But not Tonight, Feed Them Death

I'm not a fan of the NBA so yes I know I'm late to this story.

Apparently, when the Cavaliers score one hundred points or more in a game, you can turn your ticket in for a free chalupa at Taco Bell.

And if you've ever been to any kind of sports event, you know people get insane for the free stuff. You're going to shoot a T-shirt at me? I can upgrade to a free plastic team cup? Do I want a free pom pom? A free towel? Hell yeah!

When the Cavs were beating the Bucks 99-93 with less than a minute remaining in the game, I'm sure the crowd was going nuts. Free chalupas for all!

But when LeBron got the ball, he dribbled out the clock. He didn't even try to score that goal. The fans would go home hungry.

And boy were the fans mad! They booed poor little LeBron. What bullies!

I guess LeBron is all sad that the fans would boo the home team. Which, yeah, is silly. But come on, one more point?

I listened to coach Mike Brown on Jim Rome the other day. He was the one who told LeBron to dribble it out. Brown said it was obvious the Cavs were going to win and they didn't want to rub it in the Bucks' faces by scoring more points.

Seriously? It's not like the score was 99-50! The won by six points! I really don't think the Bucks would have minded an extra point or two.

I know. It's just a chalupa. And if they can afford a season ticket, they can surely cough up a buck or two for a chalupa.

But the closer the score gets to the century mark, the more they try to rile up the crowd. They start tossing free Taco Bell crap into the crowd. The big screen goes chalupa crazy and apparently there's even a chalupa chant. And then you're going to intentionally deny them the chalupa? Of course you're going to get the drunk fans booing at you!

"I can't believe people who buy season tickets get worked up over a g-- d--- $1 (blank) taco," LeBron said later.

I think he's really missing the point. It's not really about the food. I'm sure most of the fans never even go to get their free chalupa. It's about having a good time with silly stuff. It's about connecting with your fans.

Anyway. That's my two cents on that.

Summons Me with Just One Beep

I know it seems like I'm always buying a new gadget, but I really think this phone will be the last one I ever buy.

The Pomegranate Phone looks absolutely amazing! Check out all the features!

I'm Interested

"What did you do at school today?"

"Uh . . ."

"Did you take a nap?"

"No."

"Did you play outside?"

"Yeah."

"Did you play with other kids?"

"Yeah."

"Did you have lunch?"

"Yeah."

"Did you learn stuff?"

"Yeah."

"I saw your girlfriend this weekend."

"Sophie?"

Post Hypnotic Suggestions

I try not to talk about it much, because I feel like I'm bragging about my goddaughter or something, but Sophia is smart.

Not just kind of smart. Crazy insane smart.

Keep in mind this child is two years of age. She knows when we're near the Troll. She will sing the whole alphabet to you and follow up with a grand rendition of Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star. The kid knows how to get to the mall!

Sophia will sit with you and actually converse. This weekend, we talked fashion. "My shoes match my dress."

"Um. Yes. They do. How old are you?"

"Two."

"Are you sure you're not twelve?"

But smarts aren't any defense against Aunt Bee's suggestion skillz. When Sophia told me about how she was going to get married, I asked if I could wear wings and show up as her fairy godmother.

"No. You can be Sleeping Beauty."

"Who can I be?" Raw asked.

Sophia looked at me and I whispered in her ear. She agreed and announced Raw's identity.

"You can be the eeeeviiill witch!"

Somethin' Now Has Caught His Eye

I have often talked about how awesome it would be to have a camera built into my head. I'd never miss those fleeting picture perfect moments!

And when I mention it, everyone looks at me like I've lost it. Again.

But I'm not the only one who has had such crazy ideas! Tanya Vlatch wants to get a camera installed into her glass eye!

You just wait! You'll be begging for one soon!

Before You Know, Awake

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email asking me about my spider, Pete.

I didn't write anything because I still wasn't over it. I'm feeling a bit better now. But I'm sorry to say Pete died.

She didn't even last as long as the freakin' crickets! What a waste of money!

Oh I mean . . . I know. It's super sad. Especially since she died the same day that my pet fish, Pete died. And I was sick that day. And I watched Pete, the fish die.

Yeah so it was a pretty sad day. But I'm recovering. Especially since I'm hoping my mom and dad find another one of these in their basement:

I swear it's some sort of mini-tarantula! Look at how scary it is! Look at it looking at you!!! I hope this time, they find a live one.

