The parade wasn't all I had hoped it would be.
It was okay. But the parade was only like five minutes long and the festival entertainment was like watching live karaoke.
It was kinda cool to see people getting kicked out for handing out pamphlets with statistics that contradicted themselves and telling people they were going to hell. But I was looking for flamboyance and sparkles and ABBA songs!
Instead I found mullets and giant belt buckles and only one ABBA song.
Tomorrow, Raw and I are going to the Wichita Gay Pride and Festival. Some people seem to be very adverse to this.
"Why are you going to that?"
It's something different and sure to be fabulous! And we'll use any excuse to hang out together.
I think some people are afraid that this is my way of "coming out."
Calm down, boys and girls. I'm totally attracted to boys. You know, like a gay guy without the . . . package.
Doll found that out today while we were watching previews before the movie. A preview came on for the film Death Race.
It started out with Joan Allen, and I got interested. I like her as an actress, especially in The Contender.
And then I saw Jason Statham.
I sat up straight and shot a look over to Doll. She just nodded her head as if to say "Yeah I see him. Cool it, hornball."
I totally loved this movie more than I thought I would! It was really exciting and maybe a little predictable. But it's an action movie! Get over it!
Oh and James McAvoy totally made it to my top ten.
I have a little trouble with road rage.
I guess not so much rage. But a lot of mouthiness.
So when the Honda behind me in Kansas City was all on top of my bumper, I was cranky. I may have said something to my rear view mirror. Like maybe "GET OFF MY ASS!" or something.
I think Marcus rolled his eyes. I'm pretty sure T-Biscuit prayed in the backseat.
When I was finally able to merge into the other lane, the Honda sped up to get around me. I looked over. I was maybe going to give the driver a dirty look.
Instead, I gave the driver a look of shock. The guy had horns!
I looked over at Marcus. "What the hell was that?"
I think maybe he had a camera in his car to record people's reactions. I'm sure my face looked like these drivers:
Today, my parents are celebrating thirty years of wedded bliss.
Dad celebrated by mowing the lawn while Mom worked at the pool all day. Romantic, no?
We celebrated as a family last week with a trip to Kansas City. And when I say we, I really mean Marcus, T-Biscuit and I celebrated. Because all weekend long, my parents would ask "What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Won't you take this money to have a good time?"
I know. We're incredibly spoiled. But somehow, my parents have a good time watching us have a good time. They're cool like that.
And don't think it was all about us. They had an ulterior motive in all this. The more time we spent doing the stuff we wanted to do meant more time for them to spend time alone with The Boy. Their favorite.
Thanks for the fun times--in Kansas City and all the years before! Happy Anniversary!
One of my pet peeves is when people call me while they're sitting on the pot.
Some people know this and truly enjoy calling me from that location just to annoy me. (ahem) "Guess where I am?"
Unfortunately, my brother is one of these people. He also has the uncanny ability to call me whenever I'm in the bathroom. When he called last night, I was just walking back into my living room. I picked up the phone on its last ring.
I tried to call him back immediately and the phone went through to voicemail. Assuming his phone may have not yet disconnected, I tried again. Still no answer.
I wondered what the dizzle was. Maybe Jackson had been playing with the phone and accidentally called me?
The mystery was solved when I talked with Marcus this afternoon.
"Yeah, so I was trying to call you while I was peeing and the phone kinda slipped. It fell into the potty water."
Maybe that'll learn him a lesson!
I wanted to like this more. The general idea was interesting. I just couldn't get into it.
Conversation while watching the movie Firestarter.
"I want to blow stuff up!"
"Okaaaay . . ."
"Can we blow stuff up on your land before you build your house?"
Raw, I know you hate it when I post more than one video at a time, but I'm totally into these songs.
I've been on a bit of a Radiohead kick. I guess it's time to break out of that and get into some female singers.
Laura Marling, My Manic and I
Estelle, American Boy
Solange, I Decided
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I went home the weekend after we went to Kansas City.
"Did you do anything exciting?" Mamo asked.
"Not really. We pretty much ate, drank and slept."
I had a great time, though. I hope it was all Casey had hoped for.
