Thinking out Loud and Acting in Vain

Chris, Jacque, Casey, Raw and a Pitcher
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

The first time Raw and Casey met Chris and Jacque (she has a baby in her!), we all went to hang out at Scotch.

Scotch & Soda is a bar near Chris and Jacque's that has karaoke every Saturday night. There's a strange mix of people there; young and old, cowboy and R&B, drunk and sober. It certainly makes for a crazy mix of karaoke singers!

The Scotch was full on this particular night and we were having a good time booing (but always applauding at the end, because they had the cajones to get up there) for the singers. The table next to us was having an equally good time so we ended up merging.

One couple from that table got up to sing "Piano Man" and while they were singing, Jacque leaned over and said "He got a ring for her today!"

The couple was cute; one of those opposites attract kind of couples. He was tall, dark and beefy. She was small, blonde and bony. He was boisterous and loud. She was quiet and shy.

So when they came back to the table to our applause, he started talking to everyone and she sat next to me, quiet and looking bored. Of course it was up to me to start conversation!

Not normally one to go ga-ga over engagement rings, but knowing it would be a big deal, I started off with something I thought she'd be excited to talk about.

"I hear you got a ring today!"

The table froze and everyone just looked at me. I didn't understand why.

The girl looked at me, confused. "Me?"

Ignoring glares, I answered. "Yes, you! I heard you got a ring today!"

Jacque practically leaped across the table, flinging her ring finger in my face. "No! That was me! You must be wasted!"

I was totally confused, since I knew Jacque had already had her ring for almost a year. So I sat and realized I may have pulled a big no-no.

The couple left soon after my awesome conversation starter and they weren't two feet from the table before everyone started yelling at me. Apparently, the boy had merely bought the ring that day. He wasn't proposing until the next weekend.

We never talked to any of those people again, but I still wonder if the proposal went the way it was originally intended.

Note to everyone: Make sure if you're telling me a secret, you make sure I know it's a secret!

But Don't Tell Me what We Won't Have Fun

Richard
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

Last Friday, Nadia left her children in the care of Cassie and me. So what did we do? We took them to Merlin's and let her husband, Don and son, Joshua do all the work!

From the mouths of babes:

"There's no eating in the car! You'll get salt and pepper all over! And never eat chicken nuggets! Oh, God she's eating the hamburger!"

"Wait! You can't go without an adult!"

"I'm gonna be just like my dad, so I eat vegetables and fruits! No candy! No junk food!"
"My dad eats those things."

"Howcome I have to go last?"
"You don't. You already went first."
"I always go first!"

"Oh God! He's gonna drink the water in the car! I have to close my eyes!"

"Did you guys have fun playing with Joshua all night?"
"Who's Joshua?"

Click here to see pictures of the catastrophe.

I am so Beautiful, to Me!

Marcus and Dad
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

A couple of years ago, my dad was really sick. The doctors couldn't seem to pinpoint anything and just kept giving him different antibiotics and such. Several words were thrown around; flu, mono, West Nile, but none seemed to quite fit the bill.

I think his body just finally broke down and one night, while alone at home, Dad had a minor stroke.

When he went to the doctor (the next day because he's incredibly stubborn!), they freaked and sent him immediately to Salina, where he spent several days in the Intensive Care Unit.

With machines beeping at him every 5 seconds and his veins full of morphine and various other drugs; when we weren't sure if he knew where he was, let alone who he was, my dad looked at me with clear eyes and said

"Happy birthday. Sorry about this."

In much less remarkable circumstances, I'm remembering your birthday today, Dad. Just because I gave you your presents a week early doesn't mean I'm off the hook, right?

Happy birthday, Daddy!

Sorry I've Started to Sound Real Crass

ZAP!
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

Today I saw a commercial for the upcoming War of the Worlds film. I started to think about what it would be like if all that really happened.

I concluded I would crap my pants.

I was talking to a friend, and he informed me of Stephen Hawking's prediction of what will happen if Earth were to be invaded--we're screwed.

There were many theories thrown around, including one about intergalactic aliens that swallow whole galaxies in one gulp. Which made me decide we're already in the belly of one and that's where our ozone layer is going. It's being eaten up by alien tummy acids!

He also mentioned that while he's not preparing for the invasion, such ideas aren't totally ridiculous. It's a big universe and people are more interested in Paris Hilton and real estate investments. "We're totally oblivious to everything but our own little backyard."

It's so incredibly true! I see examples of it all the time at the bank!

There's the man who doesn't understand we have branches nationwide, so when you ask him if he opened his account in Kansas, he screams "No! I opened my account in Alaska!!! . . . Of COURSE I opened it in Kansas!" and then goes on to tell you to kiss his ass.

There's the woman who comes in during the busiest part of the day when we're already short-handed and wants to know why it's taking so long to cash her checks? Nevermind the other people in line . . . she comes first!