I bet it will eat my crickets.

Needless to Say It's a Wonderful Day

A couple of weeks ago, Alex from AdaptiveBlue Twittered his arrival in San Francisco.

"Send sourdough from Boudin!" I joked.

Yesterday, a package arrived from FedEx. The box had a big Boudin Sourdough logo on it. "No. Way."

We heard that this is the best bread in America. Enjoy it! Thanks for all of your help and for a great friendship. Alex, Fraser and the AdaptiveBlue crew

I was tickled, I was touched and I soon had a fully belly.

I think this speaks volumes about how great the AdaptiveBlue team is. Not only are they brilliant and developing incredible products, they are kind, sincere and totally in touch with their users.

If you're not using Glue, do it now!

I'll be busy filling up on sourdough and making a whole shopping list for Alex!

Please Don't Spoil My Day

"We should hang out this weekend."

"Okay. What are you doing tomorrow?"

"We're going to a pancake breakfast tomorrow morning."

"HAHA!"

"Right. I guess I'll call you when we're done."

"HAHA!"

"Right. Maybe you should just call when you get up."

Choice in the Matter

Here's the thing . . .

I have enough quilts and blankets and throws to keep my whole family toasty at Thanksgiving. I'm not even kidding.

My Granny quilted and I've inherited several of her quilts. My grandparents' neighbor made one for me a few years ago. I have a quilt I bought online because I thought it was gorgeous.

I have comforters I've collected over the years. The one I left home with, a terribly over-used Pooh and the Ralph Lauren with the giant rip. Oh and a few more.

And then there's the throws and various other blankets I've piled into my closet. What's worse, I don't really get cold and never even really use them!

So what in the world could I have been thinking when I looked through that catalog at Jacque's? Why would I see a comforter and think "I need that right now!!!"

Because I'm insane and don't have enough stuff crammed into this place. That's why.

So now you have to help me out. Which color? I'm really leaning toward the darker. In fact, I'm almost certain. But I also need you to talk me out of this. I don't really need it! Help!

Option Danielle

Option Queen Anne

All You Need Is Love

Wow. I got a lot of negative vibes in my inbox when I wrote about being against Proposition 8 in California.

I got emails full of hate and some telling me that I don't live in California and am not gay so shut up already.

I have a lot of things I want to say. But I seem to be having trouble getting my point across. Then I saw Olbermann and he really summed it up well for me:

I've Got the Moves Baby, You've Got the Motion

My brother and T-Biscuit graciously hosted me a couple of weeks ago. I had the pleasure of watching the same episode of Yo Gabba Gabba five times.

Marcus and Tasia got really good at the Dancey Dance:

And I thought he didn't have any moves!

Now Give Me a High-Five

This is for you, Jack.

So dorky and so awesome all at the same time!

You're My Only Hope

Some observations from election night:

1. Whether or not it was a real hologram, CNN's Princess Leia hologram stuff is a ridiculously expensive toy.

2. This election has really revived the career of Hank Williams Jr.

3. I think David Gergen is related to Brian Baumgartner.

But Don't Drag It This Way

Hey look, Raw!

I bet they don't have to tow people from that parking place anymore!

Winding Yourself Up until You're Turning Blue

I think I might have some issues. I've been having angry dreams. Like the one I had the other night . . .

I dreamed I was in my car and pulling up to the stoplight at Rock & Douglas. The car ahead of me was a little convertible and it suddenly pulled some moves that almost caused me to run into it. Because I'm such a good driver, I was able to save us both from a wreck. Then I noticed she was on her mobile phone and putting on make-up.

For some reason, this made me so angry that I put my car in park and and jumped out of my car. I stalked up to the her car and reached into the driver's lap. I grabbed her bag full of make-up and dumped it on the ground.

"Maybe you'll find it easier to drive, now!"

The driver was a woman from work that I don't really know at all. She was shocked. She didn't move for a moment and I stalked back to my car.

Finally realizing what had happened, the lady ran after me. "What's wrong with you?" she shrieked. "I'm calling the cops!"

She continued to follow me and finally caught up and beat on my window for awhile. The light turned green and I drove away.

Apparently, I was on my way to visit Raw and her family. Except in my dream, they lived in a big old house from my hometown. I rang the doorbell and Raw came out with her mom.