And now that I'm finally done telling you all about our trip, I'm heading out to do it again. This time, we're going to celebrate Mom and Dad's anniversary.
As we were planning this trip, it was a toss-up between KC and Branson. I was secretly crossing my fingers and hoping we'd go to KC. I'm obsessed.
It was decided that a trip to KC would involve less driving which would be better for The Boy. Not to mention our gas tanks!
Maybe this time, I'll try out the stripper pole!
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Raw and Casey laughed at my dirty mind and then we ate some more birthday cake.
We rented a movie. Casey and I swore we'd stay awake to watch it. Raw was the one to stagger out of bed to turn the television off. Casey and I were off in dreamland.
We woke up later than we had intended, so we rushed to get packed up and checked out. Luckily, Raw is one of those people who goes over everything with a fine-toothed comb. I don't think we forgot anything.
The one place Casey wanted to go when we first planned the Kansas City trip was Sakura, aka Sushi Train.
Sakura is one of those places where you sit around the guys making sushi. After they make a roll, they slice it up and place it on a train as it passes. When the train goes by, you just grab the plates that look yummy. When you're done, they count your plates and charge you for each.
Raw and I both had five plates and were stuffed. Casey had fifteen.
We headed out to The Legends to satisfy Raw's craving for shopping. I bought shoes (shocker!) and we saw Wayne Simien's dad.
Seeing all the families shopping together made Raw and Casey miss the girls. We decided to head back. As soon as we pulled in the drive, Raw shot out of the car like a cannon. Casey was right on her heels. They flew through the door and babbled at the girls about how much they missed them.
The girls were eating and didn't say a word. They gave Raw and Casey a look that said "Oh. Were you gone?"
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We heard Tengo sed Cantina had mojitos on special, so we left Maker's Mark and pushed our way in.
It was incredibly crowded but Casey managed to get us some mojitos. They weren't the best I've ever had, but they were refreshing.
We pushed our way back so we could watch the drunk girls get up and dance on the stripper poles we had dined beside the day before. It was pretty funny, especially since one chick had absolutely no rhythm.
I moved my foot and ended up tripping a guy walking behind me. I turned to apologize but he beat me to it.
He grabbed a big ol' handful of my butt and said "Sorry honey."
I was grossed out, because I hate being called honey and the dude was old!
Then I thought about it. He probably wasn't all that much older than me. In this place, I was old. But still, he called me honey.
We decided to go back to the hotel bar so we could sit and actually hear conversation. We made it back just in time for last call
We were surprised. It was only like ten-thirty. We ended up walking again and found a Tanner's in the Quality Hill district.
AFter what happened the last time we went to Tanner's together, we were a little scared, but we wanted to stay close to the hotel.
Our waitress freaked me out. She always had this condescending look on her face. I felt as I was ordering a drink, she would say "No problem!" but was thinking Are you sure about that?
We hung out for awhile and then decided to call it a night. It was raining, so Casey waved a cab down. The driver rushed to grab a book off the passenger seat.
Casey started asking the driver about school and what classes he was taking. I felt stupid. I realized the book the driver had been trying to move was a textbook.
At first glance, I thought it was porn.
Please don't be angry with me. I didn't really forget your birthday. I knew it was the twelfth and that the day was coming soon. It's just that my brain won't register that particular day every month this year.
But since I love you so much, something in my brain went off this morning at work and said "Hey! This is Sadie's Twelfth!"
So here it is, still on the right day. Just a little later than usual. If you hadn't kept me up so late partying at your house . . .
This year has flown by, but you're so big! It seems like surely you must be older than one! You're almost as big as your sister! As I'm looking back through your pictures, I almost don't recognize that wrinkly old man I met a year ago.
The first year is pretty cool. Babies go through so many changes in that time. And you're right on top of that!
You started out looking a lot like Sophia. But as you grew, you became pretty different. You're going to be my little Mexican gal. I hope you got the tortilla making gene from your grandma, too!
Speaking of food . . . Dang! You can eat! Especially if it's beans! I was eating specials with you and your family one night. Everyone had filed through and had their seconds. You were on fourths well after everyone else was done. You were so mad when we finally pulled you out of your chair. But your belly was so full! It was hard and physically stretched to the limit! We kept poking it and laughing. You just smiled like we were crazy.
