Wrong Place Wrong Car

Saturday, BJ and I headed to Lawrence for the KU vs. KSU football game. Unlike last week, I left the purple at home and donned crimson and blue.

If you've ever been to KU's campus, you know that there is very little parking. When you have a record crowd of 51,821 people jamming themselves into Memorial Stadium, the little parking available might-as-well be non-existent!

I had decided it would be easiest to park at Raw and Casey's apartment complex. Sure, it was a good mile or so away, and walking back would be pretty much all uphill, but we wouldn't get stuck for hours just to get out of our parking place.

BJ was a little uneasy about the idea. He was afraid that without a parking permit, his vehicle would get towed. It took Casey and me about twenty minutes to convince him otherwise.

The game was pretty cool. I'll have more to tell you once the pictures decide to upload correctly.

We made it up the hill after the game and lo and behold . . . the car was gone!

No. It wasn't. But can you imagine what BJ's face would've looked like?

The next day, Raw called me.

"I just have to know something."

Am I the only one who thinks comments like that sound ominous?

"Did you have a note on your car when you left last night?"

"Noo . . .?"

"What does BJ drive?"

I tried to figure out why she was asking. I was figuring someone had complained about the big SUV in the lot.

"Is it black?"

"No. It's red. Did you put a note on the car?"

Raw giggled in her oh-man-I'm-so-embarassed way. "Yes! I wrote up a note about how you had to have a permit to park in this lot! 'Remove your vehicle before it is towed,' I wrote! I put it on the car that had a bunch of K-State stuff on it!"

We got a good laugh and then I called BJ immediately. He had about two chuckles before he said "She's even stupider than you! If that's possible!"

Take a Look Around, Look What I've Found

Go Tifanny! Go!

Through Her Window

Tonight I was talking with Marcus. We were discussing the upcoming arrival of The Boy.

As if I didn't already have enough birthdays to remember in March, my nephew is due March 8.

My brother's birthday is March 23. And apparently, he's come up with a genius plan.

"I've decided I'm going to tape her hole up so she can't have the baby until my birthday."

Tasia, mark this on your to do list: Teach The Boy the birds and the bees before Marcus does.

But I Don't Know How to Connect

As Jacque and Chris walked out the door, leaving me to babysit the boy, Jacque gave me some bad news.

"He hasn't pooped, yet. I'm sorry. Usually he does it after his milk, but he didn't. I'm sorry."

So I was really looking forward to a lovely day!

I had two hours to play with Evan until his normalish nap time of 10:30. I fed him his cereal and off to the living room (or as I like to call it, the crammed-full-with-toys room) to play.

Now that he has decided to walk, he does so with passion. Back and forth and forth and back, with no particular destination; he's pretty non-stop.

He kept walking back toward the bedrooms. This was, of course, out of my sight. But I've found the key is not to chase him down immediately. This makes him feel you're not giving him independence and he starts howling.

So I'd let him go, listening for bumps and crashes, then would follow a few minutes later. Everytime I found him, I would have to holler and clap like I'd made some amazing discovery. Then Evan would laugh and I'd scoop him up and "fly" him back to the living room.

This went on for quite awhile. At 9:30, he went tottering back with a particularly giant look of glee on his face. I waited my standard few moments, then headed to the back hallway.

I heard a sound in his bedroom and peeked in to see him standing in the middle of his room with his blanket and pacifier already in his mouth.

I stepped into the doorway and he rushed to the chair and patted it.

He hasn't yet learned the word "nap" but he's awfully good at communicating when he wants one!

Evan took a nap and woke up. We played some more. He ate some more. And yet, still . . . no stinky diapers.

I was preparing myself for a giant one!

We were just playing around when he stopped in his tracks. I wondered what he was looking at; staring off into space.

Then the smell hit me. Ugh.

We headed back to his bedroom and just as I got him to his changing table, I heard a noise from the front of the house.

"Hey guys! You made it back just in time to change a poopy diaper!"

Are You Hangin' on the Edge of Your Seat?

Friday night, I called my dad to find out what was going on the next day for the KSU vs Texas football game.

My mom answered, so I talked to her for probably ten minutes before I asked to talk to Dad. Then I talked to him for ten more minutes.

"Here's your mom!"

So I talked to my mom for another ten minutes up to this point:

"I'm on vacation next week."

"Oh that's right! What are you going to do?"

"Well, on Wednesday, I'm babysitting Evan."

"Oh I forgot you told me that. Speaking of . . . did you know you're going to be an aunt for real?"

You're a Bad Kitty

I'm on vacation for the next few days. So I'm at home for daytime television.

I was watching Days of Our Lives this afternoon when I heard Hope say to Bo "No woman wants to believe she's carrying the child of a murderer."

Pretty funny dialogue, right? It's like, the peak of awesome scripting!

But it gets better!

Kayla is dying of some disease. The daughter says to Patch "You're not going to let anything happen to her are you?"

And then . . .

Oh man I can barely type this it's so funny!

Patch points at his face and gets all serious.

"Look into my eye . . ."