I knew I was in trouble. Usually, they yell at me for not just walking in and now they won't even let me in?

Well, it turns out that the driver of the convertible wasn't a lady from work at all. It was actually Raw's sister, Jennifer.

"So what? I'm in trouble, now?"

And then Tom came out. He crossed his arms and stared at me. That's his baby girl. It wasn't going to matter that she had irresponsible driving habits. It wouldn't mean a thing to him how practically like family I am. I meant nothing to Tom now.

And even though I knew my behavior was inexcusably irrational, even though I knew all of this could jeopardize any future relationship with my goddaughters, I couldn't stop myself.

I don't remember what I said. I don't think it was horrible. But it was loud and incredibly defensive, when really I just should have said "Sorry."

I woke up as I was walking away in my dream. "What the hell was that?"

No really! It's totally unrealistic! None of that would ever happen!

Jennifer doesn't even drive a convertible!

They Say You Lost Your Way

"We haven't eaten here in a long time!"

"We haven't, have we?"

"No. I think the last time was . . . a long . . . time ago . . ."

Hallelujah

Congratulations, America!

Wow! That felt good! I haven't voted for a presidential winner since I was a senior in high school!

I didn't expect my reaction to his win. I knew I'd be excited, but I wasn't prepared to be overcome with such emotion. I can't even describe the feeling. I think my reaction was mirrored by the panels on CNN.

After they announced they were calling the win for Obama, CNN showed the crowd at Grant Park. Everyone was going insane. When they finally cut back to the studio, it was just silent. Nobody was trying to talk over each other. Everyone was somber. A few were choked up.

When Obama gave his speech, I was amazed. He was grateful, inspiring and most of all, honest. It's refreshing to hear a politician say something along the lines of "It's going to be a difficult and long road, but I'm willing to stick to it and work my ass off. But I'll need your help. Walk with me. This is awesome, but it's not the end of the fight. It's just begun."

And how awesome is it to see a family who appears to genuinely care for each other? I don't think I've seen a political couple look at each other like that since Al and Tipper! And the girls . . . I mean you can tell they love him, but how much do you want to bet they were more excited about the puppy than Daddy's win?

With as excited and satisfied as I am about Obama's win, I am a little disappointed. I didn't vote for a winner in every category. And I was still holding onto the idea that maybe by some miracle this was going to be the year Kansas went blue. But it was much closer than I thought it would be!

And California . . . Well. You confound me.

I believe we made the right choice for president. I understand all kinds of things can go wrong, but for the first time in a long time, I have some hope. As I've been writing this, I've finally figured out how to describe what I felt last night.

I feel like I can breathe.

And to all those who have wondered if America's beacon still burns as bright: Tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity and unyielding hope.

Yes. We. Can.

I don't like to talk politics with my mom. I get the feeling that she feels everything I say is an attack directed at her.

I'll admit, I'm not the best person to talk politics, either. There's really not much of a chance you're going to change my mind. But I try to listen. My mom cuts me off and is always very defensive.

A couple of weeks ago, I made the mistake of trying to talk to my mom about today's election.

"Oh so you think Obama can fix everything?"

I was very honest and told her no. We have dug ourselves into a very deep hole and left ourselves very few resources to fill it. I don't think Obama can do it in a mere four years.

But I believe that out of all the candidates, he's the best to get us started.

Obama has really inspired people this year. He somehow managed to help us find our passion again. He has the endorsement and support of leaders who can advise him and help guide our country back to a time when we believed in ourselves. When we still had hope.

I just have so much more confidence in the Obama/Biden ticket. For one, Obama just seems so much more presidential. McCain often looks scared and manic. I've never seen Obama look anything other than cool and collected. When he smiles, I feel it's genuine. And if you're one of those people, He's totally the kind of person you could have a drink with.

If you're not convinced by just comparing the two presidential candidates, just take a look at the running mates. Conservatives keep telling us that Obama doesn't have experience and just isn't ready. They use such verbiage in their John McCain-approved commercials. It seems maybe they should take a look at their own ticket before they try that line. Seriously, President Palin? This parody is not too much of an exaggeration!

Today is the day, ladies and gentlemen. One day to change the world. This is our moment.

The Time is Now

Just say no, California!