Have I mentioned your smile yet? Back around the time you were baptized, your smile changed. Instead of smiling with your mouth, you used your nose. It almost looked like anger! Lately, you've been scrunching your nose and smiling with your mouth. Which is, of course, adorable!
You've developed a lot of really cute actions recently. Your sister is the queen of shaking her booty, but you're quickly catching on. You bounce up and down to get that booty shaking!
And you've discovered the art of kissing. Lovely, slimy, open-mouthed kisses.
One night, you crawled in a circle from me to your mom to your dad and back again. Around and around you went, planting sloppy kisses on us. No wonder we all got the same cold!
My favorite is the high-five. Your daddy hates the high-five! And you love it! I'm pretty sure you'd high-five me all day long if I was up for it. You make it up to your daddy, though, every time I ask you to say "Bee."
You grin, wrinkle your nose, and I always think "This is it! She's going to say it!"
"DaDa!"
The thing I'm struggling with most is how shy you are at first. I reach for you and you freak out. One day, you got really mad at me. Apparently you weren't as ready as I thought you were for me to greet you. You yelled at me. You continued to yell at me after I put you down and you crawled away. You went to your grandma and threw dirty looks at me for ten minutes. You have serious attitude!
It's difficult for me, because I have all this love I want to shower upon you right away. It's hard to hold back. But I'm trying to be patient. I'm learning that look means "No way!" And it's worth it to wait.
I'll always be here waiting to give you a kiss and a big hug. And plenty of booty pinches!
Happy Birthday, Sadie!
Heart,
Aunt Bee
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Once we got to Maker's Mark, I wondered what Casey had been so worried about. Sure, the place looked classy, but the customers did not.
Unless cut off shorts and a wifebeater with your pit hair hanging out is classy.
I ordered a drink and Casey ordered a bottle of wine for Raw and himself. I had my drink and was enjoying it immensely. Casey and Raw sat there, their mouths parched, as I slowly sipped away.
Twenty minutes later, our waiter showed up with the wine. "I'm sorry for the wait. My manager had to go get it."
As in, he had to go to the liquor store? The winery?
Casey had to put up with the whole wine-pouring ceremony. He was very patient as the waiter popped the cork and then waited for Casey to sniff it. I laughed because the waiter poured a small amount into the glass for Casey to taste it. I knew Casey was thinking "Keep going! Fill the glass!"
Casey and I had both been looking at the same entrees. So when I decided to order the salmon, Casey went with the scallops. After analyzing her poo, Raw decided she needed roughage and ordered a salad.
Casey was the winner. The scallops were awesome! I kinda feel bad because I"m pretty sure Raw and I ate most of Casey's food.
Oh. Did I not mention that we're totes classy? And don't feel too bad for Casey. He cleaned up my salmon.
After dinner, Casey ordered a mint julep and we got a slice of mango passion fruit cheesecake.
Casey took a drink of his julep. "Not bad. Try it."
Raw had a sip. "It tastes like gum. You try it!"
I tried to refuse. I don't like bourbon. But they twisted my arm. "No. It tastes like toothpaste."
The cheesecake, though, was great. So great, I was afraid there was a vibrator in Raw's seat when she took her first bite.
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It was our last night in Kansas City and we finally convinced Casey that we should go to Maker's Mark. We all managed to get showered and dressed and headed over to the P&L again.
On our way, Casey was again stopped by a man on the street. I was kinda freaked out again because the guy had a big grown on his chin. Like maybe he was addicted to chewing tobacco but couldn't afford it so he shoved a golf ball in there but the golf ball worked its way down so far that he couldn't get it back.
"Excuse me, sir. Thank you for not being startled . . ." He gold Casey about how he had just gotten out of jail and he had a construction job lined up but he just needed some money to get by until his check came.
Casey listened patiently and then answered, "Nah. We're alright."
We're alright. Casey basically told the guy Nice story. We're off to pay silly amounts of cash for booze and food. See ya!
And good luck with your face!
