Doll had her eye on one of the prizes and didn't like it that Deb gave hers away. "That's gonna make me look bad when I keep mine!"
We had a smaller turn-out than I had originally anticipated. Some people that had sent their RSVP backed out at the last minute. Apparently, it's that time of the year and a lot of them were sick. Including Tasia's mother and sister.
They live in Sublette and apparently, there's some super virus running through that town. I know Tasia was disappointed they couldn't be there. We all were. We've been excited about finally meeting The Boy's other grandparents and aunt. But I can't say I was too disappointed. I didn't want them giving me the virus!
I enjoyed seeing several people I hadn't talked to in quite awhile. All the "townies" showed up, at least long enough to say "Hello!"
I was trying to be the hostess with the mostest and chat with each guest. I was also running around taking pictures, writing down presents and serving cake.
I didn't cut it, but I had to serve it!
As the shower wound down, I would grab something to pick it up. Then I would get distracted, telling someone goodbye and thanks. By the time everyone had left, I looked around and Doll, Deb and Grandma Peggy had already cleaned everything up. That's the way I like to clean!
You should have seen the pile of crap The Boy got! It's ridiculous! He's not even born yet and already incredibly spoiled!
Have I ever mentioned how awesome my family is? Because they are. Thanks for helping with and without being asked.
And thanks for the presents. Marcus will enjoy playing with all the toys!
You can see the ridiculous amount of pictures I took by clicking here.