You have a very important decision tomorrow, California. This is the biggest civil rights vote ever in my lifetime. This is the vote that can get the wheel turning.

Marriage is supposed to about love between two people. Don't put limits on that love.

I honestly thought I was missing something. It seems to be simple. But for people to be so against gay marriage, there had to be a good reason! I tried Googling some valid reasons. What I found was a lot of hatred and words that disgusted me.

I've asked friends. The only answer I have received is that they believe it is against their religion or that "It's just wrong." Which is fine. Everyone is free to their opinions. I respect that.

But this is not a religious issue. This is a matter of telling one group of people that they do not have the option to do something that another group of people can. This is a constitutional issue.

A woman can vote. A black man is free to sit at the front of the bus, can vote and even run for president. Our history is full of people struggling for such inalienable rights. Why do we still continue to discriminate?

Nobody is asking for anything special. This is about equality. Straight people have been getting legally married and screwing things up for years. Why not give everyone a chance?

Vote No on Prop8!

Man This Freak Has Got Me Stressin'

Dear Readers,

I'm in Lawrence. I just had sushi. It was delicious.

But my host?

Well, my host is my brother. And I ordered him a sake bomb. And now he's saying things like "I've been drinking Tasia for two years . . ." So I'm kinda vomiting over here.

Oh and he's doing things like this what you see above.

Or Maybe Just Happy

Dear Texas Tech,

At this moment, you are one of my favorite teams on the planet.

Your offense is creative and aggressive. Your defense isn't too shabby. But most important, you just beat Texas.

Oh boy I hate Texas and I wasn't too happy when you let them score a touchdown to take the lead. I didn't think you could take it back in a mere one and a half minutes. And when you had only eight seconds left, I was yelling "Just kick the field goal!!!"

I underestimated you. Brilliant game!

But your fans. Wow. They aren't the brightest, huh? Maybe you can explain the rules to them?

Congrats on the big win!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

But Then the Smell Hits 'Em

Happy Halloween!

Gather 'round kids! It's time for the annual Jack-O-Lantern Joe story!

One night, my roommate and I were on one of our many late night trips to Food4Less. it was just before Halloween and, like most other stores, there was a huge pile of pumpkins under the ugly fluorescent lights.

As we left, I commented on how easy it seemed it would be to steal one of these pumpkins. Something posessed me and as we walked by, I just kinda grabbed one.

I'm not sure how it happened, really. But the pumpkin was the perfect size. The stem made a great stealing handle. I would be ashamed, but it was like maybe we were meant to be together.

I bestowed upon this beautiful pumpkin the name "Pumpkin Joe" and vowed to make it the best jack-o-lantern, ever.

Unfortunately, my mother had never allowed me to carve a pumpkin. She's an art teacher and somewhat anal about things and she wanted her jack-o-lanterns to be perfect. Of course she used the "I don't want you to cut yourself" excuse.

In any case, though I had never carved a pumpkin, I was determined to do it right. After hours of designing his face and transferring that into the hard rind of Pumpkin Joe, "Jack-O-Lantern Joe" was born on the thirtieth day of October, 1998.

Here he is. My beautiful, beautiful Jack-O-Lantern Joe.

Now . . . I'm not saying he's the most beautiful jack-o-lantern ever created, but I was pretty proud of myself. We enjoyed how hilariously wasted he looked and on Halloween, had a lit cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Which was funny until the rain put out the cigarette.

A couple of days after Halloween, we stepped outside to see that Jack-O-Lantern Joe looked a little funny.

In fact, it seemed Jack-O-Lantern Joe had an exciting Halloween, also. It appeared he had contracted herpes.

Yeah. I know. It's scary.

You can't really see it, but there was some sort of white fungus all around his mouth and he was all saggy.

So of course, we were worried, but more so, we were disgusted.

And so we watched Jack-O-Lantern Joe's descent into hell. We couldn't touch him. It was really scary to do so. He just rotted on the corner of our balcony.

One night, as my friends hung out inside, I snuck out and lit a Doritos bag on fire and placed it inside Jack-O-Lantern Joe.

I then yelled for help and as my friends poured outside, they all stopped in their tracks.

I started rambling about how Jack-O-Lantern Joe had spontaneously combusted. I'm not sure if I should admit that I hung out with people like this, but they believed it.

This is Jack-O-Lantern Joe in all his burning glory.