I'm Not No Whipping Boy for You

This weekend, I went to the KSU vs Texas football game in Manhattan.

I hate Texas. But they're pretty unbeatable when it comes to football. I was assuming this game wasn't going to be much of anything. KSU hasn't been playing too well this year. I was planning on leaving in the third quarter.

And with as much as it appeared KSU wanted to win, it also seemed like they were trying really hard to lose. Several times they gave Texas the ball within the ten-yard line.

But, by some miracle, KSU made some beautiful plays and won 45-42. It was probably the best game I have ever attended. If not the best game, certainly the best third quarter!

You can see the few pictures I took here. I was jumping up and down too much to get any good ones.

The worst part of the game was that my dad and I were right beside the Texas band. I hope I never hear "I've Been Workin' on the Railroad" ever again. And I have never ever heard so much cowbell in all my life.

That ends the love I have for this clip:

Ah. What am I talkin' about? I could never quit loving "More cowbell!"

Take a Look Around, Look What I've Found

I just found this in the morning, but I'm obsesssed.

LikeBetter isn't really a game. It's not even some sort of personality quiz. I'm not sure what to label to give it.

It shows you two pictures. You choose which one you like the best. After "voting" for awhile, the brain at the bottom will start throbbing pink. Click on it, and it will tell you things about yourself.

At first, I was assuming it would tell me things like "You like friends."

Instead it's weird things like the above picture. It's so true!

It hasn't been 100% correct; it told me I was a Scorpio. How weird is it, though, that it could figure something like my study habits by which pictures I like?

Try it. Maybe it will tell you something you didn't know.

And There's Reason to Believe

Michael sent me a text message today that read simply "Vote!"

I called him once I got out of work to berate him.

"Of course I voted! What's wrong with you? I'm even wearing a red, white and blue striped shirt! And star earrings!"

"Dork!"

This, coming from the kid who left work early so he could glue himself to the election results.

Not that I'm denying the dork in me. It's way too apparent. The dork in me was excited enough to get me up early so I could vote.

Read this one twice: I voted before eight in the morning.

Unbelievable, right?

About as unbelievable as the amount of people voting for Mark Foley. These are the same people who wanted Clinton impeached for messing around with an intern.

At least she was legal!

Mostly, though, I'm coming out of this election night with some hope.

It was a big night for women. Nancy Pelosi will now serve as the Speaker of the House. That means if Bush chokes on a pretzel and dies, then Cheney has a heart attack while trying to revive him, the United States would have a female president.

Kansas not only voted in a Democrat governor, it was for a second term. That means Kathleen Sebelius will be the first woman to serve a second term as Governor of Kansas.

Surprisingly, Kansas not only went Democrat for governor, they also voted in two Democrats for House Representatives. In one race, Nancy Boyda had a big win over a Kansas legend, Jim Ryun.

In my favorite win of the night, Paul Morrison has kicked Kline out of the attorney general's office. Finally! What was even better was the coverage. Mr. Limelight's concession speech wasn't even covered much past his introducing his family.

And as I write this, Wolf is ending his coverage of the elections with the Senate race tied at forty-nine to forty-nine with Democrats ahead in the remaining two states. Dare I hope for Democrat control of both the House and Senate?

I'm sure that recounts will be called for and we'll go well into December before knowing who will really be in control. Better get ready for more 2000-style confusion.

What has really been reinforced into my mindset, after watching all this CNN, is that Arianna Huffington is the smartest woman alive and Anderson Cooper wants to marry me.

But I Still Kept My Mouthpiece

This is the picture I took for the Polling Place Photo Project.

When I got to my polling place, I took a quick picture before heading in, since I wasn't sure how much time I would have.

Once inside, I didn't know the laws for taking photographs around polling areas, so I kept my camera in my bag.

I opted for a paper ballot and would have snuck some pictures, but I felt too exposed. Do you remember how you used to set up folders around your desk so nobody could cheat off your math test? That's pretty much what I had to keep everyone from viewing my votes.

I tried to snap some sneaky pictures as I left. I just did some pointing-and-shooting as I hurried away.

It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had forgotten to remove the lenscap.

Take Anybody that You Want as Long as She Don't Go

I knew this day was coming. I just really wasn't prepared.

Chris and Jacque have started selling the puppies. I'm heartbroken.

Of course, I don't want to clean up ten dogs' poop, either.

So if you're looking for a sturdy puppy with papers, bred from a pair of awesome parents, your prayers are answered!

Are You Registered, Baby?

Last night, I talked to Michael. I did my usual griping about this and that and rambling.

After a couple of hours, when it was his turn to talk, he asked "Are you excited about Tuesday?"

What's Tuesday? Was I supposed to do something? Is it somebody's birthday? Remember remember the fifth of November was today. Oh crap.

"Um . . . Tuesday?"

"It's election night!"

Michael is really excited about this election. He feels it bodes well for liberals.

"Overall prediction: No incumbent Democrat running in a high profile race - House, Senate, or Governor - will lose tomorrow. Period. Dems will take a majority of governors' mansions (30 out of 50), will take a solid majority in the House with 235-245 seats, and might just squeak out the barest of majorities in the Senate with 51 seats."