"Did I hear that guy right?" I asked as we walked away. "Did he just call us African princesses?"
We were surprised because Raw and I are pretty white. "Yeah. He did."
How'd that guy know I used to be an African princess???
I'm seriously slacking.
I have been really busy lately, so that maybe partially excuses my slack. But I haven't been so busy that it would explain my worthlessness:
I haven't been updating the movies and books. I haven't even watched or read any! Also, do you notice my "daily" photo hasn't changed since May 22?
Well, I just noticed that one. I'm chalking that up to technical problems. But had I been paying better attention, I would have known sooner.
I've figured out my problem. I read way too much of the internet every night. It'd be great if I got paid for it, but I don't. It helps that I can share what I'm reading with you easily with the AdaptiveBlue widget on the right, but I'm sure that's not exactly what you're here to see.
It's time to cut down. So I'm looking for help from you, dear readers. Help me pare down my bookmarks! I want to limit my daily reading to just ten (maybe fifteen) sites. I can wander through the rest of my bookmarks some other time.
I already have a few sites I look forward to reading everyday. They've already made the list. But there's room for more. What do you think are the best site for each of these categories:
1. News
2. Politics
3. Gossip
4. Tech/Gadgets
5. Just generally cool.
Thanks in advance! Unless you suggest Perez. Then I'm taking my gratitude back and punching you in the face.
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Raw had already let Casey open one present. She gave him a really nice shirt to match his Harley.
I got Casey a book called What's Your Poo Telling You? I don't know why I thought of him when I saw that book. Also, why did he come to mind when I saw the Ass/Face Soap? I had to get it for him to match his Butt/Face Towel.
Raw and I made Casey blow out his candles, then he re-arranged them to spell out different words. He and I giggled like nine year-olds. It's good to know our brains aren't aging.
Then we sat around. Or rather laid around. I'm pretty sure I napped a bit. I know. We're truly outrageous. Just like Jem.
Casey flipped through channels for an hour before I made him stop so I could watch America's Funniest Home Videos. While Raw was in the bathroom, we saw the funniest video ever! I'll try to explain it because I can't find it online.
The video was a $100,000 finalist, so they talked to the family who sent it in.
"Tuesday night is karaoke night at our house," the father explained. "I'm usually the emcee."
One of the two daughters spoke up. "And we pick the songs."
"And usually, the dog just hangs out and watches," the mother said. "But on that night, I guess he wanted to participate."
Then they showed the video and I chuckled because it was already pretty funny. The dad had the buttons on his shirt undone to mid-chest and was really into his song. He was belting out his song like some eighties rockstar. The girls were bouncing around and dancing with their arms up in the air.
I lost it when the mom walked through the frame doing the robot.
Up to this point, the dog has just been jumping around. But something about the robot must have gotten to him. He jumped up and put his paws on the dad's shoulders. Then he started humping the air between the dad's legs.
Casey and I laughed a lot. What made it even funnier is that the dad just went with it. He pumped his fist in the air and danced.
If you've ever had the misfortune of seeing me laugh uncontrollably, you know it's scary. I can't breathe but I can't stop. It was pretty scary that day as the tears rolled down my face.
I think Raw was pretty concerned when she came out of the restroom. We tried to explain the video but she didn't seem to think it was that funny. That's probably what you're thinking too!
But I swear to you it's hilarious! Someday I'll find it and show it to you!
The video didn't win, of course. The funny ones never do. We continued to flip channels until we came across this guy:
Do you see how weird that was?
What's with the space background? I almost expected him to start singing about spase peepole! Instead, he started spewing religious stuff. But I'm not sure what religion it was. Does anyone know who this is?
Attention people of Kansas City! Help!
Who is this guy floating in space?
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After we had successfully crammed sandwiches into our bellies in about three seconds, Raw and I were ready for bed. It took me all of half a second to fall asleep.
We had gone to sleep late, but Casey didn't make it to bed until much later. How much later? Well, he had breakfast in the restaurant downstairs without us. Before he went to bed!
I didn't wake up for good until after noon. I sat on my bed and read the complementary paper while Raw drank coffee. We decided to let Casey sleep while we went to get lunch and a birthday cake.