After that, Jack-O-Lantern Joe just got scarier and scarier, as you can see in these last two pictures.

Eventually, I got up enough courage to pick him up (with a spatula) and salute him as he dropped three stories into the bushes below.

Perhaps it was Karma. My punishment for stealing was just a brief time with Jack-O-Lantern Joe.

Or maybe it's a lesson in looking at the bright side of things. Anyone who reads this story can't be too sad about finding their jack-o-lantern smashed in the road on the first of November!

Still I Got to Stick to My Girls Like Glue

A couple of months ago, I was testing a product for AdaptiveBlue. The product works with Firefox so I should have known to close out the hundred or so tabs I was browsing.

Instead, I tried to go ahead and install. I encountered a malfunction right away.

I sent a message to Fraser via Skype. He tried to guide me through the start-up process but nothing seemed to work.

I see you with your head in your hands, John Doe! Yes, I know we ruins everything!

Anyway, somehow after a few restarts, everything worked perfectly. Since I was testing, the AdaptiveBlue crew was concerned and wanted to do some more investigating. Fraser was very sweet about asking me if I would be willing to share my system with them via Webex. As if it was really going to mess up my day. I was only worried about them seeing all my embarrassing array of tabs.

It's not like I was looking at porn or anything. I just look at things I'd rather people not know about. I saved my tabs to a new bookmark file so I could read through them later. And of course I messed up the netmeeting for awhile. Because that's how I roll.

But once we got it working, they looked through some of my stuff. "What tabs did you have open when you installed?"

I was mortified. They were going to find out about the real me!

They saw the tabs with Yo Gabba Gabba toys and the three tabs all about The Hills. I had a few tabs up about the Large Hadron Collider. I'm sure they were really impressed by the picture of my devil eyeball!

On Tuesday AdaptiveBlue released their newest poduct, Glue.

This browser add-on makes it easier to connect with friends around books, music, movies, restaurants, stocks, wine and more.
Glue automatically appears on Amazon, Last.fm, Netflix, Yahoo! Finance, Wine.com, Citysearch and hundreds of other popular sites to show friends who looked at the same thing and what they thought.

You may remember I mentioned using AdaptiveBlue's BlueOrganizer awhile back. Glue is much simpler to use and looks prettier.

It's also more social. I see you rolling your eyes! "Not another social network!"

I know. I'm rather burned out, too. But this really takes no effort. You download it, create a tiny profile, and it really does the rest for you.

You participate simply by visiting pages. As you browse Glue automatically remembers the last 20 things you visit. In addition Glue gives you two simple ways to express your attitude - Like button and 2Cents box. Whenever you click the Like button your friends will see that you liked this book or music album or movie, regardless on which sites you use. The 2Cents box lets you add a playful comment so that you can let your friends know what you thought.

Glue is incredibly simple to use and takes no web-savvy whatsoever. It works with other social applications, like Twitter and del.icio.us.

If you're using Firefox (and seriously, if you're not, you should. You can do so much more with it than IE), definitely give Glue a try. It's really nifty and I've enjoyed using it.

I'm glad I didn't manage to break it for good in testing!

You Still Matter to Me

Dear Everyone Who Thinks They Will Vote for Obama,

Now is not the time to sit back and relax. You may think "He's so far ahead in the polls. It doesn't matter if I vote."

How many people have to make that same decision before McCain ends up winning?

Don't be lazy. Don't think you don't matter. Please. Vote.

Heart,
Aunt Bee

Cracking Jokes and Drinking Liquor

This weekend, I headed up north to go to the OU vs KSU football game.

It was a great day. Not just because OU won, but because I had a good time with my family.

Doug and Kathy came up, of course. But we were all surprised to see my cousins Jill and Jeremy show up.

"So what's up?" Jill asked me. "I haven't seen you in a long time!"

"Yeah, this is about the time of year when we'll actually see each other." We all live in Kansas, but for some reason, we never hang out except at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

But just like with everyone else I'd like to hang out with, it's hard to sync up. Everyone's really busy!

I really would like to hang out with Jill and Jeremy more often, though. They make me laugh more than just about anyone else in the world. We seem to really understand each other. I guess it's a family thing.

Which is why I wish they were at the Country Club later that night. I think only our family would understand what was happening when Kathy handed David a birthday card and BJ intercepted.