This would set the stage well for the 2008 elections.

I know Michael is disappointed in me. I'm just not as into it as I used to be. It's just that I keep getting disappointed when it comes to politics. And I get really really angry.

Which isn't to say I don't have a bit of hope for tomorrow. If anything, it seems we're going to get rid of the embarrassment named Phil Kline.

Tonight, when we talked, he was practically jumping out if his skin with excitement. When we were signing off, I told him he'd better get to bed early, since he had such a big day in store.

"Yeah. If I can sleep!"

"Well, you know that if you aren't asleep, the election fairy won't come!"

Well, I'm off to bed. I have to get to the polls early since I work late.

Rock the Vote!

I Never Ever Thought Twice

Last week was my first full week all by myself on the phones. I was pretty nervous at first, but I feel like I'm kinda getting the hang of it.

I was afraid that helping people over the phone, rather than face-to-face, was going to be boring. I had such crazy characters at the bank.

But in just a couple of days, I had my first perv calling in.

"You sound young! You're really nice! How about we get to know each other outside your work?"

And that was before he started getting pervy.

I also had a woman wanting to adopt me. "You are such a sweetheart! What's your sign?"

"Um . . . I'm a Virgo."

"That's why! Virgos are always nice! That's why you're so sweet!"

She really needs to talk to my first caller on Friday. She had a different name for me.

"Asshole!"

Don't Tell Me that Crime Don't Pay

Every year I learn new things from my friends, even those I've known forever. Raw recently gave me a lesson on how to save money.

The other night, Raw went out to dinner with several people from work. She had her veggie burger and Sprite. Everyone passed Sophia around.

Sophia did what all babies do; she got grumpy. It's hard work being passed around and having to be cute for each person!

Raw started packing up all her stuff. She went around and said goodbye to each person. Of course, it took awhile to get her baby back. Then it took even more time to get Sophia all bundled into her carrier.

Raw waved at everyone as she left and hurried through the chill to her car. She maneuvered traffic and finally made it home.

Once there, she lugged Sophia up the stairs. She got Sophia out of her carrier and then changed her diaper. She unpacked the diaper bag and then it hit her.

"Casey! I didn't pay for my meal!"

I'll Admit I'm a Fool for You

On Halloween, I had to work quite late into the evening. I rushed to Chris and Jacque's, hoping that Evan would still be in his costume.

I didn't make it. He was in his pajamas, but he was still in full show-off mode.

As soon as I walked in the door, he crawled over and gave me a big grin. He did his usual "HEY!" which means "Look at me right now!"

He then crawled over to Chris and used his legs to help him get into a standing position. Then the little turd walked right over to me!

For months, Evan has been dragging us along by our fingers. He was pretty steady and we were sure he could walk on his own.

At first, he was just too stubborn to try. Once he started crawling, he decided maybe he was too scared.

So after I did some clapping, I said "See? I told you that you could do it. Aunt Bee is always right!"

Paradox of Socialization Results in Duress

Remember when I wrote about my love of office supplies?

Well, the ultimate office supply is a label maker. We had one at the banking center, and I was finding reason after reason to use it.

You need labels for the tabs on your files? I'll help! The back room needs to be totally cleaned out and organized? I'll put in the weeks necessary!

I became so obsessed with the label maker, that I started to think about how awesome it would be to have my own.

In one of my impulse shopping sprees, I picked up a label maker. As I walked through Target, I started thinking about it. "I don't need this right now."

I kept walking. I kept telling myself I didn't need the label maker. Maybe next time.

So I put the label maker back. But I still thought about it. A lot.

The next time I went to Target, the label maker was on sale. "It's a sign!" I reasoned and threw it in my basket.

As I contiuned walking through the store, I started trying to talk myself out of buying it. But the voice in my head was not strong enough.

So I called Jacque.

"The label maker is on sale!" I didn't have to explain the label maker. She had been hearing about it for weeks. "I have to buy it! Please! Tell me I don't need it!"

"Do you need it?"

"No. But I really really want it!"

"Do what I do; think about how many hours you have to work to pay for the label maker. Then think about how much you'll use it. Is it worth it?"

"Probably not," I sulked.

I put the label maker back and then pouted for the next several weeks.

Last week, Jacque came out of the back room and had a present in her hand. "Here. This is for taking care of the puppies while we were gone.

I opened it and my heart skipped a beat. Maybe two.

"You got me a label maker!!!"

I immediately went on a label-making spree. Poor Evan got it on his face!

It's funny because this is pretty much the same look his momma gave me as I ran around her house labeling things.

I Am Finished With You

I am so glad October is over!

This has not been the best month for me, as you may have gathered.

It's been long and full of activity and drama. I think I've probably turned out smarter and stronger because of it. Definitely more cautious.

Scratch that. I'm probably just wishful thinking.

It's more likely I'll still jump head-first-eyes-closed into things.

In any case, November is a new month. That means a fresh start. At least mentally.

Thanks for bearing with me.

And now, onto more strangely funny stuff.