This sounded relatively simple, but I don't know my way around Kansas City very well. And Raw . . . well, Raw sometimes doesn't know her way around anywhere very well. But I will say, she's not as bad as she makes herself out to be.
We made our way to Westport pretty easily. We only had to turn around once. We knew there was a market there, because we parked near it when we last saw Tool. The problem was that we couldn't remember on what street it was located.
Westport looks a lot different during the day. We turned down this street and then that one. Then we both saw it at the same time. "Hey! Isn't that the roof?"
Down the hill and to our left, we made our way to the Sun Fresh market. We came from behind and couldn't drive a straight line there, but somehow we made it.
The market was pretty cool. The produce looked awesome. They had sushi! And they had a big sign that read "BREAKFAST!"
I got excited. I love breakfast and had missed out since Casey went without us. Unfortunately, they were done with breakfast, too. So we settled on sandwiches.
We got enough snacks to feed twenty people and a couple of balloons. One read "OVER THE HILL" and Raw got candles to match.
Casey was excited about the ten gallons of juice, pop and water we brought back. He wasn't so thrilled with the old guy stuff. He didn't feel he was old enough to be over the hill.
"What will you have on his balloons when he turns forty?"
Jill and I are alike in other ways, too.
We were talking about the catalog MoMA had sent her.
"They had a darling green bicycle basket that I really want."
And then, as if she kew I was going to ask, she said "I don't even care if I don't have a bicycle."
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It turns out the bacon is pre-cooked. That doesn't sound so appetizing, I know. But you'd be surprised at the things you'll eat when you've been drinking.
We ended up sticking with the BLT and also ordered a turkey club. Then we waited. And waited.
We waited so long, we thought we may have missed the knock on the door. So we decided to order pizza. It wasn't so easy, either. I called four places before I scored.
"Do you deliver to the Hotel Phillips?"
"Yes we do."
"Awesome! I need an order of cheesy breadsticks . . ."
"Hold, please."
As I was holding, there was a knock at the door. Raw answered and it was our room service order. "We found some hummus for you!"
I hung up on the pizza place and Raw ushered the guy out the door. Then we tore into the food.
As I tasted the hummus, I realized it tasted like crap. I wondered if they found the hummus in the garbage. And the pita bread was freshly fried!
Yet they couldn't manage to fry up some French fries?
I watched Crocodile Dundee II the other night. There were some horrible examples of mens' suits in that movie. Let's not recycle those looks!
The last thing Casey said to me that night was "Take care of her."
The first thing Raw said to me after Casey left was "Kill me!"
You see, Raw had developed a case of the hiccups. Normally, to get rid of them, Casey strangles her.
I know. It sounds horrible. It doesn't look awesome, either. Which is why I wasn't so keen on trying to strangle her. So I had other methods. I screamed at her to stop. "LOOK INTO MY EYES! DO IT! HICCUP! ARE YOU SCARED? HICCUP RIGHT NOW!!!"
And she did.
I punched her really hard when she wasn't looking. She looked at me with a pained expression and said "Ow!"
Then she hiccupped.
Nothing seemed to help, but I wasn't going to strangle her.
We finished our drinks and decided to head back to the hotel. "Is Twelfth and Baltimore this way?"
The guy on the corner told us we were heading in the right direction. We ended up as part of a large crowd of people trying to make their way back to their own cars or hotels. We came face-to-face with a wedding party. The man up front yelled "ATTENTION EVERYONE!"
Everyone looked at him but he left us hanging. He had nothing to say. Someone behind us started yelling and soon everyone else joined in. "WOOOOOOO!"
I still don't understand what that was all about.
We walked into the hotel and and went down the stairs to the bar. Because we really needed another drink!
"Do you have Kahlua?" I asked the bartender. I was afraid Kansas City was all out. The bartender looked at me like I was crazy and assured me they did.
We sat down and I ordered a beer for Raw and a Black Russian for me. I watched the bartender pour the liquor and then saw him going off to a side room. "No cream! No cream!"
I'm pretty sure I offended him. He knew what he was doing and the drink was awesome! But I'd rather him be offended than take the risk and end up drinking cream!