BJ asked for a pen and those of us paying attention started laughing. We knew just what he was doing. Instead of buying David a card, BJ was just going to sign his name to Doug and Kathy's.

Soon the card made its way around the table. Someone even threw in a dollar bill.

It was probably the greatest birthday card David ever received.

Another Bad Taste to This Show

"I have a couple of questions for you."

These are the first words I hear out of my brother's mouth when he called the other day. I'm always afraid when he calls for a reason. Not that he's ever the one to deliver any bad news to me, but there's a first time for everything!

"Whaaat?"

"I need help with this movie thing."

He and T-Biscuit had signed up for one of the mailed-to-your-house movie rental companies. I've used Netflix for years, so he figured I'd know what to do.

"We got our first movies the other day."

"Oh yeah? What did you get?"

"Um. Prom Night."

"HAHAHAHA!"

I know. It was right up there with I Know Who Killed Me."

"Must have been awesome. What else did you get?"

"Um . . . 2010: A Space Odyssey."

Insane taste must run in the family.

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

When I was in San Francisco, I watched a guy fly down a mountainous street on crutches. I thought that was cool. This is cooler.

And Feel the Changes Already Beginning

Thursday was a big day for Jacque. She registered to vote for the first time.

Jacque hadn't registered earlier because she didn't want to be called to jury duty. This election has become the most important choice our generation has ever been asked to vote for, so Jacque is willing to take the risk.

I am really proud of her because I think voting is important. Even if you're not "into" politics, you should vote.

I feel it's especially important for minorities and women to vote. People my age tend to forget, because we weren't a part of it, but people had to struggle to give us the right to vote. We can't take that for granted. When I vote, I'm paying tribute to Susan B. Anthony, Alice Paul, Lucy Stone and all the other men and women who fought so that I could sign my name to that registration card.

I'm proud because of the example she's setting for Evan. She's showing him that she cares about his future. She's giving him a sense of civic duty. He should eat his dinner because there are starving kids in Africa. He should vote because those same people are dying to have the same choice.

Voting is the centerpiece of a democracy. Your vote is important. It's frustrating in Kansas, because my liberal votes are most always quashed by the huge amount of conservative votes. But that doesn't mean I should give up. My vote is telling my government that I'm interested. I care. I have a voice.

Now it's your turn. Use your voice.

Will You Meet Me in the Middle?

"If Kenley wins Project Runway, I'm going to vomit. Really. Like so hard and projectile, you'll see it in San Francisco."

"Me, too. Maybe our vomit will collide over Utah."

After checking MeetWays, I can see it totally would!

Good calculation!

Gimme That

Christmas is coming up soon.

OH yes I know, it's well over two months away. We haven't even gotten through Halloween blah blah blah. But I've got most of my shopping done already!

That's right! Your presents have been purchased and I'm buying a lot of "green" things this year. Don't you groan at me! They're cool!

Ingrates.

Anyway, I'm sure all this talk of Christmas has you thinking "Hmm . . . what can I get Aunt Bee for Christmas?"

Well, let me tell you! I need this.

The RS-2 is like an escape pod from your camera bag. It has a spot for your ID or business cards, a cell phone/radio holder, a spare-battery pocket, and room for two CF cards. The quick-release sizing adjustment, located on the front, makes the strap easy to put on and take off, while also allowing full adjustment to fit your frame.

My current strap is uncomfortable. And I have never felt comfortable wearing any strap around my neck. I've tried to wear them cross-chest, but they just look wrong.

This however, looks brilliant!

So, I need it. Christmas is coming up. Actually, Halloween is much sooner if you were looking for a reason to buy me a present!

Tastes Like Cottage Cheese

Dear Everyone,

If your cottage cheese bucket tells you to use by a certain date, please follow those instructions.

I know. It may only be one day past that date. And you probably haven't even cracked the seal yet.

But please, learn from my mistakes. Don't think it's okay. Because it's not. And you will be gargling for ten minutes and fighting vomit.

Enjoy your Columbus Day!

Heart,
Aunt Bee

ps--The video above doesn't have anything to do with cottage cheese or vomit. It does, however, show you just how annoying I was on Evan's birthday. By watching this, you will feel just a tiny bit of the agony I felt while gargling rancid cottage cheese out of my mouth.