There's the man who is too busy screaming at us about how we're crooks to notice how embarrassed and sad and near-tears his daughter is.

Of course, maybe I'm the one being narrow-minded. I'm so busy worrying about welcoming aliens that I'm not concerned with everyone else's lives!

ps--In reference to the "kiss my ass" comment, Cassie said "You should have told him to shave a spot!"

'Cause Lord Knows I'm to Blame

Ouch
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

Last Friday, as I was driving to Clay Center, two birds swooped down in front of the Croc.

This happens all the time. The birds dive down and change course just in time to avoid being hit. I think it's like humans bungee jumping; they're just out to get their kicks in a near-death experience.

Except this time, it wasn't a near experience. I just happened to look in my rear-view mirror and saw the poor thing bouncing along. I couldn't believe it! I hadn't even felt any impact on my car! I hadn't even heard anything!

So now I'm wondering how many of those birds I thought I had missed had really been destroyed?

I feel like I'm driving an anti-bird tank!

It Seems Like Years Since it's Been Clear

Sunset
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

Oh man oh mandid we get a lot of rain the last few weeks! It's been wonderful to see the sun! Sure it's hot, but the sky is blue!

The river is to the hilt nowdays. It was higher than I've ever seen it in the almost four years I've lived in this apartment. I was beginning to worry about the Croc!

We went from this . . .

. . . and this . . .

. . . to this . . .

I Forgot my Shirt at the Water's Edge

Ryan
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

Last summer, to celebrate Lindsay's last day with the bank, we all headed down the street to the Lakeshore Chalet.

The Chalet is a two-story bar and grill. The back of the building faces a small lake. There's a beach in back with a volleyball court and a ton of geese wandering around.

Well, there was of course, a bit o' imbibing and Ryan, being the smooth operator that he is, had several of the Chalet ladies drooling over him.

It was raining for most of the night, but late in the party, the drizzle let up and we all headed outside. Ryan was still fending off the advances of drunken ladies. One grabbed him by the arm to try to lead him to the lake for a late-night swim. She pulled, he stood his ground and his shirt couldn't hold up to the opposing forces. It ripped with a loud tearing noise, practically in half down the front.

This shirt was a nice, probably expensive piece of clothing. Did I gasp and try to fix it? Of course not! I almost fell down and wet my pants I was laughing so hard.

I barely had time to recover before Ryan, giving up the resistance, ran to the lake taking off his shirt. Next came the pants and before I knew it, Ryan was running bare-butt into the lake.

Oh I've laughed a good many laughs. I've had times when I've been scared I'll never breathe again, I'm laughing so hard. But I'm not sure I'ver ever laughed as heartily as I did that night.

Saturday is Ryan's birthday, and since I'm off to see the new Batman, I'll be missing out on the big party. but as you can see, I don't think Ryan needs me around to have a good time.

I do wish him the happiest of birthdays, though. I just hope it ends up a little less messy than his twenty-first!

Happy Birthday, R-Unit!

And I'm the Wildest in the City

Marcus
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

Tomorrow I'm going back home to the CC.

Awww . . . Isn't that just incredibly nice of me? Going home for Fathers' Day? I really am just the best daughter, aren't I?

Except I'm not going home for Fathers' Day. I have other plans and luckily, Fathers' Day just happens to be the same weekend.

Saturday, Marcus and I are going to see Batman Begins. Seems like no big deal until you find out that we've had plans to see the movie for over a year.

As soon as I heard they were making a new Batman and it was going to have a decent director, I told Marcus we would be going together. Even weirder, we've planned a whole evening around it. We're doing the whole dinner, movie get wasted thing.

Any bets on whether or not we go in costume?

Not in my Castle on a Cloud

IntoTheStorm
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

It's really really hot outside. When it's this hot, I leave all my shades closed to try to keep it cool in here.

Tonight, I came home, knowing there were some big clouds building. But once I was inside, I was oblivious as to what was going on other than what I saw on radar.

A little after eight, I happened to look out one of my windows that faces the west and was amazed at the clouds I saw.

Sometimes you look up to the sky and see giant fluffly clouds backlit by the sun which creates a view of what must surely be heaven. Then you realize the only reason you're able to see such a view is that people in an area near you are going through hell.

I ran outside and took several pictures of the clouds building around Wichita while funnel clouds were dropping out of the sky in the county just north of us.

I caught this picture of a plane (Hello Air Capital of the World!) but didn't catch a funnel cloud. Lucky for my safety.

But oh so unlucky for the thrill of the photographic hunt!

How Sweet the Sound

Landon and Laikyn
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

Saturday, we gathered at the lake to celebrate the twins' first birthday.