Raw and I had our one drink and decided we were hungry. We made our way up to the room and called room service. "Is there any way I can get French fries?"
"If they're on the Late-Night Menu, sure!"
They weren't.
I ordered the hummus and a B.L.T. Soon the phone rang. "This is room service. We're out of the hummus."
We were really excited about the hummus. So we were really disappointed. "Did you want something else? We're out of wraps, too."
"Is there any way I can get some French fries?" I really wanted French fries!
"Well, what we have are chips that are hand-cut and fried."
"Uh huh. But no French fries."
"I'm sorry. The kitchen is closed."
"So how do you cook the bacon?"
Jill is a lot like me in some ways.
I've mentioned before that I have a tendency to exaggerate. Apparently, Jill does, as well.
"The hugest bug ever just walked underneath my desk!" Jill was pretty freaked out.
Later she was even more crazed. "I HAVE A BITE ON MY ANKLE!!!"
"That bug was probably poisonous! You'll surely have a seizure soon!"
"That bug would have ripped my leg off! IT must have happened last night."
"Does it have white streaks? I think thats a sign of a spider bite."
"No. It's kinda hard to see, though. It's on the back of my ankle. After seeing that dinosaur-sized bug at my desk this morning, I'm concerned."
I tried to assure her she was fine, but ten minutes later, she was back with more bad news.
"There's a bite on my other ankle, too! It's bigger than the sun!"
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Casey ended up deciding he didn't want to go to Maker's Mark. He thought it looked too classy. So we headed to the Mexican place instead.
Tengo sed Cantina was definitely not classy. We were seated in a booth that sat right next to a stripper pole.
I had a tasty margarita and some cheap tacos and talked to Raw. Casey called all his friends to let them know there was a slight change in plans. Still drinking, different location.
After eating, we headed back to the hotel to clean up. We wanted to feel totally refreshed before we got totally faded. And fade we did, but I'm getting ahead of myself. And I know how you all want every single event detailed.
We headed back to the P&L in the dark and found it much more crowded. Raw and I scored a seat on a fountain while Casey went to get us drinks.
Yes! I made Casey serve us on his birthday! I'm rotten! But he's so good at it!
While we were waiting, I noticed a gal sitting over on the "bleacher" area. I turned to Raw. "I think I went to school with her."
"You should go say hi!"
"I'm not that sure!"
Casey's friends started showing up and Casey kept brining us drinks. They didn't have Kahlua (!) so I was drinking Momma-style with vodka sours. Raw and I were surprised at the number of big fake boobies, bad music and crazy dancers we saw. But we had a good time. And all through this, I was stealing glances, trying to determine if I knew "that girl."
I know. It shouldn't have been that hard to figure out. But she was a couple of years older than me and we didn't really ever hang out. Plus, it's been over ten years since I last saw her.
My drinks didn't seem very strong. Casey brought one and said "I saw them pour this one. There's a lot of vodka in it. He was right!
After awhile, I was still nursing the strong drink when Casey decided to get another round. He asked if I wanted another. I gave him the signal for "NO WAY! I NEED A REST!"
I guess he thought I gave him the signal for "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"
Raw and I headed to the restroom and when we came out, I saw a guy that was in the same group that included the girl I thought I went to school with. I grabbed his arm to get his attention.
I succeeded in getting his attention and also got a reaction I'd never gotten from a stranger. The guy straight up recoiled from me and turned to look at me with a face full of disgust.
"Are you hanging out with a girl named Eva?"
He softened his stance when he realized I wasn't out to rape or pillage him. "Yeah . . ."
He didn't know her last name, but it was enough to give me the courage to approach her. "Hi Eva! I just scared the crap out of your friend!"
We exchanged pleasantries and then I made my way back to Casey's party. The boys were itching to get to the casino, so Raw and I bid them all a good night. We were having too much fun to leave for the boredom of the casino.
As I told Casey goodbye, he leaned in close. "Take good care of her."
I kind of laughed. "I will."
"No really," he demanded. "Take care of her."
Who does Casey think he is? I was taking care of Raw before he even knew her!