Some People Like to Hug

So when I watch the debates, I don't just watch them.

I'm glued to the television as well as my computer and my phone. I'm constantly reloading about three websites to read their liveblogging of the debates. And I'm receiving Twitter updates. I'm also sending my own observations out by Twitter (as can be seen to the right under "UPDATE").

Ana Marie Cox is usually my favorite:

McCain wants to nationalize every single piece of bad debt in the country. But not health care.

Also? How did the internet come to ask questions? Perhaps the Google is more sophisticated than I thought...

But the winner tonight was Jon Armstrong:

Will anybody from the internet be asking either candidate about any number of girls and any number of cups?

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

If you don't watch this Raw, I will punch you in the face.

viakottke

Take a Look Around, Look What I Found

L.O.Freaking.L!

Go Gadget Go!

In a get-to-know-your-team meeting the other day, I was asked "What is one thing you can't live without?"

It won't surprise most of you to know I answered "My mobile phone."

I used the day I left for San Francisco as an example.

I woke up to my alarm. I then checked my email and flight status. I watched the news while I ate my cereal. While showering, I listened to mp3s.

I videoed myself on the moving walkway. On the plane, I played games while Raw slept. When we landed, I took a picture and sent that to friends and a text message to tell the world we made it.

I called Michael to let him know we were off the train and used a map to guide us to his office.

I did all of this using my phone.

If only it cooked breakfast!

Just Be! Just Be cool!

When I was in high school, I was on the debate team.

Quit laughing! I was awesome! Regional champs, yo!

Anyway, when I was the only girl in a room full of boys, things were weird. A girl really has to watch herself in a time like that.

It's really easy for the people watching to see you talking over people and think "Wow. What a bitch!"

Sure, you might be playing the same game the boys are playing, but nobody seems to see that when they're judging you.

On the other hand, if you know how to work it right, you can make it look like the boys are big bullies. "Why are those mean nasty boys being so mean?"

The debate is starting soon. Biden needs to keep that kind of stuff in mind tonight. Not that it's a room full of boys, but Palin is certainly going to bring the "bulldog." It would be easy to try to jump all over that.

Be polite! Don't be snarky! And for God's sake, don't roll your eyes!

The debate starts in half an hour! Get the popcorn ready!

UPDATE 8:55 Okay. That was like the tenth "maverick." You can roll your eyes now, Joe.

Have a Heart and Make Me Moo

Hey Michael!

Guess what we're doing next time I come to San Francisco!

One Month in Corral for Disorderly Woman.

You know. Minus the jail stuff.

So Now I've Got You

A couple of years ago, Chris and Jacque bought some land west of Wichita. Jacque is always trying to convince me to move out there, too.

I think she just wants someone nearby to search the house with her when she hears scary noises.

Sunday, I headed out to Cheney to go to Evan's birthday bowling party. On the way back, we extended the party time at Jacque's parents' house.

I'm pretty sure they had some sort of trap for me. "Let's make everything perfectly suited to Aunt Bee so she'll want to move out here!"

There were puppies,

fishing,

flowers,

bugs,

bugs on flowers

and THE BIGGEST FRICKIN SPIDER EVER!

This is Pete. He is my new pet.

I bought him some crickets but I refuse to buy the cricket food.

Seven bucks for cricket food???

You Were on Fire

I'm such a nerd.

I am so excited about the debate tonight. I want people to laugh at McCain and his ridiculous behavior lately.

But I'm more excited about the Biden/Palin debate. I do suspect this whole suspension of the campaign and possible cancellation of tonight's debate was partially a ploy to avoid putting Palin in that position.

Okay, people. Calm down. I know that you think you like her.

But have you seen Sarah Palin speak? sure, she can rile up a crowd if she has a teleprompter and someone to write her speech. But if she has to think while talking?

HAHA! What was that?

I'm starting to think I could be a vice presidential candidate. I have experience with international relations! I run this website and people from other countries read it! Hell, I might even have intergalactic experience!

Seriously, kids. Let's all gather around. Take a deep breath. Clear your minds.

Yes. She's pretty. And I understand she seems cool to you with those rad glasses. Those are the reasons you vote for a class president in high school. The biggest responsibilities they have are planning dances and the first reunion.

Palin would be a not-so-unlikely heart failure away from being PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!

Did you learn nothing from that guy you thought you could have a beer with?