I hitched a ride with BJ, Doll and the kiddos. Mitch drove us most of the way, which was more cool than scary because we actually got to listen to music. We could actually hear the music. And it wasn't the same song over and over and over.

When we arrived, the party was going full-force. Jeremy was manning the grill while all the other guys drank beer and observed.

When asked if he could believe it had been a year, Jeremy told us "You know, I was just telling Sharon that it seems like it's only been a year since we've been married but eighteen years since we've had the kids."

Inside the cabin, the pool table was serving as a giant buffet full of food. There was a giant pile of presents and an inflatable pool set up in the corner.

Landon was taking a nap, preparing for his big day. His sister, proving she definitely belongs to our family, was too distracted by the party to sleep.

Once all the burgers and dogs were cooked, everyone rushed inside. BJ was holding Landon and Laikyn was in the pool, ready to eat.

We stood around, shushed each other and finally everyone was quiet. Getting everyone quiet is a miracle so Jill rushed to say Grace.

"Bless us,
oh Lord,
and these--"

Then BJ, always the child never paying attention, calls across the room "See, Doll? We could have another one of these!"

While the Leaves Still Dance on the Wind

This is like the inside of my brain.
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

I'm getting pretty old. My mind is starting to go.

My brain kind of works like a hungover 21 year-old. It will remember a spark of something or someone will remind me and suddenly the whole memory will come rushing back. "Oh yeah! I did that! Oh no! I totally did that!"

So Heart, Aunt Bee is basically a place for me to have a record of all these memories. They're kind of stupid and full of inside jokes. They're pretty unworthy and weird. But they're my memories and they're special to me. I've gotta store the cheese somewhere!

What brings this all up? Well, the other day, when talking to Allie Allie Bo Ballie in the drive, I had this totally random memory.

The birthday I had during my stay at University Terrace fell on a Saturday. Perfect for a birthday party, yes? Even more perfect? The Jayhawk Music Festival was scheduled for the same weekend. There were going to be a bunch of my friends from home piling into town for the double fests!

I was in an especially entertaining mood and was flying from group to group, eating ice cream cake and having good times. Most of my really good friends showed up, including Raw, John and Jaxon.

Raw, John and Jaxon are THE friends I took from my first year in Lawrence. They are the most important and the only ones I keep any kind of regular contact with.

We knew things were going to be different. This was our second year in Lawrence and I was living off-campus. Jaxon was getting into the theatre program and getting friends in different circles. We were just heading different directions in the way all friends end up doing. You can't hang out every night playing legos together your whole life!

During that birthday party, with so many different circles of friends hanging out with us, I think it really began to sink into our four heads. Things were really changing. We really weren't going to be able to just jog up the stairs to pop our heads in to visit.

So we did what any normal foursome would do and locked ourselves in the bathroom. The four of us piled in the bathtub and sprawled on the floor, ignoring the pleas and beatings upon the door.

It really is one of the most fun and sweetest birthday memories ever!

I Don't Mind not Knowing What I'm Headed for

I ate Nadia's Almond Joy
Originally uploaded by YourAuntBee.

I have a problem with impulse shopping. If I was rich, it wouldn't really be a big deal. Unfortunately, I am dirt poor!

I'm poor enough that most of my impulses don't make it out of the store. I'll see something I love and ooh it's on sale! I'll throw it in the cart and move along. Every now and then, I'll stop and take a look at it. "Hmmm, maybe I don't really need this."

Most times, I'll put the item back where it goes. Common sense has prevailed! There's other times, though, when the item is coveted enough to continue to blind me. I'll make it to the check-out lanes. While waiting, I'll start staring at it some more. "You can't afford this!"

Almost always, this is the last test. I'll turn around and put it back. "What could I have been thinking?" Almost always.

Now and then I make it all the way to my home with the precious. Then the terrible feeling of dread. "What is wrong with me? Why would I buy this? I don't even like this stupid thing! I need to take it back!"

Of course, there are times when impulse shopping turns out okay. Take, for instance, The Magic Bullet. That was impulse, BIG time. But I've used it more than any other blender and it's still holding up. It really is the best chile maker I've ever had!

Sometimes people have the tendency to let impulses run their lives, too. I think they call it "instinct" or "gut feeling." Maybe "looking before you leap." Or even "What the hell are you doing, you big dummy???"

It seems that when a person is feeling really low, ignored, brave, cornered, helpless, sad, happy, frustrated, in love or any of the other strong or even not so strong emotions, one will act upon a crazy whim. There's no thought paid to how it will affect the people and situations around said person. There's no real study of how the future may be shaped by one impulsive decision.

If that person is lucky, everything turns out for the best and everyone is happy. Hopefully, when the decison is a dumb one, that person has enough time to change their minds and voice their regret before everything comes crashing down.

And if you're really lucky, I won't stay grumpy about your crazy ideas for more than a